Same Sex Marriage…The Debate

November 29, 2006 at 12:11 am 13 comments

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The debate on same sex marriage is on December 7th. As though there should be one, however, it’s really an exercise in seeing how some of the Reformed can bite their fundie tongues. Harper’s going to have a tough time reigning some of them in, but we don’t want them to. They’ll be easily baited and true colours could show up as a palette of bigoted homophobia. That’s a painting that could pull the Con-artists into Dante’s Inferno. Steve’s prepped for it though:

Steve Great! O.k, from the top again. Joseph and Mary, your entry is crucial, it has to be timed when the Speaker takes a break. And can you say your lines with more conviction?

Joseph Well, Mary, I’m sure glad you’re not a man and I don’t have to put my penis in a hairy butt. This way I can put it in your butt.

Steve Cut! Cut! Joseph, we can’t have Canadians thinking we endorse anal sex of any kind. Move on to the next lines please.

Mary Why yes, Joseph, and this way I can bend and bow to the wishes of a man, not some dyke who would know my body better. I will layeth down for you whenever you wish and succumb to your powers.
Joseph And look what we begetted, a babe in swaddlings. Oh, I forgot, you were fooling around with that God guy again.
Mary Never mind, think of all the camels you had. In any case, we are a family and must focus on that.
Joseph Why yes, Mary, and that’s the most important thing, procreation. Did you remember to put blue contact lenses in little Jesus’s eyes and the Michael Jackson skin whitener on?
Mary Yes, Joseph. Thanks for the reminder. Should we go to church now?
Joseph What’s that?
Mary You’re so funny, you forgot, it’s that gathering place the Emperor Constantine invented. Hurry or we’ll be late!

Steve That’s a wrap. Wow, when they said you were professionals Frum was right! The script’s a little over my head but if he wrote it , it must be good. Cabinet, tell all the underlings about this. Dismissed.

*Montreal Simon has a good rant about the upcoming debate.

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Entry filed under: Canadian Conservatives, Humour, Politics, Religion, Same Sex Marriage, Stephen Harper.

Famous Stupid People #15 The Turkey Goes To Turkey

13 Comments

  • 1. Bill-Muskoka  |  November 29, 2006 at 6:09 am

    scout,

    I suppose the Pope will fly in to participate. He has a ‘deep’ interest in the issue you know?

    Right now he i out and about trying to BS his way out of another long overdue apology to…this time The Muslim world!

    Like the two Catholic Priests in the restroom taking a whiz. One look over and down and notices the other has a NicoDerm patch on his scwartsticker, and asks ”I see you are wearing the patch. Isn’t it supposed to be on your arm?”

    The other replies “No, its working just fine. I am down to two butts a day!”

  • 2. Bill-Muskoka  |  November 29, 2006 at 6:21 am

    Montreal Simon makes many excellent points, but perhaps the most significant is the vote being held on December 7th which will make 12/7/2006 another day the ‘live in infamy’!

    Yes sir folks, our Glorious Leader, Steve the Sleeze, will attempt, for purely political reason that appeal to the most ignorant of our populace, to over ride the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

    Forget that our Supreme Court has ruled on the issue. Forget we are talking about equality of rights to people regarding disposition of assets. Which even busines partnerships enjoy.

    No, Steve the Sleeze, has an ‘agenda’ derived from his Butt Buddy, George the Bush, aka Bushy the Bum.

    They are out to save the world from anything but the real threats like Global Warming, starvation, war, and injustice.

    They are The Blues Brothers on a mission from GAWD!

  • 3. harpervalley  |  November 29, 2006 at 7:39 am

    bill, love the joke!!! steve the sleeze….could we shorten that to ‘sleeve’ or ‘steeze’? charter, what charter….i think steve had someone burn it.

  • 4. Bill-Muskoka  |  November 29, 2006 at 7:56 am

    scout,

    I kinda like the ganstra’ thing Steve the Sleeze adds.

    Imagine that a Christian Mafia? What will they do next?

    Ban Bananas?

    Outlaw Olive Oil?

    Confiscate Condoms?

    Advocate Abstinence?

    BTW, I noticed on the news last night that NATO backwards is OTAN. That means ‘Overthrow The Arab Nations’ I think?

    They even have OTAN on the background at the meeting.

    So much news, so little time!

  • 5. Bill-Muskoka  |  November 29, 2006 at 8:13 am

    scout,

    I sure hope the SSM is clearer than the ‘nation within a nation’ fiasco?

    Here is an example of what is happening now because of it!

    Quebec, Quebec or Quebec, Canada?

    In a busy Parisian cafe, a tourist is sitting alone, enjoying a crème
    caramel. Another tourist approaches:

    Me sit here?

    No problem…

    Thank you, very nice…

    Are you on vacation?

    Me, I arrive yesterday…

    What country are you from?

    Norway. You?

    From Quebec.

    Quebec? Me not know Quebec…

    Quebec… near the Atlantic, next to Ontario, the Great Lakes…

    No, me not know these places.

    Never mind then, I’m from Canada…

    Ah! Canada! Canada I know! So why you tell me you come from Quebec?

    Because, my first country is Quebec!

    Oh, you were born in Quebec and immigrated to Canada….

    No, no, I was born in Quebec and I stay in Quebec…

    Oh, then your father is from Canada?

    No, no, my father, my mother, my wife, my dog, everybody, they come from
    Quebec….

    So why you say Canada?

    For Christ sake, because you say you don’t know where is Quebec!

    OK, but if you say you not know Norway, me I not say that my country is
    Japan…

    Shit! Canada isn’t Japan. Canada, it’s my country.

    Oh, your country not Quebec anymore?…

    My country is Quebec. But my country, it can be Canada too, if the person I speak to not know where is Quebec, Tabarnak!

    Me not understand…

    Look, it’s simple: I come from the Province of Quebec, in the country of Canada.

    Ok! But me not ask you what province you’re from, I ask you what country.

    Me, I come from Lofoten region in Norway, but I answer you Norway when you ask me what country I come from…

    I know, I’m not stupid, Coulisse! But me, when they ask me what country I come from, I answer Quebec. Even if it’s the name of my province. For me, it’s my country.

    Oh, now I understand. You are a separatist, you want your Quebec
    province to be your country…

    Are you crazy, Hostie? I don’t want to know nothing from that %$&$!

    Me, I not understand anything anymore.

    I tell you before, it’s simple! You ask me what country I come from, I answer Quebec because Quebec is my country, but I don’t really want it to be my country, it would be too much trouble. I just want to say it. So, why don’t you just let me say it?

    Me all mix up. You have passport from what country: Quebec or Canada?

    CANADA, Hostie!

    So why you not tell me Canada right away?

    Because it don’t feel right. For me, Canada is Anne Murray, the Calgary Stampede, the Mounted Police, SARS, it’s not my home all that. Home, it’s La Famille Plouffe, Saraphin Poudrier, La P’tite Vie, Falix Leclerc, La
    Poune, Les Canadiens de Montreal, Les Bougons… Do you understand???

    Less and less…

    Listen, forget all that shit. Ask me another question.

    Ok, what town you come from?

    Mmm…, I don’t know anymore…

    You not know what town you come from?

    Yes, yes, I know what town I come from, but my town it merge with another town, but soon it is going to demerge from the town that was supposed to be my town…

    Oh, that very complicated! When you write your address, what do you write?

    I don’t know anymore. Before, I used to write Hull, but Hull changed to Gatineau, but they tell us to wait 3 years before stopping to write Hull to not mix up the mailman. But now, the Liberals they pass a law that make it ok for Gatineau to be Hull again, but I don’t know if we have to wait 3 years to be able to write Hull, or when the 3 years are passed, if we have to write Gatineau for 3 years, and after we write Hull. Unless, of course, the PQ come back in power and we remerge with Gatineau, then we’ll have to write Gatineau for 3 years.

    I leave now; I have hurt in my head…

    It’s so simple Tabarnak: My town is Hull, my country is Quebec. But if you prefer, my town is Gatineau and my country is Canada.

    OK, I think I understand

    It’s about time. Anyway, it was fun talking to you, if you come around where I live; maybe you come and see me…

    OK, but where? Hull in Quebec or Gatineau in Canada?

    You’re a pain in the butt. Forget the whole thing

    That, my friends, is the portrait of Quebec!

  • 6. harpervalley  |  November 29, 2006 at 9:31 am

    well done, bill, well done!

  • 7. JJ  |  November 29, 2006 at 10:28 am

    Tabernak! I hope Skeeve’s ready toulouse the vote, lautrec. (groan)

  • 8. Bill-Muskoka  |  November 29, 2006 at 11:32 am

    JJ,

    Aye, he will be going oui, oui in his Moo-moo no doubt!

  • 9. Bruce  |  November 29, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    We don’t know if the vote will be on the 7th, the motion is being introduced on the 6th so they likely will vote the next day (my Mother’s birthday) just to get it over with. Then again, they might actually debate it, if they do, watch out.

  • 10. Great Aunty Bertha  |  November 29, 2006 at 2:32 pm

    Bill,

    That was awsome.

    By the way, what happened to your blog?

    GAB

  • 11. Bill-Muskoka  |  November 29, 2006 at 3:13 pm

    Great Aunty Bertha,

    I am not sure. Probably some silly maintenance by BlogSpot. I am planning on moving iot to Word Press, but have not had the time to learn all the new tricks.

    Thanks for asking. I was gone all the weekend and had not noticed.

  • 12. harpervalley  |  November 29, 2006 at 7:19 pm

    jj……oh, groaner indeed!!! good groaner, drum and cymbals warranted.

    bruce…i believe a debate is planned and i can’t see it going any further, so i think ma will get a good birthday present 🙂

    gab and bill….ya bill, that was weird,i went there today and it was one giant white page!!!! i’ll help ya where i can with wordpress….at least they give you advance notice of maintenace and they don’t do it that often.

  • 13. hahahdsdscs  |  September 18, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    Comenzaron y se fuerzas logrande), el pelo, la acomodar de mis piernas de fin de cómo soy.
    piedi maschili.
    wwwsesso.
    calze nere.
    sapphic erotika.
    historias de reflexion

    Bye Bye


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Winnder of # 52 is Great Aunty Bertha of Ecclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER = RICH COLEMAN

Winner of #51 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = KIM CAMPBELL

Winner of #50 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = RONALD REGAN

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ANSWER = LINDA LINGLE

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ANSWER = ELIZABETH DOLE

Winner of #47 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = LIBERIA'S CHARLES TAYLOR

Winner of #46 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER = PHIL FONTAINE

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ANSWER = SARAH PALIN

Winner of the dastardly #44 is Coyote of Wandering Coyote
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Winner # 43 is Q of North of Center
ANSWER = ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGAR

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ANSWER= JANET NAPOLINI

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ANSWER= PREMIER GORDON CAMPBELL

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ANSWER= DICK CHENEY

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ANSWER= ANITA BRYANT

#38 is WC of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= Ted Nugent

#37 is Annamarie of Verbena 19
ANSWER= Hillary Clinton

#36 is GAB of Eclectic Eccentricity.
ANSWER=TONY CLEMENTS

#35 is Bruce of Canuk Attitude
ANSWER= STEPHEN HARPER

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ANSWER=MAYOR MARIE TRAYNOR OF CALEDONIA

#33 is Sassy of no fixed address
ANSWER=POL POT

#32 is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER=DON CHERRY

#31 is Ross of The Gazateer.

ANSWER = BO DEREK

#30 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote.
ANSWER= PRINCE PHILIP

#29 AND 28 winner is Q of North of Center.
ANSWER = NANCY PELOSI, GEORGE WALLACE

# 27 Karen of Voyages of the HMS Swiftsure. ANSWER = BRIAN MULRONEY

# 26 Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: PRINCESS ANNE

# 25 AND # 24 winner is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote. ANSWER: HAMID KARZI.

# 23 winner is Bruce of Canuk Attitude ANSWER: EVA BRAUN

# 22 winner is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity
ANSWER: JOHN BAIRD.

# 21 is Wandering Coyote of Wandering Coyote
ANSWER: ANGELA MERKEL

#20 is Liz who has no blogspot.
ANSWER: JIM PRENTICE

#19 is JJ of Unrepentant Old Hippie ANSWER=GARY MACHALE

#18 is Bruce of Canuk AttitudeANSWER= DALTON MACGUINTY

#17 is Jamie of And From These Ashes.... ANSWER: MARGARET THATCHER

#16 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: JOSPEH MACCARTHY

# 15 is Sheena of SheenaVision. ANSWER= NANCY REGAN

#14 is Great Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentricity. ANSWER: The Pope

#13 is The Anon of Cyber Space. ANSWER: Barbara Bush

#12 is The Anon of no fixed address. ANSWER: Augusto Pinnochet

# 11 is The Rev of The Woodshed. ANSWER: Donald Trump

#10 is Sheena of SheenaVision ANSWER: Josef Stalin

#9 is JJ of Unperpentant Old HippieANSWER: The Queen of England

# 8 is Ron of Northern SuberviaANSWER=Fulgencio Batista

#6 AND #7 is Q of North of Center ANSWER #6= Felipe Calderon and ANSWER#7=Alessandra Mussolini

#5 is Bazz of Oi ! Thump !. ANSWER= Jane Russell

#4 is BCWaterboy of The Kalamalka Rainbow. ANSWER= "Michael Chertoff"

#3 is Annamarie of Verbena-19 ANSWER= "Laureen Harper"

#2 is Anon...who shall remain anonymous. ANSWER= "Idi Amin"

#1 is Austin of WildDogRoad ANSWER: Imedla Marcos

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