Condi’s Piece Package

July 29, 2006 at 8:27 am 6 comments

airrice.jpg
Resplendant in her Israeli Designer Combat gear, U.S. Secretary Condoleezza Rice is undaunted that she can’t land in the Lo-East because of increased fighting. “They’re having communication problems because of all the war noise. If they knew I was on my way again they’d stop, after all, I’m Condi Rice and they’re not”. Condi is also certain the noise interfered with Israeli troops not being able to hear the pleas from the UN personell who were killed by a missile. “Honestly, everyone’s making such a big fuss about it. If people had been wearing their radio earphones like my cool Sigal Dekels, it wouldn’t have happened…so who’s to blame? The UN people should have known better.”

Condi expects to be able to land as soon as Lebanon and Israel know she’s in the area again. The U.S. piece plan seeks an international agreement on a UN-mandated fashion force that can provide good-looks in the region.
Condi’s Piece Package also includes:

– Do a make-over on Hezbollah and integrate the guerrilla force into the Lebanese army with designer uniforms.
– Create the piece of land held by Israel and claimed by Lebanon into a shopping mall called “The Plaza Strip”.
– create a piece of land as a “buff zone” where only ‘hotties’ can go.
– convince Hezbollah to carry Prada purses.
– create an international Beauty Pageant for Lebanon.

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6 Comments

  • 1. Anonymous  |  July 29, 2006 at 10:14 am

    Good one. With that smile she can be a good candidate for Colgate commercials. She can make few dinars on the side.

  • 2. Q  |  July 29, 2006 at 11:03 am

    We need a buff zone too, but Harper would become…squirmy uncomfortable. Purses are good, Gucci for the IDF, they can beat the crap out of each other with their bags and no more casualties, just the embarrassed fashion conscious whose accesssories don’t match.

  • 3. Scout  |  July 29, 2006 at 11:46 am

    anon, what’s that old song from when we were kids…’oh i wonder where i went last night when i brushed my teeth with dynamite?’

    q, stevey-joe would have to work on abs-o-steel before he’d allow a buff zone. i like the idea of fashion war though….perhaps a limit on the tips of stilleto heels. it could be like ‘american fashion idol’ and the unmatched get kicked off the runway in short order.

  • 4. David E. Patton  |  July 29, 2006 at 6:38 pm

    You have a biting wit that ever amaze me. Good job, keep it up and the war manchine will come knocking at your door if not the FBI. As for Condoleezza, I dont get the home girl, she’s fight on the wrong side. Far be it for me to say that she give black people a bad name but she have made her bed and gladly lie in it. The good thing is that she and her boss will soom be out of a job. I only hope that we get a Big D in office. I have always been on the loosing side as I wear a big eye poping L on my fore head and the crop that I have to pull from is slim picking.

  • 5. Anonymous  |  July 29, 2006 at 7:03 pm

    Two years is a long time. Condi and Dubbya can blow up the globe.

    Scout: ‘oh i wonder where i went last night when i brushed my teeth with dynamite?’

    I like that. Where she is, she may be literally brushing with dynamite. That should clean out her teeth.

  • 6. Scout  |  July 29, 2006 at 7:12 pm

    hey david! been a while since we popped around to each other’s sites!! ya, i really feel for all the u.s. citizens who have to live with condi, bush et. al. and now we have our govt. to deal with. rice is def and oreo, just like we have those of native heritage who have co-opted and we call them apples. ah well, we can only carry on 🙂

    anon, geeze, i thought everyone new that song, am i dating myself? it was sung to the old ‘peppsident’ jingle. and ya right on, she could be doing the brush from hell. i think her mouth needs cleaning out with soap, and her mind a good rinse from all the brainwashing. oh! i best be careful, never know these days if we’re talking in fundie code.


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