The Vancouver Homeless Olympicks

January 28, 2010 at 8:34 am 4 comments

Taking place in February, the Homeless Olympics will see events staged downtown Eastside.    Dates and times to be announced; game start times will probably be listed as ‘whatever, sometime after noonhour”.

The following events are proposed:

Curling: Who can get the most amount of curlers in their hair?

Bobsled: Guys named Bob will sit in shopping carts and their buddies will push them around the block, yes, it’s a race to the finish.

Luge: Who can spit the furthest?

Demonstration Sport:  Who can demonstrate the best?  Judging will consider placards, costumes, content of written and oral demonstration.

Figure Skating:  Who can run their hands over their own bodies the best without being obscene?

Street Hockey:  get creative to make sticks , a puck and goal posts.

Ski Jumping: Who best can jump over a guy who’s last name ends in ‘ski’ , like, Ruskowski for instance.

Bipolarthon:   Who’s the best at ranting and raving?

Naturally we are open to suggestions.  After all, there are thousands of homeless the government is trying to hide for the Winter Olympics in Vancouver/Whistler in totally inadequate shelters.   The games are a reality so , hell, if you can’t beat ’em, embarrass them 😀

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Entry filed under: Political Humour. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

Oh boy, it’s Proroguies and Other European Treats! 3rd Annual Vancouver Poverty Olympics

4 Comments

  • 1. Wandering Coyote  |  January 28, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    LOL! I love this!

  • 2. stephen  |  February 4, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Funny and sad. Stay well dear satirical virtuoso.

  • 3. Anonymous  |  February 8, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    coyote and stephen……i went for a bit….there was a mini parade with all sorts of clever signs, a carnival band, blah blah blah. then the band got up on stage, did a few songs, instroduced ‘itchy the bed bug’ and ‘crawly the rat’….they were pretty amusing and crunchy the cockroach came along a little while later.

    one ‘sport’ they had was the woman’s hurdle, it was quite hilarious as various characters assumed differening homeless or poverty roles and pit themselves up againgst bitchy bureaucrats. all the while the shameful statistics of this province would be read in between scenes.

    it was a pretty cool event and i hope there won’t be a fourth year because we kicked campbell out and things got good. hmm.

  • 4. Nirpi  |  February 9, 2010 at 5:01 am

    Finland will win the spitting, I’m sure of that!

    But, I used to think that there´s no bigger problems in Canada and everything´s nice and fine there. You opened my eyes. It’s sad to know that so many people are without home in Vancouver.


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