One Lump or Two?

November 21, 2006 at 2:16 pm 5 comments

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General Harper cant seem to get over his colonizer roots. I say, Steve, how is it you manage to sneak past parliament on so many things, including sending the army in to try squelch Mohawk Nation land reclamation? Deseronto, in Ontario, is just another example in your recent Canadian Law and Human Rights violations (are you listening, President Hu Jintao?).

Why, I almost called my good buddy, The Queen, to check on her corgies and let her know Stevie’s violated the Royal Proclamation AGAIN! But I opted to make some Red Rose tea instead and munch on watercress sandwhiches, organically grown in Rona’s backyard. I did however, phone this nation’s number one Injun advocate, Jim Prentice, but he was meeting with Dr. Mengele to develop a new strain of smallpox. Too bad because I’m sure Jim ‘The Apprentice’ would have liked to tell someone they’re fired….probably someone in the Department of Indiian Affairs who was wiretapped while telling their sister ‘everything is oh so wrong’.

The ‘oh so wrong’ got me to wondering, because I finally hit on what’s ‘oh so right’. I’ve been thiinking and thinking for a while now of who Steve looks like. It hit me today…..Lumpy Rutherford from ‘Leave it to Beaver’. Now that’s just so damned Canadian, isn’t it, Stever looking and acting like a character in an old tv show with the word ‘beaver’ in it. But look at the guy….he looks like a beaver!!!!!!!!

To make matters worse (or better), Lumpy was a swell-headed buffoon who ran to Daddy when he got in trouble….sound familiar? I dont want to suggest that Lumpy Harper runs to Daddy Bush, ok, I do, and I’d like to suggest that Lumpy Harper would do anything for a ‘Made in the U.S.A. Cookie’.

So Lumpy Harper, quit sending in the army to native territory, even though Boreen finds you sexy in your General Red Coat uniform, and especially stop having them make lame excuses like, ‘They were student drivers in training and took a wrong turn’ when the road was a frickin’ straight stretch for miles. Another thing, try some Falling Rock Pemican Bits instead of Tims!

So, Prime Minister Lumpy, will that be one lump or two to get you to see the light?
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Entry filed under: Aboriginal, Army, Deseronto, Jim Prentice, Lumpy Rutherford, Mohawk, Stephen Harper, Uncategorized.

Happy Blogaverssary , Galloping Beaver! Eddie and Lumpy Pick on The Beav

5 Comments

  • 1. Q  |  November 21, 2006 at 9:05 pm

    Lumpy’s too busy being an international amateur assclown to worry about Mohawks at home.

    Bush is more Eddie Haskell. Sweet and polite for the camera and an asshole in private.

  • 2. harpervalley  |  November 21, 2006 at 9:18 pm

    hahaha! bush IS eddy haskel. who’s beaver and wally?

  • 3. rev.paperboy  |  November 23, 2006 at 7:23 pm

    I used to work at the local papers on either side of Deseronto – the Napanee Beaver and the Picton Gazette. And before that I worked on the Grand River Sachem in Caledonia – coincidence?

  • 4. harpervalley  |  November 23, 2006 at 11:25 pm

    rev.paperboy…..coincidence? i have no idea!!! fill me in.

  • 5. rev.paperboy  |  November 24, 2006 at 12:33 am

    actually it is a coincidence, I was just hoping to get credit for starting a first nations uprising….


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