Archive for September, 2006
They’re Up Our Butts….The SupposiTORY
YOU write the story on this!!!
Famous Stupid People #10
This one’s a boy!!! Rules on the sidebar.
Winner of #9 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie
Liberal’s Get a New Fence
While the federal Liberals choose delegates this weekend, they’ve also unveiled their new fence to sit on. The good old white picket has that family feel and ensures a nice sensation up the butt while waffling. Comes with free K-Y lotion.
Con Artist
Stephan Harper painting his picture of the world.
HAPPY BLOGGIVERSARY , BRUCE!!!
The candles are a lit and my dog is wondering why. Bruce at Canuk Attitude has now been blogging for two years!!! Congrats Bruce, I enjoy your site for your honest perspective of gay life and how the politics and attitudes today can affect the lives and emotions of the LGBT community. Other topics are included. Intelligent, feeling, and a good dose of reflection and light hearted humour bring me back, always…you sweetheart!
Stephen Harper needs Avian Flu Shot
In their meeting yesterday, Romanian President Traian Băsescu flashed the peace sign and Stephen Harper flipped the bird. Romanian officials are now holding Steve in quarantine until Avian flu vaccines arrive in the country to inocculate the PM. Officials say not to worry, the shots should arrive in 2010.
OK, now that I woke up out of that dream, time to get on with some work. I’m workin’ hard.
Famous Stupid People #9
THE HORNS ARE SOUNDING AS JJ OF Unrepentant Old Hippie correctly guessed THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!!!!!!
Meet Montreal Simon
Check out Montreal Simon for some great insight, humour and bashing of the ‘theocons’. Simon’s latest post “Harper’s Theoccons and the Doggy’s Asshole” is about the sicko church the Harper’s attend . Meantime The Galloping Beaver has a good one on “The Rise of the Christian Right in Harper’s Canada”.
Both are good articles but you may need a double lined barf bag.
RUMOUR, RUMOUR!!! Havril of ‘Insert Something Clever’ may be cooking up a new post! all i can say is ‘yay’.
Love Means Never Having To Say You’re a Tory
While Maher Arar is still waiting for an apology and compensation from the government, Steve and Boreen would like to make one thing perfectly clear: Love Means Never Having To Say You’re a Tory.
The First Lady of Canada stresses that the Harpers are all about unconditional love. “There’s no need for words from Stephie. Mr. Arar should just know in his heart we love him”. Harper concurred, saying, “If Mr. Arar would pray to our God, he’d know that what happened was an accident and our God will give hiim richness in his heart”.
Tory caucus all agreed and are thinking of making a movie of the Harper’s beautiful thoughts. It’s rumoured Celine Dion will play Boreen and Ben Mulroney is up for Steve’s role along with Michael J. Fox in lifts, and William Shatner sans girdle.
Naked Friday
Thousands gathered Friday on Parliament Hill for NAKED FRIDAY to show support for Canadian Troops. Originally billed as “Wear Red Friday”, Canadians decided the symbolic wearing of red was being exploited by the CONvalescents and instead chose to wear nothing.
Said Harry Balls, “It’s going to get cold soon but shrinkage isn’t going to hold me back from attending future rallies”. Sporting a red ribbon tattoo, Sandy Beaver said, “This is far more real. It says we don’t support war, we feel for the troops in the desert”. Another participant, Al Bino expressed that “…I just came to see if the PM was handing out free coffee or hot dogs”.
Harper could not be seen amongst the throng and chose instead to broadcast his address through loudspeakers. Apparently he had knicked one of his moobs while attaching a false piercing.
Precedent Setting Case Won For Australian Indigenous People
Mighty clan mother Kahentintha Horn of Six Nations reports that a precedent setting case in Australia gives way for indigenous people. The report also gives a harsh peak at the realities of the D.I.A. and it’s ‘War Room’.
Bush:Howard, you snivellin’ heifer, how’d ya let that happen?
Howard:Snivel, snivel
Bush:Steve, you ever handled one of these long guns before?
Harper:Why, ah, no Sir. But I can, I just know I can. They’re legal in Canada and everything.
Bush:(eyes rolling) Good, that’s what I like to hear, real hombre talk. Howard, we’re about to scare the shit out of ya.
Howard:NO! I’ll never let it happen again. Fair dinkum, mate, it just slipped by.
Bush:Not good enough. We wanna see ya dance.
Harper:Er ya, dance, Howard!
Bush:Hee haw Steve, yer really gettin’ things. Anyone up for some Tex-Mex after?
Meet Harper’s Speech Writer!
Her name is Polly and she’s been on the job since the beginning.
Polly works for crackers, swears like a sailor and needs a lot of attention, but man she’s good at getting Bush’s words into Harper’s speeches!!! It does take a little extra to have an editor delete the ‘squawks’ and expletives but it’s saving The New Government tons of dough to go towards the Messing with Psyches…er, I mean, Supposed War on Terrorism.
Birds of a feather fuck together, I mean FLOCK together, so Harper, FLOCK OFF!!!
Major Labia
There’s been some mention lately by visitors here like Jeff of African Perspective and Cheez of Neuronic that we need people with ovaries as leaders. I agree, as long as they are not sacrificial lambs of ‘the good old boys’.
While I don’t believe in party politics, one woman I admire the heck out of is B.C.’s NDP leader Carole James. Grounded, salt of the earth, not afraid to admit to error, caring but tough, sustainably minded and of Metis and Italian heritage, this woman grew up in poverty in Victoria. She knows the other side of the coin yet understands business. How many are around like that???
Married to Carrier Nation artist Al Gerow, a great guy himself, Carole strives to keep a clean, tight ship with no room for egos. Yes, it’s a new NDP under her leadership and she has just as much knowledge of sustainable practises and practical applications as the Green Party…the difference being that she’s brought the NDP to be the major contender in the ranks against Gordie’s faux liberals.
Would I cast a vote her way…in a second! This woman has major labia, holding her own in her own style….not that of superficial leaders who rely on ego and coersion. She JUST IS HERSELF. You want ovaries, this woman’s got emu eggs.
And Suckers We Is
Afghani President Hamid Karzai thanked Canada for it’s Sucker Bucks as the numero uno country supporting the whateveritis that’s going on over there. Bodies and bucks, we got ’em for you at lo, lo discounted prices! Get placed as a puppet, DON’T form your own army, call 1-800-CanukerSucker and have fun doing whatever it is you’re doing. Wearing a poppy this Remberance Day will take on a whole new meaning!
Don’t forget to vote here:
Rope the Dope – Chavez Vs. Bush
It’s a left uppercut to the jaw, a jab to the eye, and Hugo keeps punching on target to the devil himself, Doublya. We’re waiting for the TKO in the third round, somehow Bush’s coach and trainers just don’t have him prepped for this world bout….no wonder he won’t go up against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. If you recall the Iranian has challenged Bush to a debate but Bush will only do so with HIS guidelines (which means secret two way radio contact to someone with brains to feed him the answers).
Mother Jones has the video of Chavez calling Bush the devil and smelling the sulphur.
Meantime Stevie keeps wanting to make his debut on the world stage a memorable one and he’s itching to get in the ring. Sorry Steve, if youre going to take steroids you have to do the WORKOUT too. Fire Bush’s trainers and start from the beginning, that’s called learning Queenbury Rules. Dumbass.
Ralph Klein – Good Boy Hands In letter of resignation
What a good boy Ralphy is!!! He finally handed in his letter of resignation , and as he promised his wife, didn’t do it before she made a presentation on Crystal Meth (one of Ralph’s reported girlfriends). Now if only he could have contained the little devil within when he tossed coins on the ground to the homeless, cut back a myriad of social programs, violated native rights (plus Ralphy had a penchant for boinking Blackfoot women on his binges…no wonder the corrupt chiefs made him an honourary one) blah blah blah to keep Alberta the United States of Alberta.
Gosh, and Harper is probably crying. I’m sure Klein and dozens, nay hundreds of ‘good old boys’ who towed the bigot line before him are retired, dead, continuuing their dementia.
With the likes of the Fraser Institute on his mind I’m sure cruise ships and the Betty Ford Clinic may be on the list too.
Good luck Ralphy, any clown could have run that oil rich province and looks like you’ve been numbero uno as Bozo for many a year. Your hot air probably contributed far too much to Global Warming. NEXT!!!
Famous Stupid People #8 – RECAP
AWOOGA, AWOOGA, WE HAVE A WINNER!
RON GOOD OF Northern Subverbia guessed Cuba’s Fulgencio Batista.
NO HE IS NOT PETER MACKAY
NO HE IS NOT DONALD RUMSFELD
NO HE IS NOT PRINCE CHARLES
NO HE IS NOT POPE RATZASS
NO HE IS NOT JOE VOLPE
NO HE IS NOT MUSHARRAF
NO HE IS NOT JACOB ZUMA
NO HE IS NOT MIKE HARRIS
NO HE IS NOT KOIZUMI
NO HE IS NOT JOHN HOWARD
NO HE IS NOT NASRALLAH
NO HE IS NOT DON CHIPP
NO HE IS NOT FERDINAND MARCOS
NO HE IS NOT SUHARTO
NO HE IS NOT DONALD CHAMBERLAIN
NO HE IS NOT NORTH AMERICAN
NO HE IS NOT EUROPEAN
YES HE WAS A POLITICIAN
NO HE DOES NOT LIVE IN NORTH AMERICA
NO HE IS NOT MIDDLE EASTERN
NO HE IS NOT AFRICAN
NO HE IS NOT RUSIAN
YES HE IS DEAD
NO HE IS NOT ASIAN
YES HE WAS A HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATOR
NO HE WAS NOT CONSIDERED PART OF SOUTH AMERICAN
From The Kalamalka Rainbow
BC Waterboy, a frequent commentor here, has a post up on his site The Kalamalka Rainbow about a complaint being filed against Dr. Joseph Berger, a Toronto Psychiatrist and member of NARTH’s “scientific advisory committee. Please go to Waterboy’s site, have a good but disgusting read, and send in a complaint!!!! Supporting our LGBT brothers and sisters right now is of utmost importance.
Check out Pam’s House Blend Sept. 19, “Same sex buss on plane almost results in diverted flight”. If Harper keeps glued to bush-TV things is gonna get worse here. Of course we could always go in and snip the cable 🙂
I Want My, I Want My Bush T.V.
Steve’s humming tunes to himself again as he watches Georgie address the United Nations.
Now look at them yo-yos, that’s the way they do it
They play the Con on Bush-TV
That ain’t workin’, that’s the way they do it
Money for nothin and Real Women are free
Now that ain’t workin’, that’s the way they do it
Lemme tell ya, them guys aren’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on their middle finger
Maybe get a blister on their big fat bums.
They get to install wire tap covens
Custom searches, prod with ease
They get to move those hate generators
They get to move those colour t.v.’s
The little faggot with the twang and the shakeup
Yeah, buddy, that’s their own Heir
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he’s a millionaire
I shoulda learned to play the market
I shoulda learned to step on bums
Look at that mama, she got it stickin’ in the camera
Man we could have some
And he’s up there, what’s that, warzone noises
Bangin’ on the warheads like a chimpanzee
Oh, that’ aint workin’, that’s the way they do it
Get your money for nothin’ get your Real Women for free
Money for nothin’, Real Women for free.
I want my , I want my, I want my Bush TV
>
PAYPAL
Harper Valley 