If Only They Were Normal #15 – The Queen

November 24, 2006 at 11:21 pm 16 comments

queenbiker.jpg
She’s stuffy, old-fashioned, and the Monarchy costs U.K. tax payers a mint…yet she’s one of the wealthiest women in the world. Sure, sure, she’s a product of her upbringing, but aren’t we all…and didn’t most of us work to overcome that? So what if the Queen took a ‘normal’ role?

“Fuck the thoroughbreds, I’ve got my freedom machine and the hell with Philip. He’s always been pokin’ the gals anyways. Bloody right, I’ve ‘ad it and taking me hog to a country pub. Patooey, ha, there’s a right good gob fer ya. Put a couple ‘o pints in me and I’m gonna smoke some bitch sticks and yack me ‘ead off bout Chuck, Andy and Anne. Coo, (oops, not Koo Stark), my kids drive me up the wall. Think any of them could put their bloody feet in to stop Blair and his colonist warring? Wanker.

Wot’s that…some freakin’ ‘edge’og road kill? Never mind, that pub’s gettin’ closer and I can taste the bitters already. Gonna write some letters to ‘arper an’ ‘oward the coward too. Right bloody bastards they are acting oh so la tee dah an tough an’ all. ‘ow’d they like me boot up their arses?”

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Entry filed under: Blair, Harper, Howard, Humour, Politics, Queen.

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16 Comments

  • 1. Q  |  November 25, 2006 at 10:08 am

    Rockin bod for an old gal. Looks mighty happy on her hog.

  • 2. harpervalley  |  November 25, 2006 at 10:21 am

    Q, mighty happy. the corgies are in the saddle bags.

  • 3. jacobin  |  November 25, 2006 at 11:33 am

    Itried posting this earlier, lets see if it works this time.

    I can’t believe the Brits haven’t thrown those inbreds to the curb already.

    seriously, think about it, 13 families intermarried for the past 2000 years or so controlling/manipulating the lives of millions and millions of brits/scots/irish and others around the world including china/india/south africa/canda/australia etc…sending them to there death and destruction so they could rape pillage and steal …it’s fucking unbelieable.

    what’s worst, is that in canada, some english speaking canadians would kiss her majesty’s soiled ass and stick it to his/her fellow canadian.

    Therefore I consider quebec seperatist more canadian and patriotic towards this great land and it’s habitants than those that worship and give complete control to some inbred familly thousands of miles away.

    if i insulted anybody who believes another human should control there lives, because they were simply born into a certain inbred family…good, get over it!

    rant and rave
    provided by jacobin
    thank you

  • 4. Great Aunty Bertha  |  November 25, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    I think that’s the best one yet, Scout.

    I love it.

    GAB

  • 5. The Anon  |  November 25, 2006 at 12:08 pm

    Looks much more sexy than Jim Flaherty:)

  • 6. harpervalley  |  November 25, 2006 at 1:44 pm

    gab, gee thanks. liz is giving us that certain lift from her smile aboard her hog though.

    the anon, haha, well flaherty tried his best, he really did and he was a goodsport throughout the photoshoot….thank gawd he had his own outfit.

  • 7. JJ  |  November 25, 2006 at 6:23 pm

    Us old ladies luv our hogs:) Good one, scout!

  • 8. Anth  |  November 25, 2006 at 6:40 pm

    You’re the best.

  • 9. Anth  |  November 25, 2006 at 6:40 pm

    Your the best.

  • 10. harpervalley  |  November 25, 2006 at 7:47 pm

    jj, a sportster’s a good choice for old gals. well, young gals too….especially for stumped legged gals like myself who can’t lean on a norton or triumph without falling over.

  • 11. harpervalley  |  November 25, 2006 at 7:49 pm

    anth, thanks, i could take you more seriously if you werent promotoing rick mercer and the frog lady πŸ™‚

  • 12. harpervalley  |  November 25, 2006 at 11:35 pm

    jacobin…..sorry, wordpress has this weird spam catching thing and sometimes legite posts go into it…i have no idea why. im just getting used to the ins and outs of this site and dont always remember to go to this spam thing to ‘un-spam’ some comments (its caught only one legitimate spam).

    heh hem, that being said….im surprised with the generations of inbreeding why they don’t all have banjos and no eyebrows. ‘squeal like a pig’ would be a good greeting for the royal family.

    as for quebec, sorry, the history of treatment of first nations has not been good there….especially the seperatists who have never yet allowed for the recognition of inherent rights and traditional territories. seems all anyone wants is resoures and minerals. natives ARE sovereign but no province or federal government has recognized canada’s own rule of law regarding this.

    abou tth eonly thing royal i like is that nice plush toilet paper, something royale or royale something.

  • 13. jacobin  |  November 26, 2006 at 4:30 am

    yeah I agree, the seperatist/bloc whatever, should show a little more compassion towards the first nation people in Quebec and sit down at the table and discuss giving them a piece of land within quebec in full partnership of a free and indepedent Quebec. (include them in the quebec republic, so that they have the opportunity to govern themselves and also provide an independent quebec with some stability within it’s own borders)

    and as far as treatment of first nation not being good in quebec, I fully agree and would add the history of treatment of first nations has not been good in the rest of Canada…caledonia anyone?

  • 14. jacobin  |  November 26, 2006 at 5:06 am

    another thing

    from now on I shall attempt to refrain from being serious when I post a comment here at harpervalley, it’s a humour blog after all πŸ˜‰

  • 15. Bruce  |  November 26, 2006 at 5:58 am

    That’s fantastic, she looks like a right proper Lesbian. You’re getting really good at this, old Lizzie hasn’t looked that good in years.

  • 16. JJ  |  November 26, 2006 at 10:23 am

    “a sportster’s a good choice for old gals” Don’t I know it! I was the loud & proud owner of a straight-piped sporty until a couple of years ago… flames on the gastank and the whole 9 yards. This has got me thinking about getting back on the road this spring…


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