Harper Valley

July 1, 2009

Blogged Out

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , — harpervalley @ 8:02 am

This is the famous ‘ringtone’ vid where Obama is at a press conference to announce recognition of gay and other minority rights.  A duck ring tone goes off from someone’s cell.

June 28, 2009

Brightening Up Life

Filed under: Political Humour — harpervalley @ 9:33 am

June 24, 2009

Caledonia – Napoleon Steps Up To The Plate

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , — harpervalley @ 7:35 am

doug.fleming Batter up, again?

 Caledonia, Ontario resident , Doug ‘Napoleon’ Fleming is tired of Six Nations members reclaiming their land so he’s putting together a militia to make citizen arrests against ‘trespassers’.  Oh really, Doug?  That’s a fine crew you have with you!!  I’m sure you’ll be able to handle things peacefully, as you claim (snicker, chortle, gafaw).

  The little but nasty blog, Voice of Canada, is helping Mr. Fleming recruit.  

Gary’s upset and came up with the idea after a Six Nation’s man set up a shack to protest the state of land claims talks and sell cigarettes on the corner of a farmer’s field.  BUT THE FARMER DOESN’T CARE!  As far as Ernie Palmer is concerned, Gary is butting his nose in and it should be the Feds who come into the ballgame….not Gary and his vigilantes (who are crying for Rule of Law without accepting that Rule of Law says Caledonia and surrounding area are 6N land and 6N is a sovereign nation to be dealt with on a nation to nation basis).

Hey Gary, while you’re warming up to walk up to the plate, why don’t you some remedial courses , like Canada 101, First Nations grade 3, Human Decency Kindergarden, and Show and Tell Preschool?

*NOTE this comes at the same time the U.S. will be launching a drone plane over 6N to ‘look for marijuanna transport’, and the question of why First Nations reserves aren’t being delivered hand sanitizer that contains alcohol, which is helping make the swine flu worse….my how transparency plays a role….harumph!

June 23, 2009

Famous Stupid People #44

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , — harpervalley @ 7:33 am

stupidpeoplesmall11 Coyote of Wondering Coyote correctly guessed Judge John G. Roberts!!!!  Q, you get the booby prize.  wait a minute, ten cents says you’ll take that the wrong way!!!!

June 22, 2009

U.S. Drone Plane Over Canada for Marijuanna , My Ass!

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , — harpervalley @ 5:11 pm

iroquois.drone The headline reads: U.S. Launches Another Drone Plane To Patrol Canadian Border.

The story says the plane can spot a person from 10km away and the launch is being done over Iriquois Territory to try end an estimated $50,000 worth of marijuanna making it’s way through the rez.  

I say: bullshit.

The plane is there to monitor activities like land reclamation and LEGAL border crossings of First Nations from one rez to another which involves passing over the imagined border.  Only the Feds don’t want it to be legal anymore and are engaging in illegal activity by stopping Iriqouis from going over the imagined line.  Good work, boys – NOT!

With all the organized crime in Canada and the drugs like cocaine, heroine, crack and ice being brought in and our youths dying in rampant numbers why the hell would marijuanna matter?  legalize the shit.   collect taxes from it to get on with more important things….like investigating lying asshole politicians.  and the r.c.m.p..  AND the very notion that Canada acts illegally by not honouring First Nations as seperate nations to be dealt with on a nation to nation basis. 

Crap.  Now we’ll have these stupid drones hanging around like giant mosquitoes, along with their chemical cousins spraying all that aluminum dust to effect weather patterns while harming our health.  

And the Iriquois will have more harassment to deal with that’s trying to beat them down.

North America, get it right – THIS IS TURTLE ISLAND.  honour and respect that.

June 21, 2009

Solution to Toronto’s City Worker Strike

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , , — harpervalley @ 11:07 pm

toronto.strike  Toronto’s city workers are going on strike.  No wonder, the city wants to take away concessions like gargabe pickup (hey, let’s contract out and get really shitty service!), and close 57 daycare centers (oh ya baby, hit ‘em where it really hurts).

 Inside city sources say Mayor David Miller wants to see a dump created on the edge of the city with trained babies picking through for treasures like lost watches, rings and collectibles.  A chip would be installed to GPS the tots and make sure they don’t stray.  

Head of the Baby Union of  The Toronto (BUTT), The Friendly Giant, says BUTT union members would only respond with gurgling and chorting.  

It’s expected that once Civic union mamma bears come out of their caves that Miller better run for his life.  Oh ya, Davie, have a nice summer……what’s that, you’re going away?

June 20, 2009

Silly Sunday

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , — harpervalley @ 7:23 pm

harper.standins Prime Minister Stephen Harpoon meets with his stand-ins at an undisclosed location in Sudbury.  Harper’s fill-ins are required to wear red shirts when off the job to promote the war machine in Afghanistan.  

If you’re interested in a position with the Red Machine (a purposeful hijacking of Liberal colours) , please fill out and application, available at Tim Hortons.  

Some of the requirements are : corpulance, pale skin, square head, a nose that grows, shoe lifts and the ability to say, ‘blah blah blah’ sincerely.

June 19, 2009

The Slogan Fits, Doesn’t It?

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , , , — harpervalley @ 9:25 pm

rcmp.devil  Maintain the right?  Certainly the right wing or the Liberals for all that’s concerned.  Our Queen’s Cowboys are trying to maintain SOMETHING and with it’s history of corruption and matters like the starlight rides, they’re not maintaining any reputation save for that of Bad Boys and Girls.

 With the Robert Dziekanski hearings underway, Comissioner Thomas Braidwood said he was appalled at newly introduced evidence – two emails from higher up rmcp saying the four cops who killed Dziekansi discussed using their tasers (referred to as CEW – conducted energy  weapon – oh gimmer a break puh-lease!) before even entering the airport.

So was this the RCMP brass protecting their underlings? Perhaps it was an attempt to conceal what would become world news once again…and wouldn’t that be a shame with Canadian and U.S.’ian tourism linking together to promote one anothers countries? (I’ve noticed posters up in small towns that promote this idea and they use a steel eyed, almost frightening looking rcmp officer for the Canadian side of the poster).  And let’s not forget attracting trade for resources and stability to keep the Canuk-buck up, and attracting investors to a ’sound’ nation that’s north of the 49th.

The world awaits as the investigation is on hold until September 22nd.  Meantime there’s been tears and apologies from federal government lawyer Helen Roberts, but with apology being so De rigeur, who the hell’s going to pay any heed to that??  Lawyers, you fucked up while Dziekanski got fucked down.

Commish Braidwood ordered the usual for new evidence, more delay while all lawyers can go over the materials.  So where will the Feds go with this one because NO ONE is going to believe silly excuses like forgery or mistakes.  The big mistake here is cops have been receiving anti-terrorist training from the FBI and CIA since shortly after 9/11 and are trigger happy.  See where the fear system can strike out (literally) once the brain is induced with red, white and blunder?  

This comes at a time when PM Stephen Harper is wanting cops to have internet access….don’t push it, Steve, and put that strap-on CAW away!!!  Egads, Canada, your growing pains are showing.

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and Those Wacky Bush Boys – Iran as a Playground

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — harpervalley @ 9:19 am

khamenei.u.s.a.jeb.george.bush.iran

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh those whacky (or is that Waco?) Bush Boys!  Here Jeb and George look on at the Ayatollah announces that the Iranian election is a ‘done deal’.  Barely containing their excitment, Jeb and George write out one final ballot to ad to their vote tampering roster.  Iran has been a playgournd for the war mongering Republicans for years now and while the boys are happy to have meddled and brought Canada into the picture, They’re still upset they never got a war out of the deal.  Mousavi just wouldn’t bite hard enough with all the taunting.

Israel is on standby constantly, itching to fire some U.S. manufacured as well as Israeli made missiles.  What better way to test interception and accuracy then to goad a Middle Eastern country into setting off a nuke then cry, “They started it!!!”?  U.S. warmongers are anxious to use Israel as a strategic site.  It’s reported the non-peace Americans are tired of the same old Palestine game.  The boys are going to have to wait though, looks like Iran is only going to go as far as civil strife with the Ayatollah coming in on what they believe is their scene.  

The Ayatollah, meantime, is telling nations like the U.S., Canada and the U.K. to stay out of his playground.  Making concessions to election fraud and proclaiming Ahmadinejad the victor, Khamenei put Iranians at ease saying there will be free access to watch The Simpsons.  The Supreme leader is hinting at crackdowns and warned extremists they may have their karma revoked.

Nice try boys…go rig another election and meantime you can only play with your big toys on remote islands,  the ocean, and heaven forebid, your own backyards!  Jeb, George et al, please go back to playing the board game version of ‘You Sunk My Battleship’.

June 18, 2009

Iris Evans Releases New Album – I’m Sorry

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , — harpervalley @ 11:14 pm

iris.evans.sorry  Alberta Finance Minister Iris Evans (any relation to Dale?), has apologized for her speech that espoused proper parenting as having one parent stay home and not work.  She also allowed how the mentally ill need to be educated so they can be working.  This gal’s got six guns or what for a brain?

In true Brenda Lee style, Iris , a Tory, has released an album with her hit song, ‘I’m Sorry’.   Her lyrics are compelling and full of , er, pardon the political pun but – grit.

 

 

 

(Spoken)

(I’m sorry) I’m sorry

(So sorry) so sorry

Please accept my apology

But Tories are blind

And Mission Alliance is too blind to see

Oh, oh , oh, oh,

Uh-oh

Oh, yes

 

I bet all my stakes

I’m an old fashioned bee-otch

But that don’t right

The wrong came from my crotch

Oh, oh , oh, oh,

Uh-oh

Oh, yes

 

I’m sorry, so sorry

Please accept my apology

But Alberta is blind

The United States of Alberta is blind

And I buy into June and Ward, you see

(Sorry)


Stephen Harper Consults Joseph McCarthy

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , , , — harpervalley @ 9:28 am

mccarthy.harper If Willian MacKenzie King could consult his dead mother and dog, there’s no reason the reports on PM Stephen Harper consulting Joseph McCarthy aren’t true.

 The Conservatives now want to introduce two bills that would allow internet interception….and just when you thought it was safe to have a brown skin on your computer’s face.  Best reCONsider.  

Mostly in the guise of stopping kiddie porn (and hey, i’m all for those sick bastards getting busted), the bills are loose and would certainly allow for more government tampering then we ever thought.

Where will the opposition be on this?  I can hear Jack and Gilles going up the hill already to fetch a pail to water down this Nazi legislation, but as for Iggy?  It’s anyone’s guess where this blue-suited, red tied (outfit sound familiar?) stands.  Or sits.  Or lays down waiting for the next fuck.

June 17, 2009

Conservative and Liberal Marriage Official…what will happen when the honeymoon’s over?

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , , , , — harpervalley @ 9:27 pm

harper.ignatieff.marriage.1harper.ignatieff.marriage.2harper.ignatieff.marriage.3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lord only knows what the secret marriage of Stephen Harper and Michael Ignatieff looked like, but the newlyweds are all happy and gay over agreeing to avert a summer election.  Natch, Stevo probably convinced the Ig that the world will look favorably upon a Canada that is stable and managed to get his little woman to go along with this and save a last resort of having to create a coalition.  Good for ze world, good for ze nation, ja?

Don’t know about you but I like their photo that has Titanic overtones….it says to me, ‘this boat is sinking!’.  And my oh my, what glad tidings this all is with Canadian Gay Pride days coming up and the Conservatives giving $$$ to the Toronto Pride Week  (via mark of slap upside the head).

Prime Minister Jekyll, Prime Minister Hyde

harper-ignatieff I took the ‘mask’ of steve and iggy and pasted each other onto each other.  interesting results with steve on iggy looking the best and iggy on steve looking downright frightening (donald trump after an auto accident?).  After all, at this point they’re both acting as prime minister, and what an interesting bit of chemistry that is!

some negotiations that took place yesterday as the harp and iggy fluff attempt to thwart a summer election (back room deals having obviously been made already….the glibs want more time , ig is obviously waiting till a majority is certain, and the tories are a bit scared).  

SO THE IDIOTS COME UP WTH DECLARING A STUDY BE HELD ON EMPLOYMENT INSURANCE BENEFITS!!!!!!!!!!  WAY TO STALL AND DELAY AND TRY TO PULL THE WOOL OVER THE SHEEPLE’S EYES!  THE SIMPLEST TRICK IN THE BOOK!  

oh really?  and what are they going to study?  that canadians need more ei , longer ei, better ei and that is the answer , bar none.  but no, no, no, the laboratory seems to want to reinvent the wheel while the people sit in petri dishes getting moldy from this stalling tactic.  OH COME ON!   put away the bunson burners or move them under your arse, boys.  cut bureaucracy, create low or no interest loans for small business start ups, and oh dare i go on when the answers lie so easily within?  one more thing….get the troops out of afghanistan…..the taliban/pakistan/nuclear weapon scare is a smoke screen delivered in it’s finest grey to shield the doings of the one country in the world who may actually be the biggest threat on earth, and that is ISRAEL!  

so enough already of the bullshit.  gentlemen, don your lab coats and it’s remedial chemistry for you!!!

June 16, 2009

Just Ask Steve! New Gameshow With PM as Host

Filed under: Political Humour — harpervalley @ 10:40 am

stephen.harper.gameshow The all new, all fun, all ‘everything you wanted in a game show’ – JUST ASK STEVE!

Canadian Primeordial Minister, Stephen Harper is hosting a new game show that would allow contest members to reap riches if they can ask questions that make the Conservative Gala Party look stellar.   The premise is easy:

Come up with a question that sounds pro-conservative, let Steve espouse on the glorious answer and voila, if your question is the best you could win prizes like a matching set of lamps from Sears, or plastic end tables from Walmart.  

The Pilot kicked off with success based on these questions and answers:

1. Q- Is Micheal Igneatiff as stupid as he looks?

A: Simply put, yes.

2.  Q – What really happened to the radio isotopes?

A – The coalition of the NDP, Bloq, and Liberals used them as suppositories for their members, promising them rewards in Hell, that’s right, Hell!  They are the Devil and should not be played around with.

3. Q – Should unemployment benefits be extended to boost the economy?

A – Yes.  For a short while only.  The opposition’s plan to reinstate Trudeau-like measures and the old ’ski team’ tricks will only help places like Whistler, and I HAVE to be PM still when the Olympics are on.  Gordon Campbell and myself must not have our thunder stolen.  Once short extension benefits are in place we’ll slap a 50% tax on them.

4. Q – Should the government be held open, accountable and accessible for economic boosts?

A – Only as an illusion.   Corporate heads will still reap the rewards first and the remaining 10% used for workers.  All Conservative MP’s will have the most given to their ridings with, and here we are again with the 10% solution, the MP’s given slush funds for things like vacations in the Laurentians and anything to do with Upper Canadian Loyalists or the Calgary Stampede.  Part of the 10% will be used to move survey stakes on First Nations reservations and make land grabs for precious resources.  Remember, oil is our short term gain but diamonds are forever.

Simple and effective?  A sure hit and watch for it’s premier on CTV!!!!!!!

June 10, 2009

Famous Stupid People #43

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , — harpervalley @ 9:40 am

stupidpeoplesmall11  Q of North of Center correctly guessed California Govenor Arnold Schwarzeneggar , leading the way for the bankrupt state.

  so who’s winning….Q or Wandering Coyote???

May 31, 2009

Pico’s Bistro – The Pilot

A very very good friend, one I’ve had since grade 3 (heck, just call her family), owns a Greek Bistro in Kapaau, on the North Kohala Coast of The Big Island of Hawaii.  We’re both natural jambones so shot a vid together about two ex-patriot Brits who…run a Greek food bistro in Hawaii.  Together they struggle to adapt to Hawaii but their colonizing roots show through at every turn.   Please note:  my friend, Ros, and I both fully support the Kingdom of Hawaii and it’s reinstatement.  We are sovereigntists, mocking the colonial attitudes that lie so unconsciously in both settler and visitor alike here.

Homeland Security – The Hangover Won’t Go Away

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , , — harpervalley @ 3:03 pm

janet.napolitano 

 She’s one big flip flopper and look out, the border is going to get ridiculous with her at the helm.

May 19, 2009

Famous Stupid People #42

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , — harpervalley @ 8:20 pm

stupidpeoplesmall1    SASSY , of no fixed address has correctly guessed new Homeland Security Secretary, Janet Napolitano, the former Arizona Govenor who drove the illegal immigrants out of State like a cowgirl chasing something good.  Does anyone know how to change the sidebar text, wordpress has changed things around (harumph!).

May 13, 2009

Famous Stupid People #41

Filed under: Contest, famous stupid people — Tags: , — harpervalley @ 8:30 pm

stupidpeoplesmall1  SHIT!  i tried the obvious for a change, thinking it would throw people off.  dang.  so yes, Ross of The Gazateer,      and Coyote of Wandering Coyote guessed Gordon Campbell correctly. 

CORRECTION, ROSS DID NOT GUESS CORRECTLY.  I AM PLACING MYSELF IN FAMOUS STUPID PEOPLE JAIL FOR A DAY.  bread and water please, a double helping.

 

Dang.

 

 

 

YES! Believe it or not FSP is up and running again (for now).  Rules are on the sidebar – one guess per person per day, one question (yes or no) per person per day.  GOOD LUCK!

May 4, 2009

May 12th, Vote Carole James and the NDP

Filed under: Political Humour — Tags: , , , , , , — harpervalley @ 9:59 pm

 Need I say more?carolejamesndpgordoncampbellsoup

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