Left Behind, Eternal Farces

December 14, 2006 at 11:21 am 7 comments

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Left Behind, Eternal Forces, is a new video game marketed to the XstianLot right. It’s a game of violence about the rapture, where players can regain lost points for unnessesary killing by stopping for prayer time. Good grief, Charlie Brown Christ!

Critics are calling for it’s removal from stores like Walmart, who are refusing (even though they pulled the book on teen lesbian sex).

Get this: ‘Combatants on one side pause for prayer, and their favoured interjection is “Praise the Lord.”….and…’The game’s story line game begins after the rapture, when most Christians are transported to heaven. Earth’s remaining population is faced with a choice of joining or combatting the Antichrist, as embodied by a force called the Global Community Peacekeepers that seeks to impose one-world government.’

Clever marketing on the title, n’est pas? I think I’ll invent a video game called ‘Left Behind, Right Arses’. It will involve the ‘good side’ scoring points for mooning politicians. If you get caught you get yer butt tatooed, something nice like a coloured star. If you succeed the ‘right guy’ turns into a giant sphincter with hemmaroids. Hmm, maybe I should call it ‘True Colours’.

Anyone out there know how to do computer game programming?

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Entry filed under: Christian, Left Behind Eternal Forces, Stupid, video games.

I Made It!!!! Sacred Spot

7 Comments

  • 1. Red Jenny  |  December 14, 2006 at 1:07 pm

    Reminds me of that Simpson’s episode where they play “Billy Graham’s Bible Blaster”

    Rod: Keep firing; convert the heathens!
    [cut to a pixilated video screen. Heathens cross the
    street, as a Bible gun shoots the Holy Book at them. When
    a heathen gets hit, he turns into a conservatively dressed
    man with a halo]
    [cut back to the boys]
    Bart: Got him!
    Rod: No, you just winged him and made him a Unitarian.
    Todd: Look out, Bart! A gentle Baha’i!
    [cut back to the video screen. A Baha’i, sitting cross-
    legged and wearing a turban, floats past. Bart zaps him,
    and turns him into another suit-wearing conservative]
    [cut back to the boys]
    Bart: All right! Full conversion! [puts his arms around Rod
    and Todd] Thanks guys, this really cheered me up.
    Video: Second Coming! Reload, reload!

  • 2. harpervalley  |  December 14, 2006 at 3:48 pm

    hey red jenny, welcome! i missed that episode, damn. thanks for posting it though….that about tums it up!!!

  • 4. Bill-Muskoka  |  December 15, 2006 at 9:13 pm

    I can’t wait for them to leave so we can get back to the true teachings of Christ and Mohammed…Peace and respect towards our fellow human beings and the beautiful planet we were blessed with.

  • 5. sn  |  December 16, 2006 at 6:18 am

    this is sooooo scary…. being someone who’s never had any religion and from a people who in general aren’t interested in religion (they rather save all the energy to making money :P), i always find it hard to understand why christians have such an extreme urge to convert others against others’ will. the world is less peaceful when we keep having rulers like bush to control the world.

  • 6. Red Jenny  |  December 22, 2006 at 8:13 am

    oh oh, check out the prayer requests sent out by the game developers in Matt Taibbi’s article

    This is the best: “Pray God will put it on the heart of the consumers to purchase our product at select Walamart [sic] Stores (top 100 stores) that have our invetory [sic].”

  • 7. sjrnyc  |  January 22, 2007 at 9:32 am

    This statement is posted from an employee of Left Behind Games on behalf of Troy Lyndon, our Chief Executive Officer.

    There has been in incredible amount of MISINFORMATION published in the media and in online blogs here and elsewhere.

    Pacifist Christians and other groups are taking the game material out of context to support their own causes. There is NO “killing in the name of God” and NO “convert or die”. There are NO “negative portrayals of Muslims” and there are NO “points for killing”.

    Please play the game demo for yourself (to at least level 5 of 40) to get an accurate perspective, or listen to what CREDIBLE unbiased experts are saying after reviewing the game at http://www.leftbehindgames.com/pages/controversy.htm

    Then, we’d love to hear your feedback as an informed player.

    The reality is that we’re receiving reports everyday of how this game is positively affecting lives by all who play it.

    Thank you for taking the time to be a responsible blogger.


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