Archive for November, 2006

Happy Birthday My Pumpkin Pie a la Mode !!!

pumpkin-pie-25909.jpg
24 years ago it was easy to have you growing inside me…except when the cow chased me and I slid on my stomache in pies. When you first started kicking it was the most incredible experience I’d ever had. Then you kicked, and kicked and kicked!!!

As you were almost coming out it wasn’t so easy. Yes, I kicked the doctors and swore and screamed a lot. When they put a fuzzy little bear on my chest the miracle of your birth came sailing through (the hell with the hemaroids, I had a baby girl).

Watching you grow up was a miracle too, though not always easy. You’re a beautiful young woman now but still, when you hurt, I hurt. Your dad and I are so proud of you in every way. There is no stronger love then a parent for a child (even though us parents screwed up a lot along the way).

You were always an easy girl….and I was an uptight mother….what can I say, I brought my own childhood fears into parenting. But I think I was pretty honest with you and you were nothing but with me (save for the pranks, and of course, the stuff I didn’t want to know). HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you’ll always be my pumpkin pie a la mode.

This is blog award time and I think I’m supposed to post funny stuff, but you’re more important. I love ya, chickadee!!!!! And here’s my poem to you I wrote a few years back:

My Daughter’s Teardrop
single tear crests
the contoured trail of cheekbone.
one eye’s raindrop falling.

i gaze at the crystal,
long to have it set and strung
from nape to bosom
where I can cherish it’s eternity
amidst the wraps of my heart.
my palm is ready
to warm a longing life,
and suffer instead of she.

one teardrop.
a succinct second of life
emerging from the pools
of tribulations.
grant me those seconds
to hold in the blanket of my breasts,
leaving her unscathed
and saved from constant sorrow.

a mother wears her child’s pain.
silently.
invisibly.
there’s not a pawnshop around
to take the precious bond.
not a burglar nor bandit nor brandisher
of greenbacks and bonds
willing or worthy of
my daughter’s crystal creation

my daughter’s teardrop:
an heirloom from eve.

to lizzie, my precious pumpkin pie a la mode,
love mummy wummy, 2004

November 30, 2006 at 9:14 pm 8 comments

Harper Leads Surgical Team for Canada

harpercanadahead.jpg
“That’s great, doctors….you mean I can make the first incision for the lobotomy?”

November 30, 2006 at 12:24 pm 3 comments

Bev Oda, Who Are You?

odaburka.jpg
Or should that read, “Who do you THINK you are”?. The dismantling of many Status of Women offices begins in the spring.. Nice play, Shakespeare.

I Googled, Wiki’d and Statussed around to see what I could find about Burka Bev. Not much. Lots on her career…a former teacher, Japanese-Canadian descent, career, career, career. Nothing on her family and interests. This leads me to one conclusion: Burka Bev is a an undercover lesbian. Literally. I think we’ve got a case of a ‘top’ gone wild for power and advancement. No good lesbian would undermine women’s rights. I think her collection of Snap-On-Tools has gone to her head. Is she undercover to ‘bust’ (pun intentional) feminists as some sort of Inspect-her Gadget, or is she undercover with MP groupies who want some submissive play?

Ya know, if the Con-Artists were REALLY concerend over S.O.W. being represented by too many lobby groups they could have a consencus system, made the playing field a little more equal and come up with a decision making matrix based on principles that advance the rights of women…….a little too advanced for the Artiste’s du Con though. Women’s issues and inequality are still high on the shelf. We are still bound by the U.N.’s Agenda 21 Charter on Sustainability (this is one Stever hasn’t made into a paper mache statue yet) , which stresses the ongoing need for women’s rights and justice. Minister of Heritage? Ya, women’s rights as heritage pieces on the display cabinet next to some collector edition plates.

Burka Bev, don’t undermine your sisters….and don’t put your mask on while talking with Jack Straw! And don’t show your face around my house unless you come out of the closet and stand up for who you really are: a WOMAN…let’s hear you roar, not snarl and eat the young! I mean as in , you know, bite and swallow them….well , how about kill and digest them, ya, that’s better.

*Note…great story about a Parti Quebecois landing in hot water over an appearance in a tv sketch about bush and harper in a ‘brokeback mountain’ scene at Chinese in Vancouver . Excellent photoshop too!

November 30, 2006 at 9:18 am 5 comments

Winner of Stupid Famous People #15 – Sheena!

stupidpeoplesmall2.jpg
The band is playing and streamers are flying….congratulations to Sheena of Sheena Vision for guessing Nancy Reagan. As usual, the winner gets a write up on their blog, so check the sidebar for our choice of contenders in Best Personal Blog in the CBA Awards!!!

*note….don’t forget to vote Slap Upside the Head as ‘Best Cultural Blog’. Other choices are on the sidebar.

**B.C. NDP leader Carole James delivered a great speech today at the B.C. Federation of Labour’s 50th Anniversary Convention.

November 29, 2006 at 9:09 pm 2 comments

From the Archives – Harper Valley P.T.A.

pta2.jpg
I want to tell you all a story ’bout a Harper Valley widowed wife
Who tried support her kids who attended Harper Valley Junior High
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play
She said, “Mom, I got a note here from the Harper Valley P.T.A.”

The note said, “Mrs. Johnson, we know you support abortions and are totally against war
You been out there protesting and trying to get the government to give more
We don’t support you and your radical aims and goals”
Signed the Harper Valley P.T.A., ‘Progressive Twits and Assholes’.

Well, it happened that the P.T.A. was gonna meet that very afternoon
They were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson brought her clan right into the room
They wore suits and tie-dye, rags, and some were even gay
She said, “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley P.T.A.”

Well, there’s cabinet ministers sitting there who’ve asked me if I wanna screw
Have stocks and shares in Haliburton, and Lockheed Martin too
And how come so many want to war and steal more land from the Mohawks?
Then go to church on Sunday and are casting stones as big as rocks?

Well Mr. Harper couldn’t be here cause he was down visiting Bush
And secretly they were grabbing each other’s little neo-touche
Then you have the nerve to tell me you think that as a mother I’m not fit
Well this is just a little Peyton Place and you’re all assholes and upper class twits

No I wouldn’t put you on because everyone was caught in their roles
The day my Mama socked it to the Progressive Twits and Assholes
The day my Mama socked it to the Progressive Twits and Assholes
—————————————————————————
*it’s snowing, the roads are trecherous, i can’t work on my copper projects because it’s too cold outside. What else to do but blog, blog blog??? And Havril, I already gave you the tab for this!

November 29, 2006 at 4:28 pm 5 comments

The Turkey Goes To Turkey

popeturkey.jpg
Holy cow…or is that turkey…or RATzinger? The Pope is in Turkey insisting it’s NOT A POLITICAL move, but he’s there to support Turkey’s bid to join the E.U.. And how can that not be political, Mr. Ratzinger? Oh, pardon, me, amongst other things it would mean Turkey’s few thousand Catholics being able to throw euros into the collection plate. And he does, after all, have to make political ammends for once stating that Muslims are all about violence.

“Fellow Catholic Turks. It is good to be here where Mary spend her final years., even though it was with a guy, but we won’t go into details of unholy wedlock. I’d like to encourage your bid for the European Union so a muslim nation can act civilly because Turkey is too close to the Vatican and I’m scared. But this is not political…no, ah, it’s more about good relations because, like I said, I’m scared.

When I told Prime Minister Erdogan and President Sezer, ‘Kiss my ring’, i meant the one on my finger, honest. We had a nice meeting and I brought some Holy Crackers to munch on. Its not true, when I dumped a pitcher of water on his head I was baptizing him.

So join me now in prayer as we ask for all western nations to united against the yellow peril. I’d also like a Nobel Peace Prize. Remember to breed, and perhaps Muslims will come onside so we have enough white folk to go up against the dirty commies. I may issue a Papal Bull on this. In fact, the Papal Bull is looking forward to flaring his nostrils meeting young muslim men.

Remember, Deep Integration for the western world is a double entendre, but keep it quiet, will ya?”

*JJ at Unrepentant Old Hippie brought my attention to the Pope’s HOT secretary, Monsignor Georg Ganswein. Nothing like a papal pinup boy!
popegeorg.jpg

November 29, 2006 at 9:23 am 21 comments

Same Sex Marriage…The Debate

cabinetmaryjoseph.jpg
The debate on same sex marriage is on December 7th. As though there should be one, however, it’s really an exercise in seeing how some of the Reformed can bite their fundie tongues. Harper’s going to have a tough time reigning some of them in, but we don’t want them to. They’ll be easily baited and true colours could show up as a palette of bigoted homophobia. That’s a painting that could pull the Con-artists into Dante’s Inferno. Steve’s prepped for it though:

Steve Great! O.k, from the top again. Joseph and Mary, your entry is crucial, it has to be timed when the Speaker takes a break. And can you say your lines with more conviction?

Joseph Well, Mary, I’m sure glad you’re not a man and I don’t have to put my penis in a hairy butt. This way I can put it in your butt.

Steve Cut! Cut! Joseph, we can’t have Canadians thinking we endorse anal sex of any kind. Move on to the next lines please.

Mary Why yes, Joseph, and this way I can bend and bow to the wishes of a man, not some dyke who would know my body better. I will layeth down for you whenever you wish and succumb to your powers.
Joseph And look what we begetted, a babe in swaddlings. Oh, I forgot, you were fooling around with that God guy again.
Mary Never mind, think of all the camels you had. In any case, we are a family and must focus on that.
Joseph Why yes, Mary, and that’s the most important thing, procreation. Did you remember to put blue contact lenses in little Jesus’s eyes and the Michael Jackson skin whitener on?
Mary Yes, Joseph. Thanks for the reminder. Should we go to church now?
Joseph What’s that?
Mary You’re so funny, you forgot, it’s that gathering place the Emperor Constantine invented. Hurry or we’ll be late!

Steve That’s a wrap. Wow, when they said you were professionals Frum was right! The script’s a little over my head but if he wrote it , it must be good. Cabinet, tell all the underlings about this. Dismissed.

*Montreal Simon has a good rant about the upcoming debate.

November 29, 2006 at 12:11 am 13 comments

Famous Stupid People #15

stupidpeoplesmall1.jpg
This time it’s a female. Rules are on the sidebar….one guess per day, one question per day. No anonymous commentors,save for one of our dear regulars, ‘The Anon’.

Past winners and answers are also on the sidebar so you can eliminate some guessing that way.

November 28, 2006 at 6:48 pm 24 comments

Prepping for the Birth of a New Nation

harperduceppebirth.jpg
Gilles:As you see, Monsieur Prime Minister, now that you are in your second trimester it is time to view our facilities. You will agree they are the finest, non? When the baby nation comes out of your mangina, our staff will place it to your moobs. We ensure you non of our staff are injuns, and there is plenty of room here for your security staff and your wife, Boreen.

Steve:WOW! And will my children with Jewish names be allowed in too?

Gilles: But of course! We can also accomodate your official photographer, the one who likes to capture your buck teeth and double chin.

Steve: But he told me those were great shots.

Gilles: Yes, of course they were. I was just making a little joke. Merde.

Steve:What does that mean?

Gilles: It is french for god.

And that’s enough of that! This story bugs me to no end. I guess it’s good in the sense that 800 people weren’t bombed or Georgie didn’t say anything ultra ridiculous. It’s been slow news and that will do.

November 28, 2006 at 12:09 am 11 comments

It’s Official…Quebec is a Nation

duceppeking.jpg
Ah Duceppe! Congratulations. Quebec as a nation within a united Canada, you say? You seem happy with that, proud, Lord knows all the political wranglings behind it….one person says this, you say that, another says….whatevers!!!

“Bonjour, merci, I am happy to take away from the pressing duties of Canada to chalk up some political points for the Bloc. Oui, I could have brought Harper down or gotten our troops home earlier, re-instated the Kyoto and Kelowna Accords, but that would be something for someone responsible, and I would not have gotten this lovely tierra by doing all that.

And now I am please to say I have created a nid de frelon that people like Gordon Campbell, Gerard Kennedy, Ken Dryden, and Michael Chong have voluntarily walked into. Well, perhaps they should wear ‘Depends’ under their pants so they don’t get stung. They protest for all the wrong reasons, of course, because they have no more desire to see First Nations rights followed then me. But it’s a good ploy, no?

Rene Leveque, eat my shorts because I will accomplish more then you, and all without having translated the Bloc’s website into English. Am I brilliant or what?

Vive le Quebec!”

November 27, 2006 at 7:18 pm 3 comments

My Funny Guy is Havril… not Rick Mercer

havril.jpg
My favorite funny man, Havril of [insert something clever], continues his posts of humour about not placing in Round Two of the Canadian Blog Awards. Havril makes me laugh so hard I actually conceded to him before the results were in. Friends can’t understand why I’m mad he didn’t place.

Oh ya, well I’ll tell you why….rather, I will point to you why. Go over and check Havril’s blogpost “Well, not so much staggered as got dragged by a salt truck”. Play the video . Yes, you can now see Havril, part lV on DVD.

For a guy who had 50% of his brain cells knocked out while stealing a skipping rope from grade two girls , he’s pretty brilliant after surviving the beating. And this was only last year.

As for you Mercer, here’s an email exchange I had with him:

TO: Scout
FROM: Rick Mercer, Canadian Celebrity
Subject: Canadian Blog Awards

Dear Scout,
Eat my cod herring piece.

To: Rick Mercer, former extra in the Beachcombers
From: Scout
Subject:Re: CanadianBlog Awards

Mercer, eat my red snapper.

TO: Scout
FROM: Rick Mercer, Juno Award Winner
Subject:Re: Re: Canadian Blog Awards

Your Mother wears army boots.

To: Rick Mercer, Mother Corp. Whore
From: Scout , Bronze medaliist Canadian Participaction Awards
Subject:Re: Re: Re: CanadianBlog Awards

That’s not true, she’s in the navy.

TO: Scout, cameo appearance only in Havril’s video
FROM: Rick Mercer, potential Oscar Award Winner
Subject: Re:Re: Re:Re:Canadian Blog Awards

You eat shit sandwhiches

To: Rick Mercer, former extra in the Beachcombers
From: Scout , twice failed ‘beginner’s swimming’
Subject:Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: CanadianBlog Awards

That’s not true, I don’t like bread.

*Mercer, you’re funny. You’re very funny. Where’s you comment’s section? Part of blogging is reading the comments…a blog without comments is a snog. Rick, I like ya, but you’re no Havril. (this is , of course, in jest and i love Mercer’s blog and see why he is ranked so high).

**For those of you interested in the Alberta Leadership Contenders, Bazz at Oi! Thump! has been putting some good time in to give an assessment of what’s happening.

November 27, 2006 at 11:22 am 11 comments

Power

candle1.jpg
Candlelight casts one of the prettiest glows I know. The ulta in incandesent, it’s warm hues create a seemingly magical illusion, but perspective is everything and the illusion may be the reality in this world lit and powered by damning waterways, firing coal, and making nuclears (whatever they are) react . Best of all they hide the mess and my wrinkles.

Bowen Island is just one of the many communities hit by B.C.’s snow storm, rendering thousands without hydro. We’re fine, the landlord has a skookum propane generator that looks like a heavy duty Briggs and Straton. First priority, making coffee. Second plugging in a portable electric heater. Third, accessing the internet on a limited basis through backup dialup and laptop batteries. Yes we had to do some things out of the norm, like collect snow to melt and pour the water into the toilet tank after we flushed (we’re on a well and it’s an electric pump). And I do admit to missing things like wandering off into the bush to pee….there’s something about peeing outdoors that’s so nice….but the snow was too deep and I didn’t want to freeze me arse off.

It doesn’t take much when the power goes out to think about all the people who live without any on a daily basis. I like my comforts but I’m not so blind as to think being sans power is really ‘roughing it’. We were still warm, had food, shelter and clothing. It is enough to think of all the homeless in Canada. It is enough to think of all those in the world who live happy lives without zapping frequencies messing with their synapses.

Power then leads me to think of power-mongers. What’s with that? The structure of an hierarchy is such that if you wield power above another that leaves a space above for someone to wield power over you. Why would you want to give up your freedom like that? Liberation comes by acting in a circle. We need human power outages in the world.

The power plays over ‘Qebec as a Nation’ are falsely generated. We all know First Nations already are sovereign but the nuclear power plants (there’s those weird little things called nuclears again) go against natural power, the circle is based on nature’s laws and not polyester politics. It doesn’t take guys trying to prove the size of their kajones to state these false bounds. In fact, without false power they’d have major shrinkage.

Gerard Kennedy, liberal leadership candidate has said he does not believe in the ‘Quebec as a Nation’ bullshit, diversion power play. He’s concerned with aboriginal rights and other minorities. This is his powerplay of course, he’s gambling that by stepping away from the fray that delegates will pick up on the popular notion that this is all a kettle of red herrings and will cast his way. In the end, Kennedy, as far as I can tell, is just another guy with shrinkage. Shrinkage and balloon head syndrome….have these guys ever thought about going to the doctor? Good for Kennedy for taking the gamble though.

If you REALLY want to read about governance, nations and all that hoohaw, click on the MNN link on the sidebar. Look up the Iroquois Constitution. If you’re lucky you won’t have to read it by candle light. The IC is the truest form of democracy in the world. it is not a notion that Chief Phil Fontaine came up with, pretending to represent all natives. Phil must have some shrinkage going on too….but a growing bank account. Quebec seperatists could learn from circle too….after all, any plans they’ve come up with to date do not recognize or respect the inherent rights of natives and their traditional territories. A bit like the pot calling the kettle noir. Let’s get off the road of whining and look at the facts. Quebec, you are no more a nation within a nation because Canada is not a nation for it continually undermines its own rule of law regarding native rights. Legally, this makes you null and void.

Now if you’ll pardon me I have to go read the news online, just to see if the world exists anymore….it’s a daily game I play before taking the dog for a walk along the trails through the woods that help connect me to all the beauty in this world. Snow is beautiful too and I’ll really get my exersize today when I walk through the trails to meet a friend who’s going to Beirut tomorrow, having been beckoned to do some spiritual work there. OH OH, there’s that word, spiritual, that makes too many go ‘ugh’ because of the New Age Movement and and so many self-appointed gurus and women in purple robes with silver feather earrings (I make sure never ever to wear any). Some of us who are spiritual say things like ‘fuck’ and dress and act ‘normal’. Never ever trust a ‘spiritual’ person who doesn’t have a sense of humour and thinks power is some little nuclears going off in the ego.

Here’s sending good thoughts out to the homeless, as we call them, the ones who are down and out or displaced because of war or other circumstances. In Hawaiii, the homeless say, ‘Ah no , sistah, we not homeless, look all around, Hawaii is our home, we have a beautiful home. We is HOUSELESS’. Something to ponder because it’s that very attitude that give the Hawaiians so much strength working for their sovereignty. Love is their strength, they don’t use the word ‘power’ to describe their efforts. Love, or Aloha (which is not just saying ‘love’, aloha is spirit, the essence of love flowing through each breathe).

To all of you out there reading this, I love you even though I’m just in the kindergarden of life and love. I haven’t met any graduates yet.

Our power is back on, but if you’ll excuse me I have to fill some buckets with water, just in case it goes out again.

*NOTE, on the side bar under ‘useful links for activists’ is a comprehensive list of emails and site I put together for the Mohawk Clan Mothers. I can be used for many different things. You are more then welcome to put this ink on your site.

Underneath, YAYA CANADA has some more pertinent info.

November 27, 2006 at 9:09 am 5 comments

Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

crystalmethodistsmaller.jpg
“Ha Hoo! I hope this, The Sabbath, is truly a day of rest for you…..”

WE INTERUPT THIS SERMON FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM THE GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES:

Enlistment has skyrocketed by 25% after President Bush’s new ‘Jerk for Iraq Reward Campaign’. Modelled after Skull and Cross Bones Society initiation, many feel the hand of the President will guide them on the right path.

Regular programming may now resume.
bushsoldier.jpg
Crystal: Yahwa directed this and it has my endorsement.

November 25, 2006 at 11:06 pm 9 comments

If Only They Were Normal #15 – The Queen

queenbiker.jpg
She’s stuffy, old-fashioned, and the Monarchy costs U.K. tax payers a mint…yet she’s one of the wealthiest women in the world. Sure, sure, she’s a product of her upbringing, but aren’t we all…and didn’t most of us work to overcome that? So what if the Queen took a ‘normal’ role?

“Fuck the thoroughbreds, I’ve got my freedom machine and the hell with Philip. He’s always been pokin’ the gals anyways. Bloody right, I’ve ‘ad it and taking me hog to a country pub. Patooey, ha, there’s a right good gob fer ya. Put a couple ‘o pints in me and I’m gonna smoke some bitch sticks and yack me ‘ead off bout Chuck, Andy and Anne. Coo, (oops, not Koo Stark), my kids drive me up the wall. Think any of them could put their bloody feet in to stop Blair and his colonist warring? Wanker.

Wot’s that…some freakin’ ‘edge’og road kill? Never mind, that pub’s gettin’ closer and I can taste the bitters already. Gonna write some letters to ‘arper an’ ‘oward the coward too. Right bloody bastards they are acting oh so la tee dah an tough an’ all. ‘ow’d they like me boot up their arses?”

November 24, 2006 at 11:21 pm 16 comments

The FishNet Debt…Be VERY Concerned

falhertyfishnet.jpg
Conservative Member of Cheapness, Jim Flaherty, wants to wipe out the national fishNET Debt in 15 years.. BE VERY CONCERNED.

Harper Valley has just learned that the Harper ‘I’m a Scotsman and I’m OK’ cheap plan isn’t really action to keep the homeless – homeless, the health and education systems a sham, the ill, poverty stricken, disparaged, downtrodden, children and all surviving LIFE IN CANADA as paupers to the princes in power……NO, IT’S A SCHEME TO COSTUME THE MINISTRY IN DRAG NET!!!!

Call Greenpeace, call 911, call ANYONE to stop these people parading while Harper pimps his politics and politicians. They need to be wearing something more, mmm, modest, like Crystal Methodidst’s choice in fashion. If my tax dollars are funding the fundies, I want a say in how they dress!

And Jim, honey, give us a little, ‘Grrrrrrrr’.

November 24, 2006 at 8:51 am 7 comments

What’s a Nation, Steve?

harperindian.jpg
So, Quebec is a ‘Nation within a United Canada’ eh? That crafty Steve, thinking he can appease all. FAT CHANCE!!! Oops, there I go making fun of his royal corpulance when at one time I was 50 pounds heavier. Take public office and you’re a target for anything….especially if your last name begins with ‘Harper’.

There’s one thing Steve and Gille Ducepe have left out about this whole nation, culture hoohaw….and that’s that we’re ALL ON NATIVE LAND!

Steve: Duh’ya. It kinda slipped my mind because Tom Flannagan taught me not to give in to the redskins, they have resources and minerals. But Ralph Klein is a chief ya know, so Boreen got me this costume at Mr. Big and Tall for halloween and I’d like to make some First NATION friends so I can get a real, genuine headress. Duceppe can fudge off for now because the Voyeur, I mean Voyageur outfits aren’t as cool.

But I’m in a dilemna because I need the Bloc’s support and for the country , I mean nation, to see me as strong and vote me back in. Darn, I wish the indian population were bigger so they’d vote for me and it would make a difference…what’s that? OH, most don’t bother voting? But why? This is a great United American nation! And we continue to kill them off…ya but whaddya expect when they protest all the time?

Quebec sovereigntists don’t recognize the inheritent rights of natives but we’ll make sure we force them to….oh wait, we don’t recognize aboriginals either and I tore up that Kelowna Accord thingy. But it was a piece of crud and we can do better by making a few changes by 2050 along with our environmental policy. Did I tell you that Jim Prentice and Rona Ambrose are getting married?

November 23, 2006 at 10:49 pm 6 comments

Taking Care of Business

harperyawning.jpg
(altered from Bachman Turner Overdrive)…no tab for Havril yet…sorry!

You get up every morning
from your alarm clock’s warning
Eat and shake your kid’s hands with pity.
There’s gawd up above
The press push and shove
And in 15 you’ve got a subcommittee.
And if your prayers are done in time
You can get to work at nine
And continue fucking up the country.
If you ever get annoyed
Just shoot the unemployed
Then they couldn’t vote against you anyday.

And you’ll be…
Taking care of business, every day
Taking care of business, the con way
You’ve been taking care of business, what a crime
Taking care of business and working overtime.

If it were easy as fishin’
And you had some cognition
It could make your brain loud or mellow.
Chances are you’ll go far
Bashing gays, women and poor fellas.
People see you talking guns
Just a lyin’ like a hunn
Tell them that you like it this way.
It’s the people you avoid
When you play with war toys
You love to work at nothing all day.

And you be (chorus)

Repeat verse 1 then chorus

November 22, 2006 at 10:32 pm 11 comments

Round One Blog Awards In

ah yes, the suspense for round 1 is over at My Blahg’s Canadian Blog awards. Here’s a breakdown of the top four in each category from ROUND ONE, with emphasis of those on my blog roll:

Best Blog:
Raymi the Minx (317) 8%
Debaucherous and Dishevelled (163) 4%
oRadio (158) 4%
Smart Canucks (105) 3%
* Peace Order and Good Government, eh? (POGGE), still has a chance to move up in the rankings, placing at (81), 2%.

Best Conservative Blog:
Small Dead Animals (128) 14%
The Prairie Wranglers (96) 10%
Stephen Taylor (81) 9%
The Canadian Sentinel (65) 7%
*while I don’t link Chucker Canuk , he’s a good sort and can be seen around at some of the progressive blogs with his humour. He has the chance to make it into the top three with (58), 6%

Best Progressive Blog
Calgary Grit (149) 10%
Matthew Good (109) 7%
Peace, Order and Good Government, Eh (88) 6% (there’s one for the HV blogroll)
The Next Agenda (82) 5%
Abandoned Stuff by Saskboy (67) 4%

Best New Blog
Meg Fowler (168) 7%
oRadio (156) 6%
Harper-valley (145) 6%
Gay Persons of Color (113) 4%
* hey, paying everyone off was a good idea! this one was unexpected.

Best Group Blog
oRadio (152) 9%
Peace, Order and Good Government, Eh (145) 9%
The Stroumboulopouli (140) 8%
The Galloping Beaver (131) 8%
* Pogge or the Galloping Beaver could be bumped up by your votes!

Best Humour Blog
Rick Mercer’s Blog (345) 19%
Raymi the Minx (294) 16%
Harper-valley (194) 10%
The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns (94) 5%
* I’m going to ask for a show on CBC! well, keep voting for me, I won’t catch up to Mercer but he doesn’t link to anyone here 🙂

Best photo/art Blog:
Photo-persistence (132) 9%
Parvum Opus (115) 8%
Photojunkie (108) 8%
Walk This Way (104) 7%
* i confess, i haven’t seen these sites…yet! pathetic for someone who’s been involved in the arts since grade 8…gulp!!!

Best Entertainment Blog
oRadio (157) 14%
Bow. James Bow (82) 7%
Popped Culture (81) 7%
Bookninja (70) 6%
*not my thing, haven’t checked then out…yet!

Best Personal Blog
Raymi the Minx (301) 10%
Resistance to Persistence (134) 4%
Meg Fowler (119) 4%
SheenaVision (106) 4%
* come on, come on, let’s bump Sheena up there!!!

Best Media Blog:
Inkless Wells (215) 18%
Azerbic (181) 15%
Montreal City Weblog (160) 14%
CBC Radio 3 (137) 12%
Inside The CBC (107) 9%
* am i the only one who doesn’t vote in this category???

Best Business Blog
Vancouver Housing Market Blog (631) 59%
My Name Is Kate (60) 6%
Uninstalled (45) 4%
The Other Bloke’s Blog (40) 4%
*ya got me, guess i’ll be checking these out!

Best Religious Blog:
(e)mergent Voyagers (95) 16%
Jesus Drives An SUV (81) 13%
Felix Hominum (72) 12%
Aaron’s Head (63) 10%
*i guess everyone deserves a place….Aarons Head??? poor guy doesn’t know it sounds like shades of haggart.

Best Sports Blog
RaptorBlog (286) 27%
The Battle of Alberta (157) 15%
The Joy of Sox (101) 10%
Nascar Ranting and Raving Blog (77) 7%
*if it ain’t lacrosse why should i bother?

Best Blog Post:
Idealistic Pragmatist: Jack Layton’s sinister mind control experiment (80) 6%
Peace, Order and Good Government, Eh: Fly on the Wall (72) 5%
The Next Agenda: Terry Fox (71) 5%
Nascar Ranting and Raving Blog: A Touching Greg Moore Story – In My Opinion Anyway (64) 5%
* go Pogge,go! The Galloping Beaver still has a chance to move up with (54) 4%

Best Blog Series:
Harper-valley: If Only They Were Normal (184) 21%
Sunshine Scribe: Flashback Fridays (156) 18%
Stageleft: Conucopia (77) 9%
Blork Blog: Of People and Places (74) 8%
* ahhhh! who’da thunk a little photoshopping would have done this? keep voting, i’m scared of people behind me!!!

Best Actitivities Blog:
You Grow Girl: The Dirt (122) 19%
My Dinner Table (76) 12%
Blork Blog (76) 12%
The Silent K (75) 12%
*i’m stumped…what is a blog activity? guess i’ll find out now.

Best Cultural Blog:
Gay Persons of Color (144) 22%
Slap Upside The Head (100) 15%
Somena Media (80) 12%
The Internationalist (70) 11%
*our friend jeff of African Perspective should be way up further then he is….it’s a damned fine site. please vote for jeff and pass this on to your friends.

Best Family Blog:
Postcards from the Mothership (105) 9%
Her Bad Mother (100) 9%
Debaucherous and Dishevelled (100) 9%
Metro Mama (98) 8%
*when your kid’s grown up , well, they’re just not blogs i would gravitate to.

Best Local Blog:
Vancouver Housing Market Blog (588) 39%
The East-End Underground (131) 9%
Torontoist (121) 8%
Freddybeach Cabbie (88) 6%
*i don’t live in these places , so…..

Best Sci/TechBlog:
Off The Grid (107) 19%
Amber Mac (89) 16%
Gecko Bloggle (53) 10%
The Homely Scientist (48) 9%
*well these are going to be interesting to check out….hope they’re layman’s terms!!!

I’m surprised by some of the placings, but asides from having 1. been nominated (and many werent that could/should have been), a lot of it, as we know, is how many friends you can round up to vote for you. i have one friend , an imaginary one, but i did spend all my allowance on bribes to group therapy participants listed on the web. there’s going to be a lot of rubber cheques bouncing around the banks.

It’s all in fun, yet even so, if you look at the amount of Canadian blogs nominated, there’s an aspect that’s quite deep…so many people are not going by mainstream media anymore and the numbers are growing. So good for My Blahg for doing all this work, and let’s all keep on a’blogging becaue it’s more then just a personal outlet , IT’S IMPORTANT. Awards or not, I stay loyal to my blogroll as they’re damn fine people with great blogs!

oh, and keep voting for me, the cracks about rubber cheques was just joking, honest….the money’s in the mail and the paper’s good. heh, um, think i’ll slink out of the room now…..

November 22, 2006 at 3:02 pm 21 comments

Eddie and Lumpy Pick on The Beav

leavitbushharper.jpg
Eddie Bush and Lumpy Harper. Or is that George Haskell and Stephen Rutherford? Take your pick but either way they’re picking on The Beaver again. Yes, let this be a metaphor for Canada….Leave it to Beaver. Without bully politicians we were once the ‘nice country’, with nice, polite, apathetic people. With the antics of Eddy and Lumpy, we sold our soul to become a second-rate sidekick to the biggest creep of all times. What would June and Ward say???

Beaver: Hey guys, get off me.
Eddie: No way kid. We’re gonna make you feel like a goon.
Lumpy: Gimme your lunch, goon.
Beaver: No way Lumpy Dumpy the big fat hairy ape!
Lumpy: I’m telling my dad!
Eddie: You better cooperate kid or…..Oh! Good afternoon, Mrs. Cleaver. We were just helping Theodore up from falling.
Mrs. Cleaver: That’s very nice of you boys. I’ll see you later I have to go for tea at Mrs. Whitehead’s.
Eddie: Give it up, Beav, we want all your allowance too.
Beaver: Wally says you’re such a creep cauze you work at it.
Eddie: Lumpy, noogie the guy wil ya?
Lumpy: Ya sure Eddie, but I’m kinda hungry.
Eddie: Gosh Lumpy, gimme your wallet and I’ll get Beaver’s lunch for ya.
Lumpy: Duh’ya, o.k.
Ward: Beaver, are you all right?
Beaver: Ya kinda dad, but these guys are hassling me.
Ward: Well now, Beaver, time to go inside then. Your mother left a cool glass of water, a piece of chocolate log, and your favorite oily peanut butter. Goodbye then.
Eddie: Come on Lumpy, let’s go get Beaver’s stuff!!!
Beaver: What a gyp.

*It’s almost too ironic how these t.v. characters are so much like Harper and Bush. Check out Eddie Haskell and Lumpy Rutherford.

** thanks to Q from North of Center for suggesting Bush as Eddie.

November 21, 2006 at 11:57 pm 13 comments

One Lump or Two?

harperwolfe.jpg
General Harper cant seem to get over his colonizer roots. I say, Steve, how is it you manage to sneak past parliament on so many things, including sending the army in to try squelch Mohawk Nation land reclamation? Deseronto, in Ontario, is just another example in your recent Canadian Law and Human Rights violations (are you listening, President Hu Jintao?).

Why, I almost called my good buddy, The Queen, to check on her corgies and let her know Stevie’s violated the Royal Proclamation AGAIN! But I opted to make some Red Rose tea instead and munch on watercress sandwhiches, organically grown in Rona’s backyard. I did however, phone this nation’s number one Injun advocate, Jim Prentice, but he was meeting with Dr. Mengele to develop a new strain of smallpox. Too bad because I’m sure Jim ‘The Apprentice’ would have liked to tell someone they’re fired….probably someone in the Department of Indiian Affairs who was wiretapped while telling their sister ‘everything is oh so wrong’.

The ‘oh so wrong’ got me to wondering, because I finally hit on what’s ‘oh so right’. I’ve been thiinking and thinking for a while now of who Steve looks like. It hit me today…..Lumpy Rutherford from ‘Leave it to Beaver’. Now that’s just so damned Canadian, isn’t it, Stever looking and acting like a character in an old tv show with the word ‘beaver’ in it. But look at the guy….he looks like a beaver!!!!!!!!

To make matters worse (or better), Lumpy was a swell-headed buffoon who ran to Daddy when he got in trouble….sound familiar? I dont want to suggest that Lumpy Harper runs to Daddy Bush, ok, I do, and I’d like to suggest that Lumpy Harper would do anything for a ‘Made in the U.S.A. Cookie’.

So Lumpy Harper, quit sending in the army to native territory, even though Boreen finds you sexy in your General Red Coat uniform, and especially stop having them make lame excuses like, ‘They were student drivers in training and took a wrong turn’ when the road was a frickin’ straight stretch for miles. Another thing, try some Falling Rock Pemican Bits instead of Tims!

So, Prime Minister Lumpy, will that be one lump or two to get you to see the light?
lumpyspuddle.JPG

November 21, 2006 at 2:16 pm 5 comments

Older Posts


06-series-gold.gif06-humour-bronze.gif 06-new-bronze.gif Canadian Blog Awards

thinkingbloggerpf8.jpg

<EAward_05-26-08>

gse_multipart16799.png

DONATE TO NATIVE SOVEREIGNTY

Because this is THE number one cause to donate to...until Canada recognizes it must deal on a nation to nation basis with First Nations ALL our laws and progress are impaired by a false system. ANY rights, be they gay, gender, minority, whatever, cannot be solved until we go back to the beginning and foundation of North America and honour the Two Row Wampum.

Mohawk Nation News and the Mohawk Clan Mothers lead the way on legal issues surrounding sovereignty. Please donate , it helps you too by bringing RULE OF LAW to Canada and the United States. PAYPAL

OR send cheque or money order to:
MNN Mohawk Nation News,
Box 991 ,
Kahnawake [ Quebec , Canada ]
J0L 1B0

Scott Tribes post on the fantasic children in a canadian indigenous community with no school who are working hard to get one….a MUST READ. petition to sign.
The Queendom of Hawaii...gifts, clothing etc. to support Hawaiian Sovereignty

normalize26.jpg If the link on the pic isn't working please go to http://normalize.wordpress.com/

Famous Stupid People Contest Winners:

contestrules3.jpg

Winnder of # 52 is Great Aunty Bertha of Ecclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER = RICH COLEMAN

Winner of #51 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = KIM CAMPBELL

Winner of #50 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = RONALD REGAN

Winner of #49 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LINDA LINGLE

Winner of #48 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = ELIZABETH DOLE

Winner of #47 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LIBERIA'S CHARLES TAYLOR

Winner of #46 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = PHIL FONTAINE

Winner of #45 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = SARAH PALIN

Winner of the dastardly #44 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = JUDGE JOHN G. ROBERTS

Winner # 43 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER = ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGAR

Winner #42 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= JANET NAPOLINI

Winner #41 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PREMIER GORDON CAMPBELL

Winner #40 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= DICK CHENEY

Winner #39 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER= ANITA BRYANT

#38 is WC of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= Ted Nugent

#37 is Annamarie of Verbena 19
ANSWER= Hillary Clinton

#36 is GAB of Eclectic Eccentricity.
ANSWER=TONY CLEMENTS

#35 is Bruce of Canuk Attitude
ANSWER= STEPHEN HARPER

#34 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=MAYOR MARIE TRAYNOR OF CALEDONIA

#33 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER=POL POT

#32 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=DON CHERRY

#31 is Ross of The Gazateer.

ANSWER = BO DEREK

#30 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PRINCE PHILIP

#29 AND 28 winner is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER = NANCY PELOSI, GEORGE WALLACE

# 27 Karen of Voyages of the HMS Swiftsure. ANSWER = BRIAN MULRONEY

# 26 Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: PRINCESS ANNE

# 25 AND # 24 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote. ANSWER: HAMID KARZI.

# 23 winner is Bruce of Canuk Attitude ANSWER: EVA BRAUN

# 22 winner is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER: JOHN BAIRD.

# 21 is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER: ANGELA MERKEL

#20 is Liz who has no blogspot.
ANSWER: JIM PRENTICE

#19 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie ANSWER=GARY MACHALE

#18 is Bruce of Canuk AttitudeANSWER= DALTON MACGUINTY

#17 is Jamie of And From These Ashes.... ANSWER: MARGARET THATCHER

#16 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: JOSPEH MACCARTHY

# 15 is Sheena of SheenaVision. ANSWER= NANCY REGAN

#14 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: The Pope

#13 is The Anon of Cyber Space. ANSWER: Barbara Bush

#12 is The Anon of no fixed address. ANSWER: Augusto Pinnochet

# 11 is The Rev of The Woodshed. ANSWER: Donald Trump

#10 is Sheena of SheenaVision ANSWER: Josef Stalin

#9 is JJ of Unperpentant Old HippieANSWER: The Queen of England

# 8 is Ron of Northern SuberviaANSWER=Fulgencio Batista

#6 AND #7 is Q of North of Center ANSWER #6= Felipe Calderon and ANSWER#7=Alessandra Mussolini

#5 is Bazz of Oi ! Thump !. ANSWER= Jane Russell

#4 is BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow. ANSWER= "Michael Chertoff"

#3 is Annamarie of Verbena-19 ANSWER= "Laureen Harper"

#2 is Anon...who shall remain anonymous. ANSWER= "Idi Amin"

#1 is Austin of WildDogRoad ANSWER: Imedla Marcos

Useful Links for Activists

Comprehensive list of emails and sites for Canadian Govt., The U.N., other bodies and agencies

How'd They Vote is a resource site for accountability from
a YaYaCanada link

plus YaYa has posted
Tell Them What You Think
which breaks down the 39th parliament and lists emails.

free web page counters

No Surrender Thanks to Bruce at Canuk Attitude
Series: 'If Only They Were Normal', click on the pic of Steve.

Pages

‘Modern’ Calendar

November 2006
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930