Tales From the Shelter – 3

May 30, 2010 at 5:49 pm

MARBLEGATE

‘Retarded Martha Stewart” drives everyone up the wall.  Everyone.  Besides her incessant chatter and talking ‘at you’ not ‘with you’, she preaches about ‘her personal gawd’ …she’s a christian bot, and under all her superficiality is one sick puppy.

I bought some marbles from the dollar store with my last pay cheque…i don’t have substance abuse problems so can stretch my cheque a little further then some.  Marble.  Good fun, reminder of youth , recalling cat-eyes, steelies and the such.  I placed them outside on a table on the smoking deck.  the table was make-shift….Retarded Martha had an empty , black plant pot out there that looked like a cremation urn.  A fake silver tray made the table top.  There the marbles sat.

The next morning I came out for my constitutional smokes and the ashtray was gone, along with the marbles.  I lifted the silver tray and there was the ashtray.  After lifting the ashtray up , there were the marbles mixed in with cigarette buts…a dirty little mess.

Someone tipped me off that Martha had done this while muttering something about ‘people’s crap’, so i confronted her.  Martha’s eye go total bug when she’s afraid or on the defense.  I’m thinking it must be an allergic reaction to her perfume, which smells like insect repellant.  She told me Doreen had done it, I said bullshit, and Martha said to bring Doreen right to her.

retarded martha spends her days walking.  She walks from downtown to west vancouver or kerrisdale, the neighbourhood she brags having lived in (some kinda living, she looked after an old man, moved herself in, took over, and the daughter had to have her removed).  nevertheless, kerrisdale is her ‘mark’, her status, albeit a false one.  Martha goes into high end hotels en route and gets free coffees and hones in on special lunches, pretending she’s a guest.  she gets very aggressive and i’m sure the quest host people give her stuff just to keep her quiet.  She was going to a travel service business everyday that offers it’s clients free coffee….they finally got tired of her and started charging her a dollar so she quit.  I can see her there though, sitting with her legs crossed, her bleached blonde hair taking over the room, and giant teeth ready to chomp anything.

i see her rattling on to the clients and workers, “you know, i worked through something yesterday and my god forgave me .  And that’s ok, you know, because i remember my chaplain reading a bible passage’ …………and on and on and on.

I told our ward’s supervisor about marblegate and she was holding her seething in.  I informed her I told martha i am not speaking to her and to never speak to me.  The supervisor said to leave it at that.  Ever since, Martha can’t help herself and her guilt comes out in a heartfelt voice with things like, “hello, scout’  or ‘i’m sorry i hurt you, scout’.  hurt?  nuh uh, i got a demonstration in her sickness and don’t want to be around it, that’s all, pretty simple call if you ask me.  But Martha continues to perplex our floor.  She saunters onto the deck while everyone’s talking about something , wanting to know if we can see her bra under her top.  Or her panties under her shorts.  Or she wears her white dressing gown and sits with her legs up, secretly moving the housecoat back and down to expose as much thigh as she can.  why….to us?

the table and chairs on the patio belonged to martha and in a snit over marble gate she removed them and took them to her room.  it was hideous watching her wrestle with one of the white plastic chairs , brining it out from her room onto the deck so she could sit on it while she smoked, then bringing it back in with her when she was done.  it was like the kid in grade one who always had to bring some huge thing to show and tell.

martha came out to the deck yesterday while i was discussing stephen harper’s move to host an international conference on women and children and divulge that canada would not give monetary support for abortions in developing nations.  i said i would like to see mr. harper adopt some children from one of these nations….he’s rich, he could take in about 10 or so, right?  I mean really, what does Laureen have to do besides addressing oppressive ‘real women’ groups and being a manequin in helping to strip our rights?   martha got up, i’m sure she went to the chapel to pray for me.

everything’s all complicated right now with some women moving out to Hope House, the Armie’s next housing stage.  It’s bachelor digs, downtown eastside , and not QUITE all independant living as it’s high barrier and i’m told some of the front desk clerks can be nazis.

My marbles are back on the deck for anyone to play with. Martha, stay away!

The supervisor has moved Martha’s volunteer duties to another floor in an attempt to sqelch an all out war against this sick piece of work.  Life by rote must be difficult and I’m sorry she’s this insecure and probably had a shitty childhood and all but comes a point and I ain’t gonna let her put her illlness on me.  Marbles over Martha anyday.

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Entry filed under: Political Humour. Tags: , , , .

Tales From the Shelter – 2 Tales From The Shelter – 4


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Famous Stupid People Contest Winners:

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Winnder of # 52 is Great Aunty Bertha of Ecclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER = RICH COLEMAN

Winner of #51 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = KIM CAMPBELL

Winner of #50 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = RONALD REGAN

Winner of #49 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LINDA LINGLE

Winner of #48 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = ELIZABETH DOLE

Winner of #47 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LIBERIA'S CHARLES TAYLOR

Winner of #46 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = PHIL FONTAINE

Winner of #45 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = SARAH PALIN

Winner of the dastardly #44 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = JUDGE JOHN G. ROBERTS

Winner # 43 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER = ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGAR

Winner #42 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= JANET NAPOLINI

Winner #41 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PREMIER GORDON CAMPBELL

Winner #40 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER= DICK CHENEY

Winner #39 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER= ANITA BRYANT

#38 is WC of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= Ted Nugent

#37 is Annamarie of Verbena 19
ANSWER= Hillary Clinton

#36 is GAB of Eclectic Eccentricity.
ANSWER=TONY CLEMENTS

#35 is Bruce of Canuk Attitude
ANSWER= STEPHEN HARPER

#34 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=MAYOR MARIE TRAYNOR OF CALEDONIA

#33 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER=POL POT

#32 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=DON CHERRY

#31 is Ross of The Gazateer.

ANSWER = BO DEREK

#30 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PRINCE PHILIP

#29 AND 28 winner is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER = NANCY PELOSI, GEORGE WALLACE

# 27 Karen of Voyages of the HMS Swiftsure. ANSWER = BRIAN MULRONEY

# 26 Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: PRINCESS ANNE

# 25 AND # 24 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote. ANSWER: HAMID KARZI.

# 23 winner is Bruce of Canuk Attitude ANSWER: EVA BRAUN

# 22 winner is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER: JOHN BAIRD.

# 21 is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER: ANGELA MERKEL

#20 is Liz who has no blogspot.
ANSWER: JIM PRENTICE

#19 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie ANSWER=GARY MACHALE

#18 is Bruce of Canuk AttitudeANSWER= DALTON MACGUINTY

#17 is Jamie of And From These Ashes.... ANSWER: MARGARET THATCHER

#16 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: JOSPEH MACCARTHY

# 15 is Sheena of SheenaVision. ANSWER= NANCY REGAN

#14 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: The Pope

#13 is The Anon of Cyber Space. ANSWER: Barbara Bush

#12 is The Anon of no fixed address. ANSWER: Augusto Pinnochet

# 11 is The Rev of The Woodshed. ANSWER: Donald Trump

#10 is Sheena of SheenaVision ANSWER: Josef Stalin

#9 is JJ of Unperpentant Old HippieANSWER: The Queen of England

# 8 is Ron of Northern SuberviaANSWER=Fulgencio Batista

#6 AND #7 is Q of North of Center ANSWER #6= Felipe Calderon and ANSWER#7=Alessandra Mussolini

#5 is Bazz of Oi ! Thump !. ANSWER= Jane Russell

#4 is BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow. ANSWER= "Michael Chertoff"

#3 is Annamarie of Verbena-19 ANSWER= "Laureen Harper"

#2 is Anon...who shall remain anonymous. ANSWER= "Idi Amin"

#1 is Austin of WildDogRoad ANSWER: Imedla Marcos

Useful Links for Activists

Comprehensive list of emails and sites for Canadian Govt., The U.N., other bodies and agencies

How'd They Vote is a resource site for accountability from
a YaYaCanada link

plus YaYa has posted
Tell Them What You Think
which breaks down the 39th parliament and lists emails.

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No Surrender Thanks to Bruce at Canuk Attitude
Series: 'If Only They Were Normal', click on the pic of Steve.

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