Ottawa’s AIDS/HIV Annoucement Leaked

August 17, 2006 at 7:42 pm 5 comments

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Those lovable, laudable NEO-CONtraries have been holding out on making an announcement on AIDS/HIV funding as the issue has ‘become too politized’. However, my insider at Parliament Hill, Daddy Scout the janitor, faxed me a copy of Harper’s proposed plan:

“Our Government will be spending 1 million dollars to give away lapel ribbons on a cross. The best prevention and cure for AIDS/HIV is the Lord Jesus, King of Kings. A further 23 million dollars will go to New Christian churches to do repairs and expansions for all the converts we expect. All money is being redirected from prior Kelowna Accord budgeting. We feel the indigenous problem can also be solved by converting those heathens to worshipping the Lord. The babe in swaddlings should also take care of Vancouver’s glut of drug addicts. Healthy prayer to The Lord Gawd Almighty and his immaculately conceived son will do away with all the ills in this country. My wife, Boreen , helped me reach this decision as I struggled for an answer. She said, “Stephen, The Lord and our cat Yahwah will give help you decide”. Sure enough, Yahwah said, “Hisssssssssssss” and I knew it meant ‘His’ way. Thank you, thank you, oh, some kleenex please. Amen.”

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5 Comments

  • 1. Q  |  August 18, 2006 at 4:20 am

    What a bunch of assclowns. Where’s the gratitude after you normalized them?

  • 2. Anonymous  |  August 18, 2006 at 6:14 am

    Simply too funny but painfully true. Is it possible that Harpie was referring to Bernard Lord of New Brunswick. I heard that that fellow thinks he is the Lord and not that his name is Lord. However, Harpier is praising this Lord to keep him in NB so that he remains the only PM. I also heard that this Lord thinks that in reality he is not only Premier but also the Prime Minister – people just do not know it yet.

  • 3. Anonymous  |  August 18, 2006 at 6:48 am

    Following is reported by Canadian Press and is not a joke. It is published in numerous newspapers.

    OTTAWA (CP) – Laureen Harper says she’s a dog-lover forced by circumstance into an exclusively feline lifestyle.

    The prime minister’s wife has had up to seven cats living at 24 Sussex at the same time – including two of her own and five kittens temporarily adopted from the local animal shelter.
    ——–
    So Harper does get his advice from cats.

  • 4. Scout  |  August 18, 2006 at 8:52 am

    q, exactly! i put myself in photoshop heaven, er, jail, worked hard, i was workin’ really hard, to normalize them, then this!!! turncoats.

    anon, oh great , or is that G8? confusion amongst the ranks. lord lord. well lordy. little lord fontelharp. or is that fondle harp? and now boreen admits to wanting it doggy-style!

  • 5. Annamarie  |  August 18, 2006 at 10:01 pm

    Hehehehe! Just too funny for words, and the comments too! hehehehe! Laughing too hard to think of anything to add… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    just thought of something: I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Harpie actually thought stuff like that…


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ANSWER= Hillary Clinton

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ANSWER = BO DEREK

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ANSWER = NANCY PELOSI, GEORGE WALLACE

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