Tales From The Shelter – 47

November 29, 2010 at 6:28 pm

What the hell is happening these days?  Weird energy is zapping people, and maybe it’s the whole lead up to the Christmas thing, but things are most strange.

Bossy decided to get a Xmas help job and ended up in a warehouse doing work she can’t stand.  When she got her first paycheque she asked me along for dinner as it was the Queen of the Caribean’s birthday.  My intuition rang ‘no’ so I declined.  Later that night I get a call and they’re still at the restaurant but the Queen doesn’t know what to do because Bossy can’t hold her liquor and was splayed out flat across the table with the waiter yelling at her to pay her bill.

The Queen wanted me to come there and help out by walking Bossy home.  I said it was too ridiculous a thing to do (Bossy had managed to speak on the phone to me and sounded like a sailor’s parrot).  It was clear Bossy wasn’t going to listen to anyone so I said to call a cab and pour her in.  The waiter was really loud now so I asked the Queen to put him on the phone.  I managed to say ‘call her a cab’ but he was so frickin’ riled he said he’d call the cops because Bossy was refusing to pay her bill (apparently she didn’t like the pasta).

The Queen was pulling crocodile tears on me and I kept telling her to shut up and listen but all she would do is go ‘waa waa waa’ and beg me to come down.  Right, like walking 10 blocks at night in the cold to deal with someone who was incoherent was going to help.  I’d already taken my evening meds and was having a hard time keeping my eyes open.

I turned my phone off.

The next day I ran into Bossy late afternoon and sure enough she’d spent the night in the drunk tank.  The meal (with the reduced price for the lousey pasta) was $140.00.  Her fine for being drunk and disorderly in a public place was $235.00.  Her reading glasses that she lost while on her drunken escapade will cost $120.00 to replace.

Hey Bossy…you’re like a newspaper, you have lot’s of issues!

Bossy’s tail was between her legs and I let her settle into the smoking pit before gazing over at her and smiling.  That did it, she started laughing and we yacked about it all.  There seems to be a big ‘in the middle’ of the stories as the Queen said Bossy stuck her nose in her son and his fiancee’s business and they walked out of the restaurant super pissed off at her.  Bossy said the Queen’s son asked her what she thought of marriage and if he should get married and she said things like, ‘well, do you love her?’.  WHO knows WHAT really went down?

Tele-tubby two is missing Tele-tubby one so is trying to gab to everyone, and I find I just don’t like gabbing with her.  She whines.  I hate whining.  We watched the Grey Cup together and this is how the conversation went:

Tubby:  what’s that thing the Montreal quarterback has on his arm.  See that thing?

Me: Ya, i see the thing but I don’t know what it is’.

Tubby: There it is again, see that thing, he’s got a thing on his wrist.  What’s it for?’

Me: ;I said I don’t know what it’s for.  Maybe it’s a computer and the coach sends plays over’

Tubby:  Fuck.  My fucking ankle’s still killing me.  Hey, what’s that thing on the quarterback’s arm?”

Me: I told you I don’t know.

Tubby:  ‘Fuck my ankle’s killing me’.

We also have a new woman who is heading fast to get the nickname, “Creepy”.  She’ll come out to the smoke pit, light her smoke and stand there smoking it while starting at people.   I asked her if she wasn’t into sitting and she said she likes to stand when smoking.  Twice now I’ve caught her standing there starting at me while she’s smoking.  YUCK!  I told her that her standing makes me feel uncomfortable and would she please try sitting.  She said she didn’t realize this and would try sitting.  Oh ya, she also stands one foot away from the TV and stares at it.

Some prison dude flooded the 5th floor on purpose the other day.  The cops took him away.  A woman shit in the shower stall in the shelter.  It wasn’t diarhea.  It was done on purpose.

I wanted to press charges against or sue Gordon Campbell and Rich Coleman but discovered that anything said and done in the legislature could not be construed as malicious.  Damn!

The guy who ripped me off for my computer and iphone in the first shelter I was in discovered I was living here and came to visit the other day….lucky I wasn’t around.  He’s playing fuck-head games with me and saying he has an iphone and macbook he won at work and would give them to me. I said I wanted the money and he said ok…then he emails me and tells me his phone was stolen.  Ya right, more like it went for a piece of rock.  So what’s the crackhead/junkie coming around my way for?  Does he delight in this game, I guess so.

I’m waiting for Bossy to get back from the store as she said she would cook me chicken for dinner tonight.  I don’t know why I agreed to it, it feels in a way like she’s sucking up to me or doing her ‘we all live here together so let’s all do stuff together’ attitude.  Good Gawd, can’t she see we don’t want to be with each other every moment???????  I hope to be able to just grab the chicken and run and eat it in my room.  Oh, another reason I don’t really want it is because she’ll ask how it was then go on at novel’s length about how she cooked it and what she put in it and all that blah blah blah stuff that really doesn’t interest me.  It was good, ok?  That’s enough!

My van still hasn’t sold.  Dang.

Tomorrow is another day.

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Entry filed under: Political Humour. Tags: , , , .

Tales From The Shelter – 46 Tales From The Shelter – 48


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Famous Stupid People Contest Winners:

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Winnder of # 52 is Great Aunty Bertha of Ecclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER = RICH COLEMAN

Winner of #51 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = KIM CAMPBELL

Winner of #50 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = RONALD REGAN

Winner of #49 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LINDA LINGLE

Winner of #48 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = ELIZABETH DOLE

Winner of #47 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LIBERIA'S CHARLES TAYLOR

Winner of #46 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = PHIL FONTAINE

Winner of #45 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = SARAH PALIN

Winner of the dastardly #44 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = JUDGE JOHN G. ROBERTS

Winner # 43 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER = ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGAR

Winner #42 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= JANET NAPOLINI

Winner #41 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PREMIER GORDON CAMPBELL

Winner #40 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= DICK CHENEY

Winner #39 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER= ANITA BRYANT

#38 is WC of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= Ted Nugent

#37 is Annamarie of Verbena 19
ANSWER= Hillary Clinton

#36 is GAB of Eclectic Eccentricity.
ANSWER=TONY CLEMENTS

#35 is Bruce of Canuk Attitude
ANSWER= STEPHEN HARPER

#34 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=MAYOR MARIE TRAYNOR OF CALEDONIA

#33 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER=POL POT

#32 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=DON CHERRY

#31 is Ross of The Gazateer.

ANSWER = BO DEREK

#30 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PRINCE PHILIP

#29 AND 28 winner is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER = NANCY PELOSI, GEORGE WALLACE

# 27 Karen of Voyages of the HMS Swiftsure. ANSWER = BRIAN MULRONEY

# 26 Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: PRINCESS ANNE

# 25 AND # 24 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote. ANSWER: HAMID KARZI.

# 23 winner is Bruce of Canuk Attitude ANSWER: EVA BRAUN

# 22 winner is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER: JOHN BAIRD.

# 21 is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER: ANGELA MERKEL

#20 is Liz who has no blogspot.
ANSWER: JIM PRENTICE

#19 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie ANSWER=GARY MACHALE

#18 is Bruce of Canuk AttitudeANSWER= DALTON MACGUINTY

#17 is Jamie of And From These Ashes.... ANSWER: MARGARET THATCHER

#16 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: JOSPEH MACCARTHY

# 15 is Sheena of SheenaVision. ANSWER= NANCY REGAN

#14 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: The Pope

#13 is The Anon of Cyber Space. ANSWER: Barbara Bush

#12 is The Anon of no fixed address. ANSWER: Augusto Pinnochet

# 11 is The Rev of The Woodshed. ANSWER: Donald Trump

#10 is Sheena of SheenaVision ANSWER: Josef Stalin

#9 is JJ of Unperpentant Old HippieANSWER: The Queen of England

# 8 is Ron of Northern SuberviaANSWER=Fulgencio Batista

#6 AND #7 is Q of North of Center ANSWER #6= Felipe Calderon and ANSWER#7=Alessandra Mussolini

#5 is Bazz of Oi ! Thump !. ANSWER= Jane Russell

#4 is BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow. ANSWER= "Michael Chertoff"

#3 is Annamarie of Verbena-19 ANSWER= "Laureen Harper"

#2 is Anon...who shall remain anonymous. ANSWER= "Idi Amin"

#1 is Austin of WildDogRoad ANSWER: Imedla Marcos

Useful Links for Activists

Comprehensive list of emails and sites for Canadian Govt., The U.N., other bodies and agencies

How'd They Vote is a resource site for accountability from
a YaYaCanada link

plus YaYa has posted
Tell Them What You Think
which breaks down the 39th parliament and lists emails.

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No Surrender Thanks to Bruce at Canuk Attitude
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