Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

June 16, 2007 at 11:37 pm 12 comments

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Ha hoo! Parishioners! Today’s sermon is from Battle Star Galactica 5:23. “For remember, first and foremost, we are colonizers looking for Kobol. If we can’t find Kobol, we’ll create it. Yay though our enemies The Cylon Alliance disguises themselves as Left Wing, Center, Gays, Indians, blue-collar, rainbow children, Goddess worshipping heathen pagan slovenly savage souls, we shall not falter.

Yay though I have walked through the valley of death I feared not because I carried a big wand. Thy rod and thy staff penetrateth me (men say: I bendeth over). Away in a manger, Good King Wensalasass sang Noel while shepards washed their socks by night.

For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever, amen.”

Now, I’ll leave you with that and must dash off to 24 Sussex (Stephen and Boreen want to change it to Susabstanence). Please tidy up after and no dipping in the plate…and I mean you in particular, JJ!

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Entry filed under: Battleship, Crystal Methodist, Galactica, Sermon, Stephen and Laureen Harper, Sunday.

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12 Comments

  • 1. jj  |  June 17, 2007 at 8:19 am

    Plate? I thought that was my tip jar. My bad!

  • 2. Wandering Coyote  |  June 17, 2007 at 9:22 am

    I am disturbed by your big wand.

  • 3. harpervalley  |  June 17, 2007 at 10:12 am

    now now jj…you are not waitressing for gawd! please say 3 hail mary’s.

    coyote…but, but look at all the magic i’m helping perform with it! xtian ways shall rule. please write a letter of confession to Father Harper.

  • 4. sheena  |  June 17, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Off topic, but yesterday El Chaperone and I were lucky to be invited to a pre-screening of an almost-finished documentary done by a neighbourhood acquaintance. It’s a series of interviews with survivors of the Residential Schools program. Done in memory of the filmmakers grandmother from Sioux Lookout. Very moving. Would have been a tear jerker if I wasn’t around other people. She (Nadia McLean) is just finalizing a few things and will be launching shortly. Will keep you posted.

  • 5. harpervalley  |  June 17, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    sheena, thank you. what they did to those people was unfathomable. i do hands on healing at the elders center on a reservation near here. many stalwart elders that were very traumatized. horrible stories!

  • 6. sheena  |  June 17, 2007 at 6:55 pm

    This is the flick. Growing up in Winnipeg, it is clear now that what I encountered in back alleys and Main Street flophouses were the shattered remnants of the lives disrupted. The lack of awareness is stunning. I am so thankful she’s done this. She is lovely and talented and I feel honoured to have met her.

    http://www.trentu.ca/academic/nativestudies/In_Women_Sympose/ws_performances.htm

  • 7. sassy  |  June 17, 2007 at 7:31 pm

    Crystal Methodist – are you sure the collection plate is not for JJ? (have a look at JJ’s blog, it is a service to personkind) – – whatever you do keep the “Plate” away from SH – as he will just waste it on really dumb and offensive advertising.

    Sheena – I followed your link. Thanks for the tip.

  • 8. harpervalley  |  June 17, 2007 at 10:17 pm

    sassy….my, i , i don’t know what to say about accusing our PM of such frivolity! i assure you, he hands out cheap gifts to dignitaries, dresses down by shopping at walmart and winners, and his advertsing like the ‘new government of canada’ is VERY important….jack lord would want it. and OH, that JJ! i personally called the government to monitor her site…sinner, she’s a sinner!

    ya, thanks sheena….i think any ‘back alley’ person had a lot of trauma in their lives, no matter what race…natives are a visible minority though so let’s keep that in mind. there are many rez school survivors living what we’d call ‘normal’ lives but who struggle in different ways other then addiction to hide their pain.

    obsessive/compulsive, rigid or slack, depressed, low esteem….just not living up to potential or anxiety disorders etc.. to think the last rez school closed in the early 90’s !!!!!!! all a part of the continuuing genocide when the feds come up with a cheapskate payout scam. the kelowna accord could have done so much to help. now this false ‘new deal’ that harper and fontaine think will please the masses is such a joke – they must really think first nations are stupid!

    i hope this film makes it’s way out west.

  • 9. Q  |  June 18, 2007 at 4:38 am

    You must know Reverend Ben Dover or Phil McCrackin? All good Zions.

    Nothing excites the flock like the big staff. muahaha

  • 10. sassy  |  June 18, 2007 at 5:34 am

    … don’t know what to say about accusing our PM of such frivolity!

    Have a peek at http://darrendrmcewen.blogspot.com/2007/06/we-gonna-party-like-we-millionaires.html – and you tell me. Twenty million for a party!

  • 11. jj  |  June 18, 2007 at 9:23 am

    sassy – crystal methodist is all too familiar with my blog… her alterego, scout is my fairy blogmother (first person to ever leave a comment way back when I first started):D

    Thanks for another great sermon, crystal methodist. Hopefully it’ll keep me on the road of piousness and purity for another few… seconds.

  • 12. harpervalley  |  June 19, 2007 at 1:52 am

    sassy….crystal will remain in denial until her dying days. she’ll excuse any monies spent for a party and remain convinced that the ‘tingly sensations’ she gets when near Boreen are a sign of something great from gawd.

    jj….i’m surprised crystal hasn’t turned your blog in to the rcmp….wait, you’re getting those government visitors, perhaps she did!!! i’m sure crystal’s words of wisdom will have kept you ‘right’ for a nanno second. keep going to the C&AM church though…you never know if they might convert you 🙂 ….fairy blogmother….gooder!


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