Police Probe Uncovers British-born Terrorists

August 10, 2006 at 5:33 pm 9 comments

beanbobby.jpg
BBC
The Bobbies always get their teddies. Seen here as captured by a U.K. Scotland Yard Bobby, Mr. Bean has been arrested as the ring leader of over 21 suspected British Comic terrorists, involved in a plot to place nitrous oxide in pet shampoo bottles and make the U.S. laugh to death.

The uber-clandestine plot had the likes of ring-leader Bean plus other notables like Joanna Lumley and the cast of Monty Python ready to place laughing gas bombs on American aircraft headed for the U.S. and explode above densley populated centers. The result, according to an interrogated John Cleese, would open Yankee eyes to the ridiculous and escalating fear mongering being used as an excuse for Western Nations to go in and finish off the Middle East, leaving a victorious Israeli government to easily negotiate with.

The story doesn’t end there. In the U.S. the CIA and FBI have jailed George Carlin and Ellen DeGeneres, and in Canada CSIS and the RCMP have reportedly arrested Rick Mercer and Mary Walsh. All were attempting to replicate “The Bean Stalk Plan” and send planes to the UK, Canada, and other Gr8 member nations. The plot also involved stalking people on the street to disengage their fright of brown-skinnned people.

When Mr. Bean was asked about the police probe, he produced a pair of latex gloves and muttered something inaudable. With all terrorists now under arrest, the world can resume fight or flight response. No wait, i didn’t mean flight. Nothing to do with flights. I have never even seen a plane. If you asked me what one was I’d have to look it up in the dictionary.

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9 Comments

  • 1. anon Two  |  August 11, 2006 at 9:42 am

    This makes way more sense then the headlines. Thanks for the laugh!

  • 2. Anonymous  |  August 11, 2006 at 1:42 pm

    Scout, you are too funny. Now I cannot carry my shaving cream in the airplane. I suppose I will stop shaving. Then they may arrest me, mistaking me for one of those -what is his name,Osama?

  • 3. Scout  |  August 11, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    anon two, yer welcome. scout vagabond, investigative reblogger at your service.

    anon, shhhhhh, don’t say that name too loud! besides there’s lots of good beard looks these days, braiding is an art form. and prison gives you three squares, no rent, a roof and clothes. if you’re lucky enough to make it to gitmo i hear they have sensory deprivation rooms where you can finally relax after all those years of hard work. the spa isn’t quite five-star but they’re working on that.

  • 4. Anonymous  |  August 11, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    Scout, ok, that was not a very good one. What if I do not shave and look like Fidel and end up in front of Whitehouse. What is Dubbya going to do to me?

  • 5. Annamarie  |  August 11, 2006 at 6:36 pm

    I am laughing too hard about anon’s last comment! I can just picture a Fidel clone in front of the W.H. hehehe! It’s a toss up who would shit his drawers first, Bush or Fidel clone?? hehehehe… 🙂

    Scout, your version is much better than the official one, and much too funny for my mere words.

  • 6. Scout  |  August 11, 2006 at 8:18 pm

    anon , hey, i can’t be ‘on’ all the time 🙂 . ok, so you look like fidel (or an infadel) and end up in front of the white house. i would just casually light a cigar and see what happens….not much because you will have brought anna marie along with you and rub it in bush’s face that you’re courting a younger blonde. bush will be jealous and run around looking for condi to announce he’s her husband again.

    annamarie, now now now, we know it would be bush, anon won’t be wearing pants because of having to fly naked.

  • 7. Anonymous  |  August 12, 2006 at 11:42 am

    You ladies are too funny.

    However, I will be much younger version of Fidel.

    Imagine this scenario. Fidel shows up in the Whitehouse lawn just below the window of Dubbya’s bedroom. Laura looks out. Pushes Dubbya out of bed and runs downstairs in her nightgown (Fidel is a lady killer after all). Hugs and kisses Fidel and they both walk into the sunset.

    Dubbya is free to move into Condo, oops! I mean moves with Condi. Freudian slip. Will the world be any different?

    On a second thought Fidel is too proud a Cuban and a revolutionary at that. He would have nothing to do with Laura.

    Then who wants Dubbya-the moron. Condi may have nothing to do with him.

    No easy end to this story.

  • 8. Scout  |  August 12, 2006 at 10:26 pm

    anon, i think you’re onto a pulp best seller here!!!! and if you’re much younger then fidel, annamarie and myself would be pleased to help you get into your birthday suit 😉 …..wait….are you of age?

  • 9. Anonymous  |  August 13, 2006 at 4:09 pm

    Yes I am an adult:):) The girls in my neighbourhood would like to see me in my birthday suit too. May be I will oblige one of them, soon.


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