Archive for December, 2010
I’m lucky. I have family in Vancouver and area. Some of the gals here have no one. They’ve been writing Christmas cards and slipping them under our doors. I don’t do xmas cards and feel a wee tinge of guilt because of these women’s situation. But I refuse to go against my grain and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Life can be confusing in communal living. Standards, ethics, values all get tested immeasurably and what once may have bothered you you have to learn to drop or you’ll go crazy.
One of my sisters gave me a bag full of organic walnuts. I didn’t share them with the women of the ward as will use them as a gift to bring to Christmas dinner at my soon to be in-laws. Again, I feel a twinge of guilt. Why? I’m not sure I’ll ever sort that one out save to guess I have a soft part of my heart that produces a feeling of wanting to give and share with as many as possible. At the same time, that softness can turn to iron ore and the rust colour it leeches paints a hard picture.
There’s battered wives here, refugees, recently released prisoners, recovering addicts, and most, like me, all suffer from some sort of mood disorder or outright , certified nuttiness (no pun intended). Many were also sex trade workers while in their addictions.
These women all have their own unique gifts and talents, despite whether they can drive me up the wall or not. I’m sure I can drive them up the wall , by the same token. But here we are, living on welfare or disability and waiting, waiting, waiting for housing to come through. In the meantime we’re in each other’s faces day after day after week after month. I’ve been here since last March and only one of us has obtained housing. Some go to transitional places , like an affiliate building where you have your own bachelor suite but are closely watched by the front desk and on video. Random urine tests are done – you use, your out. Sign in for this, sign out for that. It’s more like a half way house and the extra space above the 11 x 15 cubby holes we have here doesn’t make me feel like I’d be moving forward. I will not apply.
8 am and it’s still dark out. It was such a relief to reach Solstice knowing the days will be getting longer. I dream of the time again when I’ll be able to ride my bike through town at night , cutting through warm thermals that leave me feeling like I’m a raven who’s completed a mission. Gliding. I like to glide.
No matter what I can’t escape thinking how fortuanate I am compared to so many places in the world. This doesn’t mean I would give up my work to help improve democracy, rights, and entitlements. I grew tired of ‘fighting’ a while ago, realizing working has less drain on one emotionally and mentally. It’s new paradigm b.s. and it works….I don’t have much tolerance for those who are self proclaimed fighters.
What is fighting for a cause anyways, I’m confused? Seems the fighters are more about themselves. One I barely know just placed me in a Facebook Group…how he did this I don’t know, he’s an administrator and either FB has changed and given the Admins the power to do this or he’s a hacker. I think the latter. So, to further his own cause he compromised me. Very unethical and as far as I’m concerned no worse then the authorities/system he proclaims to fight. A bit sick, huh?
Anyways, It’s Christmas, ‘and what have you done?”…no matter the commercialization and a hideous holiday, it’s what I grew up with so my roots are there. I don’t like the stress of it, but I do like the gatherings, being with family (although that has it’s downs as well as ups), exchanging gifts, and most of all being the official ‘stocking stuffer’ of my own immediate family, despite a
I’m tired of the same faces and personalities day after day and grateful I can take off for three days during christmas. There’s an irony to it though, for while I will love being away I will miss my cubby hole.
After being brieflly and rudely interupted by the honourless Jenny Kwan, I can now tell some more tales from the Silly Man Hotel.
Last night was our Christmas Dinner. Every now and then special meals are served for free for us. A couple of brothers from somewhere donated the money and the servers were mostly cops and unidentified civilians.
Sitting in the cafeteria, decorated a la dollar store, the uniformed workers brought us our meals , eliminated the need to line up at the slop counter. It was nice. I made cracks to the cops and they were good humoured, and the meal was real, genuine turkey, with stuffing and the other works.
Sparky had a cold and her and Tele-Tubby (aka Whiner) figured that a simple common cold was worse then most ailments. I thought a cold played second to my lobotomy.
The staff sang Christmas carols while we dined by dollar store fake candle light, and the atmosphere was pretty festive. There was the odd person crying cuz Christmas triggers a lot in many ….addictions , families, losses, all factor in to play. I was dry eyed this year as I’m on the correct medication. For Now. Till it craps out.
A couple of the gals on our ward have been handing out cards and wee gifts but I’m not partaking in that. Christ, on our wages a dollar present to everyone adds up to too much. And I hate christmas cards, I really do. They’re a waste of paper. Let’s save the environment in the name of being grumpy!
She may not be the picture of a dramatic white swan about to end her career, in fact , even a molting chicken somehow doesn’t quite give her the disgrace she exudes. But make no mistake, she’s cut her neck off politically, however, that seems to tie in with her screaming banshee ‘chicken running round with her head cut off’ style.
Jenny Kwan brought British Columbia NDP leader, Carole James, down. Or did she? There’s no doubt Carole is a leader, and one of new paradigm style (consensus – hey Jenny, ever heard of Nunavut, it works there, how come you don’t like it for here?). Within hours of her devastating wake, The Vancouver Sun’s Vaughn Palmer had this to say.
What can you do if you’re peeved as hell, like me? A friend is promoting the idea of emailing Jenny Kwan and telling her you don’t like what she did. Jenny.Kwan.MLA@leg.bc.ca
Here’s what I had to say to the fledgling fowl:
Dear Ms. Kwan,
While the whole fiasco will move people into their rightful paths, that doesn’t mean we can just let the grieving go ‘pooossshshhhh’ like a puff of wind. To that end, I say don’t be surprised if I do more posts on Jenny Penny ‘the sky is falling in’. As a matter of fact, I’m trying to find the knife she put in Carole’s back, so am busy in the forensics lab looking at serrated edges, switch-blades and the like. I keep hearing a voice saying, ‘Think Dollar Store”.
If you’re like me you think speedos should be banned…save in the cases of parades, especially the gay variety. I think you have to forgive these young gents and ladies in Yorkton, Saskatchewan for donning red tighties , especially with cold prairie weather and shrinkage and all :D.
Good lord, this looks more like a mug shot then Bruce of Canuk Attitude, but I wanted a pic that showed his long hair. When I first met Bruce in cyber (and sadly, never in this realm), he also had a beard and looked like a hippie dude. He might fire me for calling him a a dude rather then a sister, and he did love me calling him “Brucie”.
Bruce passed away the other day. Pits. Double pits. My mother took her life also and I know the effect it has on family and friends….it’s a long lasting scar that rips open from time to time and just never seems to go away completely. At the same time I also know the effects of depression….the pain and anguish, and how opting out of life seems like the only solution. I’m sure he’s found peace at last.
Whether Brucie would believe it or not, he was making a contribution to the world and Canada with his blog. Canuk Attitude. He was meticulous with his presentation, thoughtfullness and wry humour…his intelligence and ability to read between the lines was uncanny. Yet he was a humble man and willing to help out us newbies as we came along.
Love and Miss ya Brucie-Darling!
Perhaps that should read , “serated knife’ or ‘rolling pin’.
There’s nothing very pretty about politics and Carole James was handed her share of ugly with the recent up-rising in the NDP bakery. Jenny Kwan, veteran MLA (her and Joy MacPhail hosted the ‘There’s only two of us in the opposition and we’re going to whine and scream and cry” show). Kwan and MacPhail’s ridings are NDP and written in stone, how could anyone who ran there lose? They couldn’t so Kwan and MacPhail used antics such as wind up penis’s that did little circles along desks at the legislature.
James’ biggest political outfall is that she wasn’t a politician but a leader and gawd lets hope she never becomes a politician. She’s slightly ahead of her time, as are people like the U.S.A.’s Dennis Kuchinik. Carole, like Dennis, make sense and people don’t vote for sense.
Kwan is jealous and resentful in my opinion. She had her hay-day as the scraming banshee with McPhail and couldn’t stand being roped in by James. Kwan supporters say Kwan wasn’t allowed to speak out about welfare; prob is that Shane Simpson is the NDP MLA Housing and Social Developement critic so it’s his baileywick, his area and Kwan did not have the right to cross out of her arena without permission.
I’m sad to see James go BUT this will place her onto her true path and I’m certain it will be far further than Kwan will ever achieve. I have a backhanded thanks to Kwan for creating an opening for James to better serve her purpose in life.
The Baker’s Dozen may be on the display shelf for now but will quickly become day-old and the yeast infection has already set in.
Would you like your pie with or without crust?
Thanks you, Gordon Campbell and Kevin Falcon and Rich Coleman. Because of your malicious minds I can’t get into the closest community medical clinic here for three weeks, even though I continue to have health problems. You guys take the cake!
Imagine, Falcon running for leader for the Criminal, er I mean Liberal Party of BC cuz his old buddy, old pal, Gordo really fucked up. And Falcon will do better? These three thugs probably still kiss Bush’s ass. Oh yum, Texas road apples with a hint of catfish and a sassy bouquet! Just my kind of drink….NOT!
No matter what there will not be a good contender for the Liberal leadership because they’re all a bunch of fucked up dummies. Why, it might be beter if Van der Zalm were at the helm again….wait, I didn’t REALLY say that, did I? Pardon my cynisism, it comes too easily in a world full of fractured souls. worn down spirits and flattened hearts. Das Boot is sinking and why should anyone care?
Why should anyone care? They shouldn’t. Let the sociopaths lie in their own graves with no government subsidy for burial (do MLA’s get burial costs? Perhaps they should). I will not be greiving.
Carole James is the definite winner but lo and behold her caucus better stick together and some real solutions instilled because we never, ever, want another Glenn Clarke. I don’t think we will with Carole, not herself, but if the NDP sticks to it’s ‘stick together no matter what’ manifesto then a rescenario could be repeated. After all, the Dippers should have recalled Clarke themselves but get too dogmatic….and that’s no good in a dog eat dog world where we want/need/deserve heart combined with brains.
Falcon, fly away, buddy….we’re waiting for your bird-shit to hit our heads.