Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

Ha Hoo! Parishioners, oh parishioners! Wake up out of your Sunday Slumber so you can put more $$$ in the plate.

From Crystal 1:23: Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Steve. Hark, the Harold from the Red Green Show sings, glory to Stephen King or anyone named Stephen. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray Jack Lord to lie beside me when I wake. Rock Hudson of ages, thy salvation, I will never believe he was gay and Mark Foley et al aren’t , it is a cover-up for a massive campaign against the sin of sodomy.

Speaking of sodomy, Boreen admitted to me she wants it ‘you know where’ but Stephen is too busy giving that out to Canadians. I had her confess to Father Ben Dover and he had her say 10 hail Bloody Mary ‘s. Remember, we here at the Xtian Alliance Reform Missionary Position Church seek to forgive then make them pay.

Have a good Canada day tomorrow and don’t forget about our savage, heathen, First Nations friends….convert one today!

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HAPPY FIRST NATIONS DAY!!!!