Archive for June, 2006
Women Title Holders to Governor General….be sure to read the letter from the Queen’s Senior Correspondence Officer below the Clan Mother’s letter to the GG.
England’s paparazzi caught Queen Liz making a secret phone call to Canada’s Governor Genereal Michaelle Jean over the Six Nation’s protest at Caledonia.
Recording devices picked up the following conversation:
Liz: Michaelle Jean?
Liz: This is the Queen.
MJ: OH! What a lovely surprise, Your Majesty!
Liz: That’s an interesting name; Michaelle Jean. Philip and I were wondering if you’re a lesbian?
Liz: Nevermind. It’s about those two bit whores who call themselves ‘Clan Mothers’. Let’s just referr to them as ladies, shall we?
MJ: Yes Your Highness.
Liz: You’re a darky who likes to keep her place, isn’t there anything you can do about those untamed beasts?
MJ: I just refuse to answer their letters, emails and phone calls.
Liz: Governor General, may I remind you that your duties include soothing the savage soul? Can’t you send in some DJ’s to blast music whilst the Army gets ready to kill them?
MJ: I’ll see what I can do. Quebec has just declared itself a nation, which overrides all indigenous rights. Maybe I can get Celine Dion to sing to them before they die.
Liz: Excellent! Philip and I were wondering if you’d be interested in a Royal tryst.
Liz: Nevermind. Proceed “Holding the Fort” as you colonized like to say!
MJ: Merci, Your Majesty.
Liz: Please, cut the french. As if the “Royal We” don’t have enough to deal with across the Channel. Thank you Michealle Jean, perhaps if rules change we may knight you some day.
MJ: I’m a woman.
Liz: Heh hemm! One never corrects the Queen. Cheerio, I have to walk the corgies. Mum’s the word on this.
Order you copy of the DVD at http://www.queenspotting.uk only 45 LB !!!!
YES! Seems we’ll be getting three new Naval ships at the low, low price of $15 billion (not including taxes). Can’t wait for them to join our others in the Gulf. O’Connorgan, you must be one happy sailor! Here’s the all-star crew of the first delivered ship, The Beano.
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of an acid trip,
That started from this humid port,
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing scam,
The Ripper a grave boor,
Five passengers set sail that day,
For three tons of manure.
(three tons of manure).
The press they started getting rough,
Sir Conrad was at a loss
If not for the bullshit of the fearless crew,
The Beano would be lost
(The Beano would be lost).
The ship set ground on the shore of this unchartered Canuk bile,
The Ripper too,
A millionaire, and his knife,
A moving czar,
The professor and StockyAnn,
Here on O’Connorgan’s Isle!
(Starring (right to left): Stephen Ripper, Rona Glambrose (along for the photo-op) Conrad Blackmark, Peter HisWay, Gordon O’Connorgan, Doris, and the Professor as himself because we couldn’t find any Cons who could fill his shoes).
RATS CAN TEACH US SOMETHING – INDIAN SUMMER COLONIAL STYLE
Those loveable, laudable politicians! I for one adore yellowed buck teeth, long skinny tails, and the disease, fleas and destruction vermin bring with them. In fact, I’m somewhat jealous that Gordo Campbell isn’t playing as much with Bushby and Harpo. McGuinty gets to ride his nag alongside the Big Rats on their white steeds and Campbell is on a mule. Then again that mule is traversing the province wreaking it’s own Rat Pack havoc, so good on ya, Gordo!
Sewer rats are sweet, loveable, and easy to trap. Just use $$$ and photo-ops as bait. I wish i had a live trap and could have one as a pet.
Ahhhhhhhh! Where’s the warfarin???
Caledonia Upate from Hazel Hill
Hey kids, t-shirts and pro-made signs for the whole family!!! Order online at http://www.bigot.com. Delivery not guaranteed because those stinking Injuns might barricade the Post Office.
The Queen’s birthday celebrations continue. While her official 80th BD kick-off started back in April (the 21st is her actual date of birth), galas and events continued and the next ‘big bash’ is/was today.
“The Ultimate Children’s Party”, held at the Palace gardens, was to host 2,000 kids and 1,000 adults selected by ballot. Included was an all-star show about the Queen losing her handbag, which contains her speech. I’m sure it was extremely well done and all delighted as Cruela de Ville and Captain Hook stole the handbag and Harry Potter and the Famous Five came to Her Royal’s rescue.
The Queen will then made her entry after the speech was recovered, and she read said speech. Maybe it said something like this,
“Phillip and I wish all you youngsters the best. Remember, Britannia still rules. We may have granted Scotland it’s own parliament but still refuse to hand over the purse strings because, after all, they’re still Scottish. Never forget our superiority and that the inferior colonies must do their best to keep the quaint indiegnous peoples in their place’.
I’m sure the stead-faced monarch will continue celebrations throughout the year. Wonder how much the whole thing will have cost????
Meantime Britain’s homeless still go homeless. Policiallly they’re quite organized but I haven’t heard of any large protests (then again I haven’t been keeping up on Biritsh News). At least they have The Big Issue’ magazine to help somewhat (and where this graphic was liberated from). The Big Issue has been published for many a year now and homeless people (or houseless as Hawaiins call themselves) can become licensed sellers and profit plus be eligable for all sorts of programs. The Big Issue ain’t quite what it used to be, mainly featuring articles and art by the homeless then becoming de rigueur for well-known writers and artists submissions and expanding into an extremely large outfit.
I guess the expansion has allowed for better profits, which equals better programs etc..
Meantime, er, ah , Happy Birthday Liz. What will be done with the leftovers?
This one was inspired by Meaghan’s post on June 24th, at Somena Media, entitled, ‘Ok… got it now….It’s an INSTALANCHE’.
While it certainly may not have been her intention to move me or anyone this way, like her, I’ve been contemplating the whole ‘Blog Phenomena’ the last few days and decided to remove my B.C. Blogger links and whatever else one I had (progressive bloggers? canadian bloggers?). No offense to the people who created these links, they do a great job at keeping them updated, and a lot of work goes into it. It’s handy too as i was able to just click and take a quick cyber walk to check out sites.
However, I’ve grown increasingly annoyed at the ‘status’ some seek, unmitigated attacks amongst so called allies, projections of superiority, and other behaviors that make me go, ‘barf…..isn’t what we’re supposed to be doing is moving away from all this crap???’. Hence I created my own ‘i just blog, that’s all’ jpg.
Sorry to all the linked sites that are ‘just bloggers’ too, this is just my own little way of protesting some big b.s.. As time goes on and I check out more sites, get used them and all, I’ll add to my own links. Feel free to comment if you’re ‘just a blogger too’.
So thanks Meaghan for letting me finally sort some things out and make a decision i’ve been pondering. but hey, you’ll never get me to click on all your ‘here’ ‘here’ ‘here’s’ 🙂