Tales From The Shelter – 26

September 14, 2010 at 6:52 pm

Can’t help but love how I lit my cig on the Olympic Torch.

Things are heating up, the tension’s mounting as it’s 8 days to Welfare Wednesday and everyone’s broke, out of cigarrets, rolling butts, bumming and eating peanut butter sandwhiches for dinner.

Bossy locked herself in her room the last two days as she had no smokes and wasn’t fit for human consumption.  She came to the pit after Tele-tubby two lent her a butt rollie, and was she whacked out!  Looked like a hurricane played on her face and she announced that she had to go without food as a kid so she could do the same as an adult.

I put together some odds and ends of food, a pack of smokes and a couple of coin rolls, the latter she had handed back to me last month as said she couldn’t get over her pride and pay at a store with rolled change.  Said it was a childhood thing.

There was no choice but to put a note with it all that read , “Dear idiot, when we were kids we could go hungry because we were resilient.  Now we’re middle aged and you’re going to end up in the hospital which will be a pain for us to go back and forth visiting you.  Oh, and drop the selfish pride on the coin rolls because you can take them into a bank for paper money.  In fact, just drop a ton of shit and get over it.  You owe me nothing and I don’t want to hear anything about this”.

I knocked on her door and ran away but heard her read outloud and laugh at “dear idiot’.  It was enough to snap her out of things.  Maybe someone will do the same for me one day if I’m acting all loonie and all.

We have a new prison-chick.  Don’t know what she was doing time for yet but Big Tele-Tubby confessed to having spent a few years a couple of times in the Big House for theft.  She was at the poor people’s dentist the other day and was offered a job as receptionist.  Yay, I think she’ll take it, then we don’t have to hear about her aching everything all day….just at night when she gets back.

Big Tele-Tubby is getting tired of Little Tele-Tubby hogging the t.v..  Stinky lady is clever and somehow the tv on the refugee wing has ended up in her room.  I think our councillor just didn’t want to deal with her bitching.

We FINALLY got a table, after 5 months, and it’s round and not very high but does the trick.  There’s a stainless steel bowl stuck on it so we joked that it was really an art instillation and we were going to fill it up with chips then varathane it over.  Our councillor said it was supposed to have sand in it to act as an ashtray.  5 frickin’ months to get us a beat up table!

Meantime B.C. MLA Shane Simpson has posted on Facebook that Housing and Sociopathic Developement Minister Rich Coleman has shuffled aside a report demonstrating the housing crisis , and had the gaul to talk in a cheery voice that all is well.  Right, Coleman, maybe all is well for your ass and whoever your bending over for or who’s bending over for you, but I’d love it if you had the guts to come and speak to the woman of the 6th floor at the Silly Man hotel because you’d get eaten alive.

I just hope Coleman gets a good deal on Preperation H, cuz he must be sitting about three inches taller than he is from all the ass fucking he does and receives.  Whoopee cushion anyone?

A friend phoned today.  Her husband is in mining with a smaller company and the company is not understanding how the Chilcotin Tribe does not want a mine on their land and are threatening to show up on the road with shot guns.  My friend said she could see how the natives feel but didn’t they understand that mining is a necessity?  I told her she was stuck, like the company…..that we have enough scrap to last us decades and we have lots of alternative methods and materials like cob, straw bale, cordwood, log etc. for buildings ……and as for computers, who says they have to be like we know them, and we don’t really need copper in them…..if a young man has invented a wireless mouse that runs on thermal heat from a candle we can do away with a lot of things…..but we have to be willing to come unstuck.  Ha ha, it will be forced upon us.

I mean, da fuck, eh, we’re not even using compost toilets in the burbs.  Stupidos.

Things are opening up, I feel it, I taste it, something’s going to break soon and bust me out of here.  It’s my time, I know it’s my time.

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Entry filed under: Political Humour. Tags: , , , , , .

Tales From the Shelter – 25 Tales From The Shelter – 27


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Famous Stupid People Contest Winners:

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Winnder of # 52 is Great Aunty Bertha of Ecclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER = RICH COLEMAN

Winner of #51 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = KIM CAMPBELL

Winner of #50 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = RONALD REGAN

Winner of #49 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LINDA LINGLE

Winner of #48 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = ELIZABETH DOLE

Winner of #47 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LIBERIA'S CHARLES TAYLOR

Winner of #46 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = PHIL FONTAINE

Winner of #45 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = SARAH PALIN

Winner of the dastardly #44 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = JUDGE JOHN G. ROBERTS

Winner # 43 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER = ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGAR

Winner #42 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= JANET NAPOLINI

Winner #41 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PREMIER GORDON CAMPBELL

Winner #40 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= DICK CHENEY

Winner #39 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER= ANITA BRYANT

#38 is WC of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= Ted Nugent

#37 is Annamarie of Verbena 19
ANSWER= Hillary Clinton

#36 is GAB of Eclectic Eccentricity.
ANSWER=TONY CLEMENTS

#35 is Bruce of Canuk Attitude
ANSWER= STEPHEN HARPER

#34 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=MAYOR MARIE TRAYNOR OF CALEDONIA

#33 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER=POL POT

#32 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=DON CHERRY

#31 is Ross of The Gazateer.

ANSWER = BO DEREK

#30 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PRINCE PHILIP

#29 AND 28 winner is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER = NANCY PELOSI, GEORGE WALLACE

# 27 Karen of Voyages of the HMS Swiftsure. ANSWER = BRIAN MULRONEY

# 26 Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: PRINCESS ANNE

# 25 AND # 24 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote. ANSWER: HAMID KARZI.

# 23 winner is Bruce of Canuk Attitude ANSWER: EVA BRAUN

# 22 winner is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER: JOHN BAIRD.

# 21 is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER: ANGELA MERKEL

#20 is Liz who has no blogspot.
ANSWER: JIM PRENTICE

#19 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie ANSWER=GARY MACHALE

#18 is Bruce of Canuk AttitudeANSWER= DALTON MACGUINTY

#17 is Jamie of And From These Ashes.... ANSWER: MARGARET THATCHER

#16 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: JOSPEH MACCARTHY

# 15 is Sheena of SheenaVision. ANSWER= NANCY REGAN

#14 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: The Pope

#13 is The Anon of Cyber Space. ANSWER: Barbara Bush

#12 is The Anon of no fixed address. ANSWER: Augusto Pinnochet

# 11 is The Rev of The Woodshed. ANSWER: Donald Trump

#10 is Sheena of SheenaVision ANSWER: Josef Stalin

#9 is JJ of Unperpentant Old HippieANSWER: The Queen of England

# 8 is Ron of Northern SuberviaANSWER=Fulgencio Batista

#6 AND #7 is Q of North of Center ANSWER #6= Felipe Calderon and ANSWER#7=Alessandra Mussolini

#5 is Bazz of Oi ! Thump !. ANSWER= Jane Russell

#4 is BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow. ANSWER= "Michael Chertoff"

#3 is Annamarie of Verbena-19 ANSWER= "Laureen Harper"

#2 is Anon...who shall remain anonymous. ANSWER= "Idi Amin"

#1 is Austin of WildDogRoad ANSWER: Imedla Marcos

Useful Links for Activists

Comprehensive list of emails and sites for Canadian Govt., The U.N., other bodies and agencies

How'd They Vote is a resource site for accountability from
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plus YaYa has posted
Tell Them What You Think
which breaks down the 39th parliament and lists emails.

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No Surrender Thanks to Bruce at Canuk Attitude
Series: 'If Only They Were Normal', click on the pic of Steve.

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