Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

October 15, 2006 at 12:25 am 15 comments

crystalmethodist.jpgHa Hoo! Parishiners, oh parishoners!

Before you leave Jack Lord’s house, remember to put a few extra alms in the plate! I’m watching and you wouldn’t want me to tell stories about you now, you naughty people you!

A quick note from Luke Warm, 10:23:04 – ‘Yay though I walk through the Valley of Six Nation’s death I shall fear no evil for I am an Aryan sent on mission impossible from Steve Harper’s pointing finger of judgement. Thy rod and staff comfort and pleasure me (ho ho, I added that in for all you heated dames).’

So remember, march on Sunday wearing your best leiderhosen because what mamma said is true…you don’t want to be caught at the hospital with old or dirty underwear!!! Hold your placards high so the media won’t get crotch shots, and please, this is the work of Jack Lord so if you hear the words “Book ’em, Danno’, don’t resist and know that White Christ will save you!

Ta ta and have a merry, merry missionary march to God’s land (those indians, how they think it’s their land behooves me. May White God strike them with OH, OUCH, WHAT HAPPENED, I just felt my derriere being pinched. Mr. Harper, was that you?). Ho, ha, there’s always fun and games in the hallowed halls.

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Prayer Time ! Scary McHale’s Heritage

15 Comments

  • 1. Alison  |  October 15, 2006 at 5:49 am

    Luke Warm, Jack Lord…
    Damn fine, girl.

  • 2. Anonymous  |  October 15, 2006 at 5:53 am

    Christ WAS from the Middle East where people have curly hair and black complexion. If people find out that their Christ was actually a Blackman then what is going to happen. What will it do to the white pride?

    CHRIST WAS ACTUALLY BLACK.

  • 3. Scout  |  October 15, 2006 at 8:25 am

    thanks mohamed ali son.

    anon, yes, we are quite aware of this, but the aryans are in denial …..he could return and wouldn’t be acknowledged or arrested and tortured. GITMO FILE, prisoner #29384729 , Mr. Hayseus Chreesto

  • 4. Bill-Muskoka  |  October 15, 2006 at 10:21 am

    scout,

    You do realize that Christ was/is Hispanic. There are tens of thousands of Jesus’s in Mexico, er, the U.S..

    Christ was not black, as black infers a non-arab ethnicity. He was a Semite. Likewise Indians are not Blacks. Actually there are very few truly black skinned races. The Aboriginals of Australia, and few in Africa. Most bear a high melanin content int heir skin to protect them. regardless, it is not the external characteristics of a person, but rather the internal content of character that matters. Except to Rednecks, bigots, and racists of course.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skin_colour

    Christ is a title BTW, not a name….derived from the Latin Christos.

    The one thing for sure was he was not a Roman, didn’t look like a Roman, i.e., Italian, and brought forth a message for all people, not merely the Caucasians.

    Like we said in the Marines…Everyone bleeds red blood…we are brothers in common.

  • 5. Scout  |  October 15, 2006 at 11:29 am

    bill, no doubt we are one blood…save for vulcans with green blood. but hey, liquid is liquid!

    race is a modern concept anyways
    http://www.pbs.org/race/000_About/002_04-background-02.htm

    a while ago i posted the composite reconstruction of what heesus probably looked like
    http://harper-valley.blogspot.com/2006/06/666.html

    so, did jesus have a surname????

  • 6. The anon.  |  October 15, 2006 at 1:27 pm

    Part of Middle East is in Africa. Some people are quite dark that you will call them black. I read somewhere that Jesus had very dark complexion and not the blond hair, blues eyes that West depicts him to be.

  • 7. jj  |  October 15, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    Don’t tell me I’m late for church, oh nooooo!

    JC was semitic – he probably looked a lot like Osama bin laden, without the turban and the kalashnikov.

  • 8. Bill-Muskoka  |  October 15, 2006 at 2:36 pm

    scout,

    No one had a surname back then…just so and so of such and such so Yasheua of Nazareth would have probably been how he was referred to of son of Joseph.

    All attempts to decribe the appearance of Jesus are without scientific foundation. Certainly none of the paintings captured him because they were not doing that in that period.

    Recent research (scientific) has showne the Shroud of Turin is most likely not Jesus’ burial cloth, but that of Jacques DeMolay the leader of the Knights Templar.

  • 9. Scout  |  October 15, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    the anon……while jesus was a jew, and there were many blacks in the middle east, and the essenes are said to hold the arc of the covenant in ethiopia, and mary’s conception was immaculate (feminist theologins hold she was raped by a roman soldier), we have no way of knowing what colour his pigment was, other then it’s a good calculated guess he did not have blonde hair, blue eyes (unless it was a northern italian soldier) and white skin.

    JJ, i’m dissapointed you missed church again , especially because you contribute so well to the collection plate for the elders to dip into. gawd no, jesus may have been a bind laden!!!! what went wrong?

    bill, ah, hence the name jesus of nazareth. ok, from now on thats how i’ll refer to the babe in swaddlings. maybe i’ll leave out the ‘of’. mr. nazareth sounds good. are you sure the shroud of turin isn’t Luke Warm?

  • 10. The anon.  |  October 15, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    JJ, I usually do not attend Church but this Sunday I was there early in the morning. Good eh! Apparently I have not left it yet.

    I cannot open your blog. Has beta done its number again.

  • 11. jj  |  October 15, 2006 at 8:11 pm

    the anon. — What!? Ohno! I’ve been having some probs with my IP — my computer was off while I was away, and I was assigned a new address that doesn’t seem to be pinging. WTF. Thanks for the heads up, I’ll call them.

  • 12. Scout  |  October 15, 2006 at 8:51 pm

    oh no! not beta and ip’s and pings!!!!!!

    anyone out there who can tell my why my new printer won’t work wireless????? driving me up the frickin’ wall trying to get it right.

  • 13. jj  |  October 15, 2006 at 9:15 pm

    Beta and IPs and Pings — oh my!!!

    You’ve got the printer plugged into the laptop and the laptop getting an airport connection? Just guessing here but try going to your printer setup utility (system preferences, printers) click setup printers, then add, then there’s a dropdown menu at the top that lists different printer destinations. Check that you’re at the right destination. That’s all I know, sorry.

    Can you do me a favour and go to my blog and post a message at the last entry. I just want to make sure this thing’s working.

  • 14. Scout  |  October 15, 2006 at 9:22 pm

    no, printer plugged in to wireless base station and get an error message when try to add new printer to , ach, never mind.

    10-4 , heading to your site right now. beam me up.

  • 15. The anon.  |  October 16, 2006 at 5:34 am

    Thanks JJ. Your blog does open now.


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