The Wannabes and the Gottabes (6N vs. G8)

FOR KAHENTINETHA HORN’S TAKE ON THIS CLICK HERE

Who’s this guy? There’s nothing wrong with ‘wannabe indians’…it shows interest in the culture, empathy with the struggles and celebration of the ways. The name is unfortunate, but. Then there’s the ‘gottabes’…those who somehow have convinced themselves they are native in a past life, or have the right to claim land because they are so spiritually elevated ‘they know best’. These are the self-appointed gurus of life (come in every colour, stripes may or may not be included).

Guillaume ‘Billy’ Carle, a buddy of Phil Fontaine (=apple) seems to be a gottabe. He’s promoting his company, Confederation of Aboriginal People of Canada (CONC…or is that CONQueror?) that promotes non-status , non-native and maybe even cats and dogs to join…all in the name of protecting ‘their’ culture. Who’s culture? This Quebec man of European heritage? Natives? It’s a hocus pocus money operation no doubt living off government grants and their few member’s fees. Nothing like the conqueror telling natives how to do things…seen and heard it before. There’s many, many a non-native who knows to suggest, to learn, to help…it’s not done with ego.

Recently the Six Nation Clan Mothers gave him the boot …speaking of which, why all the media attention to the G8 and only negative to the 6N??? Oh, I forgot, Canada doesn’t like to regard it’s own laws….silly me! Let’s divert to the world stage. Good show so far, eh? A bunch of people going yay, nay, maybe.

Please read Kahentinetha Horn’s article on this flim-flam man…it will get you roaring for sure.

BTW, I photoshopped this ‘gottabe’ …seeing as he’s speaking up for the June 29th day of protest in his perception of his ’spiritually correct’ role of ‘I am everyman, my home is everywhere’ (gag me), I thought I’d make him look how he sees himself:

Does he cut it? Naw!
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FOR KAHENTENITHA HORN’S TAKE ON THIS CLICK HERE

Feel Red Friday

While Prime Minister Harper had to defend his words on African Aid and help talk the Gr8 Scumpit into compromise on greenhouse gas emissions, French President Nicolas Sarkozy took some time with the PM to teach him how to better smooth over the public:

Nick: Smoother, Stephane, like you are touching a piece of red velvet.
Steve: It’s Stephen, not Stephane.
Nick: Not Stephane?
Steve: No. Stee-ven, like EVE.
Nick: Ah, oui, you are like Eve. No matter your personal life, Eve, use your hands to gesture in a firm but tender manner. Eese like stroking a woman.
Steve: Or like I’m patting a cat?
Nick: Oui, you can say cat if that’s what you want to call it. Hey, anonymous guy beside me, don’t do that with your hand yet! See, Eve, like Monsieur Anonymous, you go for yourself too quickly. Please ‘the cat’ first.
Steve: Gotcha. Hey, could you at least call me Yves?
Nick: Why so fickle, Eve, one name one minute, another the next. You Canadians, what is it about your identity your identity crisis?
Steve: What identity?
Nick: Exactamonte!

*Alison at Creekside and Montreal Simon have both posted Steve at G8/Paris Hilton. Both very funny.

Gr8-test Hits…Buy the CD today!

Georgie and Vladamir are flirting again over their missiles. George says it’s ok though, as he calls his friend , ‘Vladamir’. The two love to joke around and have recorded a new CD to raise money for the Gr8 Scumpit’s ‘Sponsor a Wealthy Child To Harvard’ trust fund.

Here’s a couple of songs from the hit CD:

Dough, Raygun, Me

Vlad , a dear, a Russian dear

Tony, he’s like a golden son

Me a name I hold in esteem

Jose, he should start to run

Angela, she should be pulling thread

Nicolas, he won and I’m so glad

Steve, he eats jam and bread…

That will bring us back to Vlad, Vlad, Vlad, Vlad…(repeat copious amounts of times)

Bad, Bad, Vladamir

Well the south side of Moscow
Is the bad for lots of shootin’
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Vladamir Putin

Now Vlad is more than trouble
You see he stand bout five foot four
All the downtown ladies call him Napolean
All the mens just call him Stalin

Chorus:
And its bad, bad, Vladamir Putin
The baddest man in the whole damn town
Badder than old king kong
And meaner than a junkyard dog

Now Vladamir he’s a gambler
But his treads aren’t Karzai clothes
And he likes to shove his diamond rings
Right up George’s nose
He got custom oil rig rentals
He got Eldorado mines too
He got a 32 gun in his pocket for fun
He got a razor in his shoe

(chorus)

Well friday bout a week ago
Vlad was shootin dice
And at the edge of the bar
Sat a girl named G8
And ooh that girl looked nice
Well he cast his eyes upon her
And the trouble soon began
And Vladamir Putin learned a lesson
‘Bout messin with a Yankee man

Well the two men took to fightin
And when they pulled them from the floor
Vladmir looked like a jigsaw puzzle
With a couple of pieces gone

And Georgie he had black eyes
And a bruised up little scrotum
That just goes to show ya
Never mess around with votin’
(chorus)

Harper and The G8 Summit

OH NO! Canada is sending Harper off the the Gr8 Scummit again! This time he’s set on brokering a deal between the U.S. and Europe on greenhouse gas emmissions (backing the U.Arse of course). LIKE HE REALLY THINKS HE CAN DO IT???

Face it, Stephen Harper is a ninny. Just look at him…gets a bit tipsy, tries to cop a feel from Governor General Michaelle Jean, and looks like Mr. Bean meets Rodney Dangerfield. People keep supporting this guy? Gimme a break…hopefully he’ll be Mr. Has-Bean in no time short.

Oh, remember this shot of Steve from last year’s Gr8? Yup, a real international broker, a natural.
*no offense to Mr. Bean

Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

Ha Hoo! Oh parishioners!!! Today we look at Mark. Well, we don’t really LOOK at him, rather, we heed his words. Hmm, perhaps not so much heed as evaluate. No, that wouldn’t be right either. We take in the signifigance of what he’s saying. Yes, I think that’s it.

You know, I had a boy sit beside me in grade 3 who’s name was Mark. We used to say, “What do you call a man correcting schoolwork? Mark”. Hoo hoo hoo. Anways, I digress. “Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.” — Mark 16:9. Let’s face it, this lady was a tart and Jezebel. Never mind what modern theology may teach and that scholars have found Mark et al were jealous of her close relationship with The Babe in Swaddlings. Mark my word, hoo hoo, if she had of saved her cherry, like myself, she never would have had to have devils cast out.

This atheist slut probably even had , heh hem, oh, can I say it…abortions!! Never mind the etymology of the word means ‘to rise away from’, that’s just fodder for those spiritual types who think they have one over on religion. NO! NO! We must stick hard to the words and interpretations of the biggest political novel ever written….THE BIBLE!

Oops, I seem to have gotten carried away again. Flowers. Yes , who will volunteer to do the flowers next week?

Oh Puck Off!!!

Arnold Schwarzenngger, the grinning ‘Governator’ of California, was up to Ottawa to talk Steve about movie piracy in Canada. Arnie also told Michigan automakes to ‘get off their butts’ and prepare for the green revolution, California being ahead of the game. Ontario auto manufacturers were not present at the speech owing to the fact there’s none left. However, Arnie did get Premier Dalton MacGuinty to sign an agreement to be manufacturing edible cars by 2012.

Arnie: Vell Steve, how do you like your hockey jersey?
Steve: Great. Not as much as the Hollywood make-over you gave me though.
Arnie: Ja, just wait till the little chickadees vill all chase you.
Steve: Really?
Arnie: Ja, und it vill get your mommy off your back too.
Steve: You can’t talk about my wife that way!
Arnie: See, you are tougher already! No, dumbkoff, I mean your mother!
Steve: Oh, well I don’t really want the apron strings cut.
Arnie: Zat’s eet, ve will have to book you into Scientology too.
Steve: But what about the Canadian Missionary Alliance Church?
Arnie: Vat about it? Do you vant to be a man or a moose?
Steve: Haha, good Canadian joke, Arnie!
Arnie: Vat do you mean?
Steve: Er, nevermind, but these edible cars…tell me more.
Arnie: Ve mix ze biodiesel vit sugar, deep fry ze bodies und voila!
Steve: Sugar? I’m in!