Silk Purse from a Sow’s Fears

 (Goiters): Harper Valley has learned that Canada’s Prime Minister Stephen Harper is preparting his nation against the deadly Swine Flu by immunization shots made from MP John Baird’s blood.

The PM had piggy-boy Baird hauled to the gallows of Parliament Hell and sacrificed on the official Mission Alliance altar.  The World Health Organization (WHO) has not yet sanctioned this as a cure but have it tabled for their next meeting.

Meantime the PM drank a cup of Baird-blood with Iggy the Bluff, and oops, looks like the PM slipped on his diet and couldn’t resist some porcine parts!  I’m sure he’ll be catching heck from Boreen for slipping on his diet.  But, what’s a few Johnny Ribs and feet when you’re doing heroic things for the country, right?  Ho , ho, ho, this all gives new meaning to Pork Barreling!

HP does not condone Harper’s method of approach to Swine Fly preparation in Canada, but fully sanctions bludgeoning John Baird.

Who Does God Love Best?

 Two leaders of neighbouring nations.  Both believe in God.  Or is that Gawd, because both seem to have warped senses when it come s to indigenous peoples.  Hey, FIRST NATIONS, buddies!  

The great Hawaiian/Black/White hope, Mr. Obama supported the Akaka Bill during his run for the presidential RACE.  Senator Danial Akaka of Hawaii has been pushing his vision of placing native Hawaiians on a reservation system.  The bill comes under the P.R. nomicker of Hawaiian  sovereignty  but is nothing but a dark-side lark designed to compromise when really, there is no compromise.  It’s attractions are all about money and housing and in the end would save the illegal State of Hawaii and Federal Government the billions of dollars owed to the Kingdom of Hawaii.

At the same time Obama wants to do away with Native Indian Reservations and way of life , say what?Can you say, “GENOCIDE”?  Seems assimilation, which Prime Minister Stephen Harper advocates, is the name of the game , and brothers and sisters, that’s one rough game , perhaps akin to Rugby if one had to choose a sport (and ain’t it interesting that rugby’s invention was for British royalty and upper class?).  

Stephen Harper’s mentor is Tom Flanagan, the U. of Calgary’s ‘Prince of Darkness” as dubbed by the media.  He’s the brainchild behind assimilation.  Seems Canada thinks they could save a whack of dough too by that outdate, outmoded concept of compromise.  There is none.  It’s , er , black and white, Rule of Law, everything and anything in between that along with Canada’s counterparts in the U.S. of A..  And what does Rule of Law say – based on Queen Anne’s STILL STANDING PROCLAMATION – The U.S.A. and Canada must deal with First Nations on a nation to nation basis with a third neutral party…Q.A. foresaw what the new governments would get up to..the usual rape, pillage, plunder, genocide that Britain historically bestowed on what the Empire conquered.  Tut tut!!!!

Harper wants to hit First Nations with a Tobacco War.  How come this trade item , a cultural commodity and sacred herb of First Nations gets the clamps put on it , while the big tobacco giants get off scott free for all their illegal activities???  How come Mohawk Clan Mothers get arrested and beaten by Canadian Border Guards for doing….nothing?!?!?!?!?

So who does God love better?  Neither,  because , no matter what name you give to the universe’s higher power the basis of spirituality does not recognize human judgement…ultimatley both will be forgiven but that doesn’t eliminate the cracks they’ll accrue on their journey , cracks that are self-induced because if you go against the Laws of Nature, you’re gonna get hit by trying to force your ways.  That’s just the way it is and the Great White Hopeless, Stephen Harper, and the Great Democratic Hope, Barack-O-Mania, in the end are no better then each other.  You can use God”s name all you want but that don’t do the trick when the gig is up, and the gig is up now.  GOVERNANCE is what is needed at this point in time, not politics….politics belong in the garbage can…I have no idea if it can be recycled.  

Shit, I don’t know what to say about all the bullshit , I’m going for a swim in the Hawaiian ocean and wash the negativity on me from even thinking about the dark side with the warm salt water.  Surf’s Up!

NATO To Send F-Troop to Afghanistan

NATO allies pledge more non-combat troops for Afghanistan

Those wacko boys from F-Troop will be the main corp of pledged, non-combative troops to Afghanistan.  An anonymous NATO spokesperson said the zany crew will be playing zany pranks on enemies, as well as slapstick gags and basic tonque sticking out.   “We feel the enemy (whoever that is) will double over with laughter and the Afghan community at large will benefit from the humour” said the un-named person.  

There are also plans to enlist Gomer Pyle and , as NATO is a North ATLANTIC treaty, plans are afoot to airdrop a ship and have it manned by McHale’s Navy.  

All in all , some progress from NATO and assurances for President Karzai and his wardrobe department.

Steve Upset by Afghanistan Moves to Women Shopping At Wallmart

 (Photo: Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper with wife, Laureen, in Sears Burka.  Laureen is seated next to Beverly Oda.).

  You can read it all here in a click…or just know that since Afghanistan President Karzai opened the door for Wallmart to set up in Afghanistan and sell Burkas, Stephen Harper is upset, nay, deeply troubled!!!

“This takes Afghani woman backwards.  I had set it up so Sears would be the number one burka vendor there, to you know, give women a more upscale mode and feel better about themselves.  My wife, Laureen, is practically in tears.  She was overjoyed when my salary allowed her to buy pastel un-power suits at Sears, she knows directly what it’s like to have to suffer and go to Walmart.  

I let Karzai know it’s not fair that he shops from the Peterman catalogue while the girls have to stoop to the big W.  He’s got some votes to take into consideration, it’s election time there, but I think this was a mistake and an afront to women.  There’s just some things that don’t wash in my book and one of them is placing women at disadvantage over shopping.”