From Harpermint Hill
“Fellow Canadians, Quebecers and Albertans. Boreen, Roachel, Bin and myself wish you Glad Tidings on this Holy Day of the birth of the white skinned, blue-eyed Jesus (even though our calendar is way off from back then). I will continue to govern as the Babe in Swaddlings wishes me to and work our way towards the rapture (we’re creating it because the Bible told us so).
Once we have wiped out the earth to prove we are right, we will, er, um, well, I guess we’ll be in heaven and all you heathens will be in hell. It’s not that we want to destroy earth, it’s because we have to. We’re not insecure, honest.
Merry Christmas from Harper Corp.