It’s Sunday, meet Crystal Methodist, your Gal of Gawd who can help opiate the masses with sermons as ripe as the poppies growing in Afghanistan. Crystal’s a bit of an enigma but we do know she’s a spinster ever chasing the eligable bachelor, Theo Cracy, a church elder known for his savvy at getting parishoners to put a few extra fins and sawbucks into the collection plate.
Crystal;s not ordained but does tend to the flowers and bookeeeping, and if you’re in her path she’ll deliver her own version of The Good Book. Let’s listen to a nanno second of her pental-accosting the Smith’s as they leave Our Lady of Perpetual Borrow –
“Ha hoo! Smith’s, oh Smithies!!! Don’t forget Matthew 21:05 and Peter 18:03 when you go to poker tonight. A little birdie told me. I want to see any winnings put in the plate!!!’.
You get the drift, but ya gotta love her for keeping track of the flock.
*Crystal was inspired by JJ at Unrepentant Old Hippie and her recent post on likening religion to crack.
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