3rd Annual Vancouver Poverty Olympics

The Vancouver Homeless Olympicks

Taking place in February, the Homeless Olympics will see events staged downtown Eastside.    Dates and times to be announced; game start times will probably be listed as ‘whatever, sometime after noonhour”.

The following events are proposed:

Curling: Who can get the most amount of curlers in their hair?

Bobsled: Guys named Bob will sit in shopping carts and their buddies will push them around the block, yes, it’s a race to the finish.

Luge: Who can spit the furthest?

Demonstration Sport:  Who can demonstrate the best?  Judging will consider placards, costumes, content of written and oral demonstration.

Figure Skating:  Who can run their hands over their own bodies the best without being obscene?

Street Hockey:  get creative to make sticks , a puck and goal posts.

Ski Jumping: Who best can jump over a guy who’s last name ends in ’ski’ , like, Ruskowski for instance.

Bipolarthon:   Who’s the best at ranting and raving?

Naturally we are open to suggestions.  After all, there are thousands of homeless the government is trying to hide for the Winter Olympics in Vancouver/Whistler in totally inadequate shelters.   The games are a reality so , hell, if you can’t beat ‘em, embarrass them

Oh boy, it’s Proroguies and Other European Treats!

Whistle while you work,

Hitler is a jerk,

Harpolini pulled his weenie

Now it doesn’t work.

That old chestnut best sums up Harpolini’s proroguing.  Ya know what, it doesn’t matter that Chretien or any other Prime Minister used it before.  It’s that it’s there in the first place and a PM can use it and does use it…..and what matters is the public is FINALLY waking up to Canada’s faux democracy, er, theocracy, er, whatever the hell this British Adversarial Parliamentary system is that we use and doesn’t work!

It stinks.

Proroguies may not be Italian, but they’re pretty close to gnoche.  So for now, pass the proroquies and don’t forget the sour cream!

Olympic Security (Or: Tanks a Lot)

Oh the boys and their toys!!!  The security is beefing up in Vancouver and area as things gear up for the Old Limp Pricks in February.

For months now the chopper activity in the sky has been annoying, the frigate that’s been cruising the inlet, daunting, and the invisible forces, cameras etc. llike an itch that won’t go away.

Are we supposed to be afraid?  Good question because maybe, just maybe if the public knew how many of the security guards are addicts ‘under control’ , maybe , just maybe their fear would translate to keeping their wallets safe on a chain or in a purse with a non-rip handle that zips tight , tight, tight.  How about the biz of money belts  and those other safety stashes?

This is just so strange.  Ya, of course I know some addicts who were hired but in today’s job market and with harm reduction #1,  and the amount of  unemployment out there, let’s just call it a strange marriage of crack meets tracks, junk meets trunks, methadone meets super dome.

Some guy for the Vancouver Sun estimates the billion dollar security cost breaks down to $60 per canadian, and $120 for every British Columbian.  And for what? So we can watch the world’s top winter athletes compete, while what’s REALLY going on sports wise is all the rich people attending doing a giant icebert schmooze-fest.   Hmmm.

Good luck, security personell…remember, for a salary that’s still under the poverty line and only there for a month, we are depening on you to keep the Three Piece Suit Terrorists IN , and let the tourists back out.

Famous Stupid People #52

Great Aunty Bertha of Ecclectic Eccentricity has correctly guessed B.C. Minister of Social Underdevelopement, Rich Coleman.

You know what this means….that Coyote’s winning streak has been broken!!!tune in to next time to see who places.  My oh my oh my

More on Gordy Campbell’s Homeless Shelters

The ‘all new’ shelters are mats on the floor, non segregated male and female.  I had a candid talk with a couple of workers at this type of shelter and they say violence and sexual violence do occurr.

Great, Gordo, so while you have your olympics (no captial ‘O’ deserved) , which will benefit …whom…Vancouver’s homeless are growing to staggering proportions and you create horror shows for people you deem uneccesary to society.  WAKE UP YOU DUMB FUCK! 

Meantime Gordo’s number one thug, Rich Coleman, goes along and co-creates the nightmare that plagues the city.  YOU two have now made it so the system will be taxed even higher because the situation you’ve made will require more health and welfare issues,  taxing the hospitals, pharmacare and mental health facilties even higher…..MYOPIA be thy middle names.

Don’t fool yourselves, these shelter workers are doing their best to work with nothing and some established ones are now facing cutbacks….how do you cut back what is already bare bones???  The institutional model used equals nothing short of mentally corrosive material for the homeless.  I don’t suppose you, Gordo, have even heard the word ‘holistic’ .  No…that would be stretching things too far, you know, to make these places humane.

WHAT ARE PEOPLE, Gordo?  OH, of course, they are the notch below natural resources which you exploit the hell out of.  Only your cronies and anyone who MAY cast a liberal vote count in your mind.  Such a sociopath the people of B.C. have placed in power….hope none of these voters ever complained about George W. Bush, because Gordy is only a clone in different clothing.

You get what you ask for, Gordo, and I’m sure glad I’m not you.

Calling all Bloggers – It’s Who You Know That Counts…

While I am safe and tucked away, I got beat up by a guy at the shelter I was in (only sustaining bruises).  Shelter policy is that both involved in an altercation must leave…it is for my own safety (after all, buddy boy has his goons in the shelter) , and the peace of the place.   Now I’m trying to get into Vancouver’s St. Elizabeth Shelter, which is mostly gay women…a better place for me.  St. Elizabeth’s has no available beds right now and i’m not going to a downtown eastside shelter, no way, nuh-uh.

I’m also on the list for the refurbished Woodwards building downtown…a mix of market and non-market housing.

If anyone has ANY connections to either place, please let me know, cuz as we all know, it’s who you know that counts.  Sucks, but that’s the way.

In other shelter news, the new one that opened in the West End is mixed men and women, no segregation…..you all sleep on mats on the floor together.  No way I’m sleeping next to guys after being punched and kicked.  This is the way Gordie Campbell is hiding the homeless….in totally inadequate ‘all new shelters’.

All this for the sake of the Olympricks.

Another Day

the vultures have been out big time….’can i have a smoke
?  i’ll trade you a chocolate bar for a smoke…..gimme a smoke….save me the kill….what do you want for a cigarette?  i promise to pay  you back….’

after all, new years came and went and cheques got spent on crack, weed, heroin and booze.  today is GST payback day so everyone should be flush until their $84 runs out, and that goes in pretty short order for addicts.  the booty is getting strange….some of the better light fingers have left and there’s goons in here stealing other resident’s clothes and booting them for smokes or whatever.  that’s low, lower then low, stealing from your own.

it’s not a good crowd right now, too many thug types, hard core streeters who don’t even know ‘please and thank you’…it’s their way or the highway.  fuck ‘em.  not bending to their power trips.

am killing time on the computer, waiting to meet with the manager to go over some resident rights requests.  who knows when he’ll show up.  i hear the back ground chatter….a dog barks and some snarly guy says to the owner, ‘this isn’t an animal shelter’.  she gets peeved and says , ‘fuck you, this is my dog and we’re allowed to have our pets here so keep your fucking pie hole closed’.  buddy who was ticked off shouts, ‘fuck you’ back.  there’s a few minutes of standoff time then things proceed again.

no one will lend hymie a smoke cuz he never pays back so he goes outside and yells up to one of the permanent residents upstairs, ‘julia! julia!’.  a box gets winged out a window with a smoke in it and hymie is happy.

as i type some new buddy is standing next to me using the phone. he stinks.  i can’t quite narrow the odor, kind of a cross between shitty pants and cologne.  that does it, i’m off the computer, can’t stand the stench.

Scout Becomes Resident Advocate

So who’d ever guess?  I end up in a homeless shelter and become the residen’ts advocate.  For whatever reason I’m the only person not afraid to stand up to abusive staff and put the flame under management’s ass to get some resident’s rights together.

I helped staged a small sit in one day…..a fave fellow resident got kicked out, and well, trying to organize addicts and medicated people is a bit of a chore so it wasn’t exactly teaming with people.  BUT because I phoned the CBC and they came and did an interview, I did get management’s attention.

The trick here is not only are there the staff and management, but staff is union (B.C.G.E.U.).  So it could be that in some situations residents may have to start a civil suit (the line between criminal abuse/harrassment/intimidation/ and civil is a fine one).  I’m not sure how Union president Darren Walker reacts to having his brotherhood charged but I’m sure they have a lawyer or two on retainer who handles these things.  The question is, do you also charge management???

It’s a strange position to be in because homeless shelters have years of public relations behind them and a law suit could put a damper on donations…but , so be it if it’s the difference between eating roast beef or chicken.  Abuse is just not acceptable.

MAN i miss having my own computer!!!!  Did i tell you i got conned out of it?  throw a small community , non-addict in with the wolves and it’s pretty easy to be taken by a smooth talking junkie and crack head.  am i growing more and more favourable towards harm reduction – YES!  we’ll never beat drugs by making them illegal. 

speaking of addictions, back to my licit ones – coffee and tobacco.

Extreme Weather Alert

Homeless shelters in VAncouver and area declared it to be ‘extreme weather’ beginning last  week.  this means they have to accept people in despite the shelters being full.  “The Mat Program” sees vinyl coded mats placed on the floor in the lounge , so all the tables and chairs have to be moved back.  bags with comforters, blankets etc. are handed out and if  the mat people are lucky they get a bowl of soup.

it’s crowded, the mat people are pretty hard core, but what else do you do? 

to date i’m not aware of anyone being ‘forced ‘ into here by police , nor forced into jail. 

and we’re  how many days away from the olympics?

How much longer?

The daily challenge is to get out and keep busy , whether it’s just walking through a mall during inclement weather for some sembelance of exercise or going to a cyber cafe and enjoy the freedom of no one looking over your shoulder.

Once my disability comes in I’m eligable for b.c. Housing; the trick is patience and going things day by day.

Meantime friendships and bonds are strengthening and there’s ALWAYS some creep that is universally dreaded. This creates the bond of mutual enemy , so to speak, and breaks down barriers between people who might not normally talk with each other.

Gordie Campbell and his team of thugs now refer to downtown east side residents (homeless) as “colourful”. Ya well ok gordie, you can mask things how you want but there’s more and more on the streets and in shelters every day…people who never ever imagined they’d be in such a situation. Needless to say they are having political eye openers and realizing B.C.liberals are wolves in designer sheep clothing.
The question is , how much will it take for the public at large to start THINKING and switch their vote to the NDP????

Too many still have a glen Clark hangover and don’t realize the party reform that Carole James has brought In. How to stress this , or do
We have to wait for the aftermath of the 2010 olympics for the public to lift off their blinders to wake up and smell the empty coffers?

Rememberance Day and Escape from Alcatraz

Today I got to ‘escape from alcatraz’ and be out of the homeless shelter for most of the day and evening…it felt grand! 

I went with my daughter, a couple of sisters,  to a park in east vancouver to watch the rememberance day ceremony and was very proud of my brother-in-law, Shane Simpson, who is the MLA for Vancouver East Hastings.  Shane laid a wreath and it seemed particularily poignant with so many of the world war two vets gone now and a population of british columbia citizens living in what amounts to marshall law (or war measures act if you want to get all canuk about it).  we fight now to preserve and protect the safety, rights, and common ground that makes (or is that made?) canada a role model nation.  there’s too much that has gone six feet under.

I may not have much for a north american, and i am grateful for food, clothing and shelter (in an institutionalized setting), but take away some of our basic rights and gordon campbell , you are asking for civil unrest.  if you support this man, your self interest goes beyond mere protection and supports the very core of greed.

i’m tired, but a good tired.  we went back to shane’s house and he is an awesome cook.  a shrimp and spinach salad,  oh gosh, i can’t remember the rest of the names of what he whipped up save for the fresh mussels cooked in garlic, butter and wine.   we all felt like fat piggies afterwards!!!!

shane is the real deal.  he grew up in east van.  he knows poverty.  he  is working and fighting for us, all of us, even those who support campbell because in the end shane’s efforts benefit all.    i urge you to support him (hey, maybe he’ll cook  you up a meal   ). 

JOIN SHANE ON FACEBOOK

Where am I and What am i Doing?

I have no fucking idea, really, and perhaps it doesn’t matter save that it’s at ground zero and the playing field is as level as whichever way someone tips the gyroscope.

a friend was up to 1 in the morning helping staff cleanse his room because a new guy came in and despite the sanitation protocol, managed to bring in bed bugs.  then he was up at his usual 5am only to get to work and find there was none that day.  he was fricking tired but they lock the hall doors when breakfast is on so he couldn’t have a nap.

i was an idiot and lent my van to some jerk on the premise of earning $100 as he was moving stuff for a friend.   the 6pm deadline went by and i hunkered down around 11 not feeling worried about the van..intuition told me it was ok.   the keys were handed to me the next morning and i was pissed off and had every reason to be.  so the jerk says to me, ‘we will talk about this when we finish our cigarettes’.  i said , ‘wait, you think you’re calling the shots on when we talk?  wHAT kind of fucking asshole are you anyways, thinking you can actually  boss me around, you patriarchal son of a bitch?’.  he starts swearing and i’m not even going to give him a second of my time because who wants to waste even a second on an extreme jerk?  he was trying to plead what a hard time he had as he got ripped off by the people he moved and blah blah blah blah blah, thinking i’m actually supposed to feel sorry for him.

but he’s a pretty boy and smooth talker and i know he’s lying , just cuz he is…things don’t add up, time lines etc…..so i just say, ’shut up and keep the fuck away from me’ and turn and talk to friends.  the guys are all wound up and hating the jerk and they all want a piece of him.  i’m fine with things, i was dumb to have lent my van, lesson learned, case dropped.

one of the workers comes up to me and starts lecturing me and telling me to go easy on the guy.  i tell the worker i’ve let things go and moved on.  the worker says, ‘ok, i advise you to let things go’.   patriarchal asshole syndrome is rampant.

jerk goes and tells the front desk that so and so broke into the lockers downstairs but it was really jerk that did it so a buddy cuffed him a good one and buddy  becomes a hero that day.  the other boys are being patient and waiting to drop the jerk good.  i can’t wait. jerk had taken my van and went downtown eastside to PROVE to everyone that he’s actually a ‘bad guy’ cause he talks all the time like he’s taken uber life skill courses and paid his penance and thinks he’s everyone’s councillor and friend only no one thinks that of jerk.  jerk now just sits quietly in the corner which is what he should have done in the very beginning instead of making a dirty splash and forming alliances.  he’s done himself in.

i escaped from alcatraz today and am at a coffee joint with internet and am sipping a hot chocolate.

And the Beat Goes On…

I’m still holed up at the homeless shelter and if nothing else, it’s a real trip being here.  There are characters supremeo, the wolves are out for your cigarettes every….minute….the vultures want ‘the kill’ on your smoke, you know, the last few drags.  some you know are good to pay you back, others you charge 50 cents, others it’s like, ‘i wouldn’t give you a smoke if it killed me’.

some are bitching because they got busted taking advantage of the system , but they just can’t see where or how…in their minds it’s all here just for them.  others are working overtime looking for a room, a suite, a job, anything.

there’s the able and the disabled.  there’s the top two floors that are b.c. housing and people have their own suites (the rules say we’re not allowed to talk with them).  there’s us on the first floor and we have to beds and two lockers , two tables and a sink.  there’s those in the basement (men’s dorm) with about 30 bunks and limited access.  there’s those sleeping outdoors behind a building , waiting for a bed to open.

the shit has hit the fan over internet usage…there’s two computers and they are only supposed to be used for looking for jobs and work.  too many have been hogging them for facebook and youtubes.  now we have a sign up sheet that limits us to half hour blocks or two blocks at a time but that’s your limit for the day.  interesting…now that that rule has come in the computers seem to be getting more use then ever.  it used to be fairly easy to boot someone off who was watching  a movie or whatever.  now that the games changed everyone’s using every last minute of their block.   observations of differences between regulations from above and self regulation.

cold and the flu are still flying about and they’ve finally got ‘proper’ masks in, the N95’s …..out with the hardware store dust masks (useless).  typical scenes like the young blonde woman coming in and every man and his dog trying to get into her pants.  the ‘pay for gay’ guy has gone.  one of the most obnoxious guys (i don’t know , he’s schizoid or something) FINALLY got the boot last night.  yay.

i like my buddies….a strong strong bond develops when it comes to survival.

the gordon campbell regime got it’s way with legislation that would see the cops force the homeless into shelter or jail in extreme weather.  the tyranical sociopathic government is perched to instate war measures (marshall law) bit by bit , inch  by inch, till the sleeping public is enveloped.

Armed forces choppers are being spotted from our smoking pit and the narrows had a frigate sail past today…all the security is getting in place for the olympics.

this is civilization?

Shelter Day Whatever

I’m not sure how long I’ve been at the homeless shelter for now.  5 or 6 nights?  There’s trade offs here…the beds are hard foam matts that are just not comfortable…no matter how hard you try.  It would be nice to have access to your room at  all times, but it’s understood that cleaning must take place and that’s a welcome service, believe me!!!!

the meals continue to be good and oh my, the donations are always pouring in with one craft bread place in particular bringing loads in every other day.  yes, we eat artisan bread

Halloween was pretty uneventful, especially with most here down with colds , the flu, or flu shot reactions.  One only hopes not to get stricken and there are hand sanitizers on the wall that are very, very well used. 

Reading about Gordon Campbell and his olympic thugs brings it all home, er, ah, or is that homeless? and it’s great to read about protestors in victoria and other places.  north van isn’t exactly protest city and no one here seems to be tuned in to the protest circuit….when you’re in survival mode , eeking out events doesn’t take precedent.  whatevers.

the sun is shinging…it’s a good day.

The 2010 Old-Limp-Pricks

well, imagine that…no pic!  sometimes what you can’t see is scarier then what you can…for instance, the waste of time and money to stage the 2010 Old-Limp-Pricks while tens of thousands of Canadians remain homeless,  the country runs as a theocracy, rights have been stripped from First Nations, Gays, and ‘brown skinned people’.  

B.C. has instituted what is very close to the War Measures Act by allowing police the ability to ‘force’ (their word choice) homeless people into shelters and jails during extreme winter (yes, we’ve already read ‘Vancouver Street Sweep’ to hide as many homeless and us bums during the five ring fiasco).  And let’s not forget that the cops have been granted the power to enter a house or apartment and tear down any ‘unofficial olympic signage’ (in the name of protecting commercialism, guffaw, guffaw, and what is really tactics to keep protests down).

With the Old-Limp-Pricks Torch having made it’s way to Victoria to begin it’s Canadian voyage , protestors decided not to confine themeselves to allotted corridors….we’s gittin’ serious here and who knows what will happen to anything as innocent again as Jaghi Sing catapulting teddy bears and going to jial?  Does this mean Olympic Mascot ephigy tossers will end up doing time in Mission or Kingston, or wherever?  Oh dear, poor little Todo or whatever the hell they’re calling these anime characters , got burned – hmmm- just like the unrealizing public.

K, time for supper now at the homeless shelter i’m in…good food here and yes,  i’m lucky, because O’Canada, you need many, many more of these.

 

Shelter, Day 3

We’ve had breakfast (cold cereal, scratchy dry toast) and what goes most through my mind is ‘my, how close i am to complaining yet riding on the thought that i am so lucky compared to most in the world’.  it’s a strage paradox to live.

the most excitement here is when someone starts a fight (lots of verbal stuff goes down between the guys but so far no fisticuffs). i had a roommate last night, she came in while i was sleeping, her phone alarmed at 7am.  she was all freaked out as couldn’t find her clothes.  i guess whoever did her intake didn’t explain properly about the clothes donation closet (really, they have some very nice threads in there) and how all your clothes get washed before being handed back to you (a rule i like). 

but, hmm, for lack of better creatvivity this cold, rainy morning i’ll call her ‘ms. freak-out).   myself and others tried to expain to her about the clothing closet but she only got louder and freakier saying, ‘i’m not wearing donated clothing because then i’ll look like  a dirty pig and i have a work experience interview this morning and you guys are all making me late for it cause you won’t give me my clothes back”. 

whatever, have a nice day, ms. freakout…..she just can’t wrap her head around things yet and i hope she calms down, for her own good. 

i worked on a guy’s third degree burns last night and it felt good to be able to relieve him of some pain.  then it was a woman with a head ache from the swine flu shot.  another woman had to go to the hospital as her swine flu shot reaction was severe.  hmmmm.  they want us all to participate now by wiping down the door handles etc. every two hours with bleach….i can’t say if that will really help or not but it is a pro-active approach and really, we need to keep busy here.

meantime, the b.c. liberals have been caught with their pants down AGAIN over olympic spending…they are trying to find a venue for a high falutin’ evening to schmooze with the rich who may be interested in investing in b.c..  my answer is, of course, to have it at a homeless shelter so we can all meet face to face and they can actually see who they’re screwing over.  in other words, civilizatiion is measured by how one takes care of one’s own….yes i’m luckier then a myriad of people around the world….but why should the business community fart out pati foi de gras when i’m farting dry , scratchy toast?

now it’s off to the pharmacy for me to get my prescriptions refilled.  i’ll stretch that visit out to have a tour of london drugs

Gimme Shelter

 OOPS! not that kind of shelter….more da real kine….and so , folks, this is scout comin’ at ya from the north shore homeless shelter in beautiful down town north vancouver.

it’s getting damned cold out and i’m tired and weary from bouncing around from place to place so will hole up here and HOPE they find me housing soon!!!!

this shelter is like being in an institutionalized  hostel of some sorts….save that we get three squares a day.   room accesss after breakfast is only from 12:30 to 2pm (it’s nice to grab  a quick nap as sleeping is kind of on and off as there’s not enough blankets)….other then that there ’s  two computers and a big screen tv that can be on from 6-11pm.

the male to female ratio is quite high , i’d say about 3/4 men, which has me a bit baffled and yet not, iffin’ ya know what i mean.

and that’s about it for now.   more reports later from the ‘not much happening here’ department.

Famous Stupid People #52, Continuued….

she’s done it again!!!!! i can’t believe it…..Wandering Coyote has correctly guessed former prez of Pakistan,  PERVEZ MUSHARRAF.   i think i quit

Olympic Torch Passes Test

The Olympic torch is lit and on it’s way, after mega testing done by sumo wrestlers, Su Shee and Upyur  Goziama successfully did their part for the test run.

While the torch has many miles to journey yet, it will culminate with the sumo boys , after having consumed several barrels of beans (pork was eliminted because of swine flu fears), blow a big one on laser sight line aimed at Mt. Garibaldi.  Mt. Garibaldi holds status as the next , new ski hill in British Columbia.

Test runs went fine, save for a worker who got in the way and now supports 3rd degree burns. Su Shee and Upyer Gozamia experienced minor hair singeing.

VANCOCK committee spokesperson, Gaseous Clay, says the worker is fine and feels honoured his burns depict a giant Jesus on his chest.  The countdown to the OWElympics (thank Alison at Creekside for having coined that phrase) is fast approaching with still not enough money in sight.

B.C. Premier Gordoff Campbell says he will introduce legislation to have the homeless wear vests with the Olympic logo on them and all money collected going towards this mega athletic event.  Campbell will not let Olympic beggars keep a red cent of the take, saying, ‘They got themselves into their mess on their own so they can damn well give back to a good cause”.  Former Alberta Premier, Ralph Klein has been appointed as CEO of the collection committee, while Social Developement Minister, Rich Colemanstove will oversee the lighting of the ass torch.  He warns, “If anyone gets in the way they’re gonna get burned and our province is just not into burning anyone except bums…like real bums, you know , the kind with addictions and mental illness that we will force into shelters”.

喝采 (cheers!).