Archive for August, 2010

Tales From The Shelter – 20


Of Food and Cigarrettes

No one I know here goes to a food bank.  There’s many who tried but gave up after waiting in line for over two hours.  Besides the wait there’s the paperwork…food isn’t just handed out.  What is handed out isn’t exactly appetizing, I mean, who really wants to eat no name mushed up pears?  Instead the women here shop at Chinatown’s cheap grocery stores like Sunrise and TNT, or the Dollar Store.

If you’re enrolled in a personal developement program you receive meal tickets for the cafeteria.  You also earn meal tickets through volunteer work.  This allows you to stand in line for only 5 to 15 minutes and get a meal like frozen mixed vegetables and shepard’s pie that you need a knife to cut through the mashed potato topping.

While eating everone does their best not to complain as that takes away any palletability one may have for slop.  We act greatful because it’s free and we don’t have to wander out.  If you don’t have an earned meal ticket you can buy a ticket for $2.50….pretty good.

It’s Welfare Wednesday today , aka Mardi Gras.  The first item on most people’s shopping list is cigarrettes.  The week before pay day is a cat and mouse game  for smokes.  If you have any it’s guaranteed you’ll get hit up.   Normally one cigarrette goes for %0 cents if it’s a  high end brand….low end is 25 cents.  Sometimes a trade is done for meal tickets and you gamble that the servers will accept it knowing it’s not you it was issued to (tickets are named and dated).

One trick I use to get around all the bumming, because there’s too many who want a smoke for nothing or only give half the value, is to keep only a few cigs in my pack…then I can honestly say, “No, I’ve only got a few left” and flip open the pack to show them.

Rolling butts is a great extension for those right out and who know better then to hit up their room neighbours all the time , therefore maintaining good relationships.  The problem now is now that there’s a butt box , which is locked, that there’s no old butts to roll.  The solution has been that those of us on disability who receive more money then the welfare people, buy a cheap pack of smokes and put them on the window sill along with a small container for quarters.  It’s an honour system and to date it works.

Many of us have filters and cigarette making machines and buy tobacco when we can’t bare the expense.  They often go out on loan to the welfare people.  It’s a bit of an egg shell walk being on disability, as some of the welfare women feel resentment towards us when it’s that unholy week before payday.  Some do the hint bit, like , “Well, guess I can’t eat until tomorrow’, but you never know if that’s a dodge because everyone likes to make out they don’t have as much money left as they do.  It’s easy to put it to the test, like offering a couple of packs of noodle soup (Itchy Bum), or a roll of nickels or something.   Then the excuses come out, like, ‘I’m allergic to that soup” or “I just can’t bring myself to pay with a roll of coins, it reminds me of my childhood too much’.

Despite the shadow games that go on it all boils down to one thing:  we are women living in poverty.

Oh, and the latest gossip?  Retarded Martha claims she now has two boyfriends, a ‘good one’ and a ‘bad boy’.  Ya right, Martha, and  are you going to spread your legs for either one, cuz all those short shorts and revealing tops you wear and the way you caress yourself in front of the men are saying one thing, but you’re not delivering.  Martha, gawd help you, oh wait, may YOUR PERSONAL GOD help you.

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August 25, 2010 at 9:05 am

There’s a Catholic church across the way and it rings it’s bells way too much.  Sunday is somewhat forgiveable because it’s the Christian sabbath (saturday for Jews and Rastafarians and who knows else).  But the carelling goes on for saturday marriages and practises are on tuesday nights.  I guess bells were orignially rung to call upon the congregation, especially in villages, I haven’t done my Wiki homework.  Then at some point it got turned into some quasi art form that serves nothing better then to irritate.

When I was first here Retarded Martha would go on about how lovely the bells were.  When she discovered that everyone else was cursing them out loud she said, ‘Ha! A lot of good that will do”.  Who care, you retard!  A few weeks later she was cursing them.

I went to the 40th wedding anniversary of a well known Chief last night and had a riot dancing.  Before that various indigenous groups performed and it was way cool.  My witching hour was about 10pm as I hadn’t signed out , which you have to do if you stay out before midnight.  How the hell are you supposed to know if you’ll be out before midnight or not, especially if it’s a spur of the moment event or activity?  I guess the Silly likes to play mom and dad combined as one, you know, just like GOD!

Why do so many play gawd?  Yet they preach the opposite and even have in their glossy pamphlets that they don’t judge.  Ha!  They only say that to get the down on outers in and if they’re really lucky then part of the fold.  And again, they have to say they don’t judge so they can qualify having the rapists and pedophiles here.  Gloss goes a long ways when you’re soliciting donations, but as far as I’m concerned I’ll never place money in those clear plastic balls where Silly people ringing bells set up at Christmas time.  Bells are irritating no matter what size, if they’re being rung for religion.

I play war games on my cell phone somewhat endlessly.  I guess that makes me not a total pacifist or something, but I really get into it….a little too far tonight as I heard a bunch of laughter on the smoking deck and lifted my head to see people chuckling at me.  Apparently I was making rat-a-tat noises and little explosions without realizing it.

I played war since I was a kid, encouraged by a father who sat us on his knee when we were too young and had us watch war documentaries on sunday.  I can still hear him say, “kill the Nazis, kill the Nazis girls, don’t ever let the Nazis rule again!”.  We were horrified by sights of hundreds of dead bodies being bulldozed into graves and thought our calling was to grow up to prevent any such thing again.

On warn summer nights I’d beg my parents to let me sleep in the back yard.  I wore a pot on my head, built a fire and cooked Campbells soup in another pot.  Then it was a matter of waiting for the enemy to come, but they never did.  Yet to be outdoors under the stars was as good a being a thousand miles away from my family, even knowing they were only a few hundred yards away.

I was at peace playing war.  I am at peace playing cell phone war games.  I have no bells.

August 22, 2010 at 9:32 pm 1 comment

There’s a Catholic church across the way and it rings it’s bells way too much.  Sunday is somewhat forgiveable because it’s the Christian sabbath (saturday for Jews and Rastafarians and who knows else).  But the carelling goes on for saturday marriages and practises are on tuesday nights.  I guess bells were orignially rung to call upon the congregation, especially in villages, I haven’t done my Wiki homework.  Then at some point it got turned into some quasi art form that serves nothing better then to irritate.

When I was first here Retarded Martha would go on about how lovely the bells were.  When she discovered that everyone else was cursing them out loud she said, ‘Ha! A lot of good that will do”.  Who care, you retard!  A few weeks later she was cursing them.

I went to the 40th wedding anniversary of a well known Chief last night and had a riot dancing.  Before that various indigenous groups performed and it was way cool.  My witching hour was about 10pm as I hadn’t signed out , which you have to do if you stay out before midnight.  How the hell are you supposed to know if you’ll be out before midnight or not, especially if it’s a spur of the moment event or activity?  I guess the Silly likes to play mom and dad combined as one, you know, just like GOD!

Why do so many play gawd?  Yet they preach the opposite and even have in their glossy pamphlets that they don’t judge.  Ha!  They only say that to get the down on outers in and if they’re really lucky then part of the fold.  And again, they have to say they don’t judge so they can qualify having the rapists and pedophiles here.  Gloss goes a long ways when you’re soliciting donations, but as far as I’m concerned I’ll never place money in those clear plastic balls where Silly people ringing bells set up at Christmas time.  Bells are irritating no matter what size, if they’re being rung for religion.

I play war games on my cell phone somewhat endlessly.  I guess that makes me not a total pacifist or something, but I really get into it….a little too far tonight as I heard a bunch of laughter on the smoking deck and lifted my head to see people chuckling at me.  Apparently I was making rat-a-tat noises and little explosions without realizing it.

I played war since I was a kid, encouraged by a father who sat us on his knee when we were too young and had us watch war documentaries on sunday.  I can still hear him say, “kill the Nazis, kill the Nazis girls, don’t ever let the Nazis rule again!”.  We were horrified by sights of hundreds of dead bodies being bulldozed into graves and thought our calling was to grow up to prevent any such thing again.

On warn summer nights I’d beg my parents to let me sleep in the back yard.  I wore a pot on my head, built a fire and cooked Campbells soup in another pot.  Then it was a matter of waiting for the enemy to come, but they never did.  Yet to be outdoors under the stars was as good a being a thousand miles away from my family, even knowing they were only a few hundred yards away.

I was at peace playing war.  I am at peace playing war games.  I have no bells.

August 22, 2010 at 9:31 pm

Tales From The Shelter – 19


Where do you get your news?

We still don’t have a table on our smoking deck, that’s four months since we’ve been promised one, and two weeks since they took away our makeshift side tables.  Fuckers.  We’ve been glorious defeating the buttbox battle by keeping our own pocket ashtrays….the most popular being Altoids tins.

“The Voice’, Martha’s boyfriend has moved into his own place so we don’t have to hear his irritating grind , or listen to him and Martha talking in raised voices in the slot between where the metal sheet divides the men’s smoking deck from the women.  Martha is such a good girl she sits by the butt box and uses it…lord knows if she should go against authority.  Jesus loves her, this we know, for her big mouth told us so.

There’s been a bed bug outbreak and the workers came through and checked all our bedding and mattresses and handed us a bag full of new bedding.  Once again, brilliant action on management’s part considering the bed bugs have been hiding in the t.v. lounge couches and were reported as so.  Have they checked the couches or steam cleaned them or chucked them?  Of course not.  Oh the bungalings of bureaucray.

The Queen of the Carribean may be leaving us soon and we’ll be sad about that but happy for her to get some kind of housing…mostly what exists for single refugees is room shares.  Speaking of refugees, wonder if the Silly Inn has placed any bids to house the supposed Tamil Tigers who came in on a freighter and docked in Victoria…92 of them were brought to Vancouver the other day so they must be holding them somewhere.  Where?  And there’s a few hundred others they have to process.

Smelly Lady is getting more used to being here…she’s a refugee from Algeria and was brewing something in her room that had most of the floor gagging.  There were rumours it was rotting fruit in her sink, I don’t know but it reeked and it took staff just a little too long to convince her not to be doing whatever she was doing.  Smelly Lady now sits and watches t.v. and sometimes corners Retarded Martha, giving her a little of her own medicine becuase Smelly Lady is just like Martha and doesn’t believe in equal air time.  We have all been hooting and hollering when that happens and Martha just sits there stunned.

I want out of here.

August 20, 2010 at 8:48 am

Tales From The Shelter – 18

It’s so frickin’ hot I’m dying, fer sure.  30 degrees doesn’t sit well with me and I’m not interested in going outside today, I don’t know if it’s the heat or my mild agoraphobia acting up (ahhhhh – people!!!!) or both.  The smoking deck is 3.4 windowed in so it’s double hot out there and I’m a chimney so merely persevere and have minimal movement.  Talk abut a slave to my addiction.

The Captain ordered butt boxes put on all smoking decks and ashtrays removed.  Our side tables were also removed but no explaination given.  Hmm, my, how spiritual and what good landlords.  I found my ashtrays in the garbage – such respect for personal property!  It all speaks of their take on spirituality being a sham…they say prayers before meetings so think this makes for spirituality in the workplace.  Well isn’t that cute, they gather amongst themselves and probably pray for our dear , lost souls, then kind of twitch when we’re not acting like lambs.  I’d like to shove wool up their butts sometimes.

How does an institution to house people, that is religious , address spirituality?  The first components of such are purpose and intent.  This is obviously not being thought about as one simple little memo explaining WHY things are being done would go a thousand miles along everyone’s personal journey (the phrase used most often here for people to make excuses for their behavior).   Next comes working with kindness, compassion, forgiveness, understanding and knowlegde.   Hmm, looks like they missed the boat on this too.

The consequences of their actions create the following for us: confusion, hurt feelings, oppression, anger, and I’m sure a few more feelings.  Speculation then comes in and suspicion is a natural route.

All we can figure is that these are fire marshall regulations , and if so, we could have been told that.  BUT WAIT!  A mystery woman appeared!  Yes, a woman on our floor who says she’s here just for a few days while travelling through.  Turns out she’s a retired chaplaine.  Ah hah!  Brass!  They were wanting things to look tickety boo for brass and cut down on the smoke deck socialization….illusion!

So why the fuck don’t they just say so?  We’d go along with things.  But no, no, no, there has to be a shroud of secrecy, you know, us lambs wouldn’t quite understand and all that.

Baaaaaaah!

Tonight I’ll walk The Hastings Bazarre, where all the stolen goods are boosted, to see if the crackheads are selling yet more stuff taken out of my van.  Despite doors being left open, another window was broken and they finally discovered a secret hiding place I had for a few things.   The energy along there should match the sordid heat.

August 14, 2010 at 6:52 pm

Tales From The Shelter – 18

Look , kids, it’s ‘western world , blonde, blue eyed Jesus’…what happened to the middle eastern, jewish guy?  Was this a makeover a la micheal jackson?  Was Mr. Nazareth that insecure about his looks or , gasp, did White Christians change his look??? Eek, what if the tip of Christ’s nose falls off?

I’ve cooled my jets over the fucking crackheads who broke my car window.  Now it’s a matter of selling it, and transferring the observance of stupidity over to the building manager.

We have 4 ashtrays on our smoking deck and a large tin can to dump our butts into.  Somehow management attatched on of those butt boxes onto the wall out there and we’ve been told all ashtrays must go and only the butt box used.  Heh?  My first thought was screw them, i’ll use my pocket ashtray which is an old mint tin i use for when outdoors so i don’t have to litter the cigarette filters.

It’s just another thing…some passive aggressive move or pure stupidity or something as the men’s smoke deck has a large plant pot filled with sand for their butts and the chairs are arranged around it for convenience.  Where they placed the butt box is not convenient.  There is no convenience for it , anywhere.

Meantime the dryer vent sits above us , spewing out it’s bits of lint into our lungs, which is not our choice, whereas cigarrettes are.  The vent is a fire trap.  The lint builds up, collects and blows hunks of lint out, while more and more accumulates inside the duct.

So, mr. manager, if you have erected the butt box because you feel our ashtrays are a fire hazard then why don’t you take care of the dryer vent first?  And if ashtrays are a fire hazard then why don’t you give us a pot filled with sand?

And where’s our recourse?  Our councillor seems to have no say over the matter and we are not told the protocol for complaints and warned not to ‘go there’ when something needs complainging about.

And some councillors here actually believe this place acts ‘spiritually’?  No, it’s the same old heirarchal control freak, power mongering, sociopathic model as elsewhere.  Let’s get things right and call a spade a spade, rather than being like The Silly and calling a spade a tool of Christ.

August 12, 2010 at 8:53 am

Tales From The Shelter – 17

CREACKHEADS LOOK THE FUCK OUT!

I got hit again….fucking crackheads broke a window in my van….for the third time!!!  AND my doors were fucking open, they weren’t locked.  Dumb fucks, dumb fucks, dumb fucks!

Nothing much was missing, just some computer paper, but i walked along east hastings anyways absolutley disgusted with the fucking crackheads there.  i was gunning…anyone who looked at me got a stern look back.  Ya ya ya, addictions hide people’s pains and there’s a lot of pain and suffering around.  Some got hooked just cause they were leading a hedonistic lifestyle and guess what, third time and you’re caught by the drug.

It’s pitiful, pathetic.  Zombies walking mine fields.  I’m no bleed heart liberal , nuh uh, not when it comes to fucking crack, crystal meth , junk and coke.  Nor booze for that matter and that includes the guy in the $1,000 suit hooked on martinis or peron.  Yes, there but for the grace of gawd go i…..but i feel beyond that now, and into a world where the fucking politicians who keep turning blind eyes and coming up with bandaid solutions are on my hit list first….it’s like they’re the Generals and Majors and the street people are their hollow soldiers.

When you’re getting hit by the front line, in the trenches, you just want to do them in, same as seeing Jerry over that ridge and taking him out before he takes you.  But oh wouldn’t it be so nice to meet with the brass and cut their balls off?  I mean really, I’ve frickin’ had it.

I’m out for blood but I’ll never get it because the zombies and Darth Vaders don’t bleed.

August 10, 2010 at 8:24 pm

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Winnder of # 52 is Great Aunty Bertha of Ecclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER = RICH COLEMAN

Winner of #51 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = KIM CAMPBELL

Winner of #50 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = RONALD REGAN

Winner of #49 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LINDA LINGLE

Winner of #48 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = ELIZABETH DOLE

Winner of #47 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LIBERIA'S CHARLES TAYLOR

Winner of #46 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = PHIL FONTAINE

Winner of #45 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = SARAH PALIN

Winner of the dastardly #44 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = JUDGE JOHN G. ROBERTS

Winner # 43 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER = ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGAR

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ANSWER= JANET NAPOLINI

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ANSWER= PREMIER GORDON CAMPBELL

Winner #40 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= DICK CHENEY

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ANSWER= ANITA BRYANT

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ANSWER= Ted Nugent

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ANSWER= Hillary Clinton

#36 is GAB of Eclectic Eccentricity.
ANSWER=TONY CLEMENTS

#35 is Bruce of Canuk Attitude
ANSWER= STEPHEN HARPER

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ANSWER=MAYOR MARIE TRAYNOR OF CALEDONIA

#33 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER=POL POT

#32 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=DON CHERRY

#31 is Ross of The Gazateer.

ANSWER = BO DEREK

#30 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PRINCE PHILIP

#29 AND 28 winner is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER = NANCY PELOSI, GEORGE WALLACE

# 27 Karen of Voyages of the HMS Swiftsure. ANSWER = BRIAN MULRONEY

# 26 Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: PRINCESS ANNE

# 25 AND # 24 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote. ANSWER: HAMID KARZI.

# 23 winner is Bruce of Canuk Attitude ANSWER: EVA BRAUN

# 22 winner is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER: JOHN BAIRD.

# 21 is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER: ANGELA MERKEL

#20 is Liz who has no blogspot.
ANSWER: JIM PRENTICE

#19 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie ANSWER=GARY MACHALE

#18 is Bruce of Canuk AttitudeANSWER= DALTON MACGUINTY

#17 is Jamie of And From These Ashes.... ANSWER: MARGARET THATCHER

#16 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: JOSPEH MACCARTHY

# 15 is Sheena of SheenaVision. ANSWER= NANCY REGAN

#14 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: The Pope

#13 is The Anon of Cyber Space. ANSWER: Barbara Bush

#12 is The Anon of no fixed address. ANSWER: Augusto Pinnochet

# 11 is The Rev of The Woodshed. ANSWER: Donald Trump

#10 is Sheena of SheenaVision ANSWER: Josef Stalin

#9 is JJ of Unperpentant Old HippieANSWER: The Queen of England

# 8 is Ron of Northern SuberviaANSWER=Fulgencio Batista

#6 AND #7 is Q of North of Center ANSWER #6= Felipe Calderon and ANSWER#7=Alessandra Mussolini

#5 is Bazz of Oi ! Thump !. ANSWER= Jane Russell

#4 is BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow. ANSWER= "Michael Chertoff"

#3 is Annamarie of Verbena-19 ANSWER= "Laureen Harper"

#2 is Anon...who shall remain anonymous. ANSWER= "Idi Amin"

#1 is Austin of WildDogRoad ANSWER: Imedla Marcos

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