Tales From The Shelter – 15

August 3, 2010 at 11:01 am 2 comments

Drawing the most hoops, hollers and applause...

Today was just one of those days.  I was on the verge of tears , thinking too much about how life used to be before I was homeless but realizing with soft resignation that I was living a lie.  I certainly didn’t anticipate being tossed out on my ear though, and when people talk about what a nice guy my ex is, I just say, ‘ya’…it’s useless trying to explain he has a real asshole side of himself, he’s so private and tucked away from people that I would never be believed.  I was the bad guy in the marriage, that’s how it’s perceived and how it remains with some, especially my daughter…that’s what hurts the most.

Tomorrow is the gay pride parade in Vancouver and one day I would like my daughter to come out of her hate-on for my sexuality and join me in the parade…that would be a hallmark event.  Don’t know it will ever happen but maybe if she ever has children I can snatch them away during Pride and take them to the parade without daughter dear knowing :D.

Things have settled down at the Silly, stupid no contact bans that were in place were lifted and the parole officers seem to be getting it through their heads not to fuck with people…for now.  It’s the age old game of ‘when the cat is away….”.

There’s a new woman, Sara, from Toronto and as tough as nails but sweet as sugar.  She’s on methadone and seems to have led quite a violent life.  She’s tall, big boned, I wouldn’t want to get in a fight with her but don’t anticipate that happening.  Already she’s complaining she will be out of money and food before mardi gras but for now I’m holding my tongue.   Hopefully she’ll know not to hit us gals up because she’s not going to get very far.  It’s not our fault we live below poverty wages, not our faults we have mental illnesses or were battered women trying to get on our feet again, or addicts who are trying damn hard to stay clean.  But every now and then you get a gal passing through who thinks the world owes them a living and that her neighbours, us, are part of that world.  Nuh uh.

Retarded Martha seems to be taking a break from her beau, young Colleen is getting too big for her britches, old Colleen is wanting this to be like a regular apartment building where we have suppers together on our floor (Fergit it, we live too close together as it is).  Marie is still dealing with immigration and sourcing out people with pot on the go to suit her rasta criteria.

I’m tired of everyone here.  I go onto the smoking deck armed with my iphone and earplugs.  Often times this is a decoy, I’m not really listening to music, I’m faking it and choose who I want to talk with and when.  The smoking deck is a place to hold court or shine with story telling, it’s the stage for the woman’s sixth floor …the acts are tiresome and the court holding boring as there’s no equal air time hence no conversing, the person on their soapbox is asking questions of people then analyzing and commenting on their thoughts or behavior and big Colleen rules at this.

I’m tired of my bicycle being tampered with in the wee hours, especially the other day when some fuckass loosened the quick release on my front wheel.  Off I took riding and the wheel started wobbling and yes, I could have fallen off into traffic. I’ve filled out an incident report but the guy who decides whether to review the video tapes is not in my favour as I won’t even look at his bitch-ass wife, the one who wouldn’t give me an extension to the shelter after my 30 days then had the nerve to tell me to ‘collect myself’ when i started crying.  Hubby is a chaplain (i think they get this title through correspondance) and made it clear from the beginning he agreed with his wife, that i was some sort of scum or something and pretended to write my name down on the roster to volunteer for the Sun Run.  Asshat, I showed up anyways and went to work.

Despite the fatigue and hating my living circumstances I am feeling cocooned here….safe….and that makes my living conditions somewhat stable, therefore making my mental health more stable.  Vancouver needs more of these facilities….despite everything that’s ‘oh so wrong’ about the building it’s a modern piece of architecture that’s clean as opposed to some converted downtown east side roach ridden hotel with a dozen layers of paint on the wall.  We feel better with the likes of this , though facade it may be, it makes a difference.

Oh ya, I went to Pride…it was fun.  After all, this is Canada, n’est pas?

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Entry filed under: Political Humour. Tags: , , , .

Tales From The Shelter – 14 Tales From The Shelter – 16

2 Comments

  • 1. Berg  |  August 4, 2010 at 9:51 am

    Hi W. You might seriously consider collecting Tales from the Shelter (Tales from the Silly?) for publication. You write wonderfully. Lots of dark and light and shadings. I can envision a kind of Kerouac, On the Road memoir. More… Naked Lunch, Howl, Electric Acid Kool-Aid Test…

    You are held in hearts.

  • 2. harpervalley  |  August 7, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    oh my gawd, i just watched naked lunch!!!!!! that goes beyond david lynch, for sure. loved it. thanks for the boost of confidence, steve….love ya, steve, and keep on with your writings, which could be collected and published 😀


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