Rona Ambrose Gets Starring Role

October 5, 2006 at 9:13 am 14 comments

ronaambrose.jpgSeen here with identical cousin Kirsty Alley, Rona Ambrose is set to study her script for a remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’. Rona’s getting plenty of rehearsal time in, having been called forth by the Commons environment committee and questioned on the government’s approach to the Kyoto accord. With Harper-approved script in hand, Rona’s sure to ‘wow’ them.

The Birds remake is going well by all reports, where Rona stars as an innocent urban politician who goes for a hike and gets shat on the head by gun toting spotted owls. Covered with the marshmellow dew, Rona must find her way out of the woods, blinded by the phosphates burning her eyes. All 17 remaining spotted owls were cast but hundreds more were needed, so Rona’s Environment Ministry gave the thumbs up to capture barn owls and cover them with toxic paints to make them ‘realistic’.

“It’s for the sake of art”, says Ms. Ambrose. “Owls are just stupid animals anyways and get in the way of exploiting resources and development. Wait till my second flick where we’ll remove all existing, outdated filters on factory smokestacks to re-make ‘Planet of the Rapes’. This will expose once and for all that economy is more imortant then environment. No I’m not a neo-con Al Gore, shove it!”

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The Clampetts Go North Rainbow Friday

14 Comments

  • 1. Amelopsis  |  October 5, 2006 at 9:49 am

    Oh I’d love to the Spotted Owls get revenge 🙂

  • 2. Gazetteer  |  October 5, 2006 at 9:52 am

    Oh.

    Now I get it.

    The new policy will be based on scientology rather than that dopey, plain old tired, hypothetical, evidence-based science thing.

    .

  • 3. Youngfox  |  October 5, 2006 at 10:19 am

    I’m sure the Neocons are working hard to find a solution to this growing problem of mass education.
    I mean who needs to do anything about pollution when blue eyed War Jesus is coming to rapture them up soon anyway?
    It’s so delightful to see they have adopted the American Neocon model of “don’t look at what we do, blame Bill Clinton”, deflection of any critiquing of their actions now.

    Question: How many months of backsliding societal degeneration must we endure before this is no longer our “new” government?
    They love that term. It is like mass hypnosis.
    Don’t blame us for the expanding quagmire war, the attempts to legalize queer hating and totally ignore the environment, we’re new!

    It got really old months ago.

  • 4. Scout  |  October 5, 2006 at 10:34 am

    amelopsis…..heh heh….wouldn’t it be cool if they swarmed her and shat upon her dazed head?

    gaz, yes, scientology has now joined with the mission alliance church , where the ghost of l. ron hubbard is channeled. neo-cons earn their ‘zaps’ by degrading anything to do with the environment or human rights. at the rate they’re going we’re going to see an awful lot of permed hairdos from all that electricity….but harper seems like an ex-disco type so it may go over well.

    youngfox, oh, they’re workin’ so hard! prob is , if they aren’t into the environment the rapture birds won’t be around to carry them forth to their dream. yes, yes, it got old and they’re a boring lot. the best we can do is email in suggestions on how to creativley bolster their bland so we at least have something more to work with. i mean really….they should at least have funky posters, interactive web sites with war vids, games like ‘spot the gay’. but no no no, all they give us is BORING!!!!!

  • 5. cheezwhiz  |  October 5, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    holy shit, do they ever look alike. Hairline to chin.

  • 6. Alison  |  October 5, 2006 at 2:51 pm

    It’s the friggin “Patty Duke Show” all over again.

  • 7. Scout  |  October 5, 2006 at 4:29 pm

    cheez, ya , scary huh?

    alison, good to see your hidden profile! ha, wondered who’d pick up on the patty duke thing 🙂

  • 8. Bill-Muskoka  |  October 5, 2006 at 7:05 pm

    Ah,

    The thought has now emerged, as they tend to do like fine wine with age.

    ‘The Planet of The Apes’ is now…NOW!

    See, the neo-cons believe in ‘feelings’ as long as they’re their feelings. The Hard Liners reject Evolution so they refuse to evolve, therefore, they have devolved and look at what they can do? Comeon…keep looking…harder…oh someone please find one thing they can do that is progressive? Anyone?

    Too bad we do not grow bananas here…they could really ‘peel’ out then!

  • 9. Scout  |  October 5, 2006 at 9:13 pm

    ah hah! now i see the de-evolution theory you speak of and why bush looks like a monkey. i believe harper would be an oragutang. perhaps i can work on the photoshop of his ‘ape within’.

    amelopsis has a good point aabout climate chante in the clampett’s post…..so maybe global warming would allow us to grow bananas now.

    i’m calling jane goodall.

  • 10. jj  |  October 5, 2006 at 9:30 pm

    Are you making fun of the Chimperor again? Give the guy a banana–er, a break. It’s hard! It’s hard work! heh-heh!

  • 11. Scout  |  October 6, 2006 at 8:14 am

    no no no!!!! i would never, ever make fun of ANY politcian! honest. nuh-uh. no way. now, lift six hand, seven hand, eight hand BUNCH! toss it to the p.m., i wanna go home!

  • 12. Annamarie  |  October 6, 2006 at 8:01 pm

    Scout, that’s a wonderful story. I feel sorry for the owls though…

    The Cons have no environmental policy. Rona just keeps hedging, himming and hawing. Says their enviro policy will be better than Kyoto and workable. What a bunch of crock! They have none, and are scrambling to come up with something to shut us ‘enviros’ up. Can’t see how though…

    Stevie is cozying up more and more with his Chimp buddy, so we won’t see anything done about the environment. The neoCons don’t care about health and future, only keeping their corporate friends happy and the money lining their pockets. Stevie is also re-opening the BMD with Bush. (I just forwarded you Layton’s email about this in his reply to my letter about the secret Banff meeting re Canada’s sovereignty.) The Libs won’t be much help with Iggy at the helm who is merely Harper lite. Hope Layton and Elizabeth May speak up loud and clear. Theirs are the only reasonable voices.
    Otherwise, our country is going down the tubes fast!

    Gotta go find me that island…

  • 13. Scout  |  October 6, 2006 at 9:49 pm

    annamarie, you must have been into the schnapps and had the worst case of hiccups, i had to delete your above post about ten times. blogger beta still giving you trouble, obviously. haven’t gotten to your email yet as the dog’s been whining tonight, needs extra love for some reason (probaly because i bathed her). if our country is going down the tubes, i suggest we have canada’s tubes tied. i perform the procedure myself sans anaesthetic for only $9.99. deal!

  • 14. Bill-Muskoka  |  October 8, 2006 at 3:02 pm

    scout,

    ‘i believe harper would be an oragutang.’

    No, they are his superior species. Clyde can diasassemble a Caddy! Haprer can barely wipe his arse!


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