OH NO ANOTHER MEME!!!

I’ve been tagged by JJ at Unrepentant Old Hippie, and Dave at The Galloping Beaver.

Here are the rules which must be posted:
8 Random Facts/Habits: First the rules as copied and pasted from GB

1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. at family get togethers i love to photoshop the pics and reverse the genders. all the women and girls in the family love it and send in more pics of themselves to get done. the men and boys do not like it.

2. when i give my dog a treat i like to put it in my mouth and have her take it from me that way.

3. there is nothing better then stoned wheat thins that have the dark brown edges. i eat around them then save the dark edges for last. oh ya!

4. since a child and i still do it, i cut my toast every morning so there is the circle edge half and the rectangular edge half. the rectangle must be eaten first because it is the girl and girls go first. the circle is the boy and gets eaten last.

5. i smoke like a chimney and loathe it when people who say anything about it. i know the harms and dangers, duh! i don’t want to quit yet. the will has to be there. i pinch the ends of my cigarettes with my thumbnail.

6. i have a marvellous collection of deer bones, antlers, feathers and rocks.

7. i brought a dog back to life that had been hit and run through my teachings and gift. there were witnesses to this. ultimatley it is Great Spirit working through me that did this.

8. i still have a security ‘blankie’ i call ‘smelly’ and cuddle with it.

i will not tag anyone because i don’t feel like it. THERE!

What The Fuck? Friday

*Mark at Slap Upside the Head has the most bizarre post about some religious Russians cleansing a river after a cruise ship with gays sailed it!!!!

*Talk about vile hate…The Galloping Beaver has trackbacked a post from
‘The Right Girl’ that spews venom at First Nations.

In an interesting turn of events, the OPP have issued warpaint and tomahawks to their finest. Tomahawk doubles as opium pipe for after a hard days work. Next on the OPP’s list will be black issue uniforms with brocade lacing in a fine linen for when they march upon gays. HV says ‘stay tuned’ for RCMP ‘pro-life’ red serge with fetuses on the epulets. What’s policing without fashion?
JUNE 29 DAY OF PROTEST

9:00 am. Discussions with Shawn Brant to open up Number 2 to Marysville. Little Mouselini Fantino said he has a present for Shawn Brant that he wants to give him within the hour. The OPP closed the TransCanada Highway 401. The CN CP rail were closed by the rail companies. They put up the blockades. Are they turning Indian? At any rate, now we know how to close down the colonial operation. We just have to say we’re g0ing to do it and they do it themselves. Shawn Brant said, “We have been pre-empted by CN”.

Maybe the situation isn’t so funny after all.

‘Scout Doesn’t Get It’ Friday

Not that I’m always on top of everything, however I lack the skill of language (my syntax proves that). I speak english and an ancient indigenous dialect….that’s it. They passed me in grade 9 french if i promised not to take it in grade ten….deal!

My blogstats show a tag to a French (as in Parisian) site….20Minutes. It’s for the ‘Tony of Arabia’ post. I can’t tell if the mention of Harper Valley is in a letter, feedback or what. Here’s the french site with the page that has the link to HV:

http://www.20minutes.fr/article/167223/20070627-Monde-Qui-va-pleurer-Seulement-un-petit-nombre.php

Here’s the englisih translation but I’m lost on it:

http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=fr&u=http://www.20minutes.fr/&sa=X&oi=translate&resnum=1&ct=result&prev=/search%3Fq%3D20%2Bminutes%2Bfrench%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG

If anyone can solve this mystery I promise that Q will send you 25 cents.

Tony of Arabia…or ‘Will the Poodle Hump Camels?’

That does it…ten years of Tony ‘The Poodle’ Blair, British PM, has paced up those boxes and moved out of #10 Downing.  He’s been appointed  as Mid East Envoy and I can hear the camels running for cover now.

Pip pip, Tone, old boy. Let’s hope Gordon Brown isn’t the opportunist you are. But what do you expect from a former rock band promoter? Cheerio!

Famous Stupid People #22

GREAT AUNTY BERTHA CORRECTLY GUESSED JOHN BAIRD….review of her blog (again and this puts in her first place tie with ‘the anon’) will come later this eve.

This time it’s a male…..btw, the stats for top winners are ‘The Anon = 3 wins, JJ=2 wins, GAB=2 wins, Sheena= 2 wins, Q= 2 wins
RULES ON THE SIDEBAR

Whatever happened to ‘The Anon’? I miss miss him (or her).

Will Someone Tell Steve That Pride Week Is Over?

This is a Test…do not adjust your monitor

We interupt today’s regular programming of ‘Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist’ to bring you this important notice and test:

JOHN HOWARD, PM OF AUSTRALIA IS BANNING ALCOHOL AND PORNOGRAPHY FOR ABORIGINAL PEOPLES.    Think similar things aren’t  happening in Canada?

Considering there was no alcohol, child abuse or pornography in Australia before the colonists came, HP suggests John Howard arrest himself.   It’s obvious his mother’s side came to Oz as penal system guards, and his father’s side is from prisoner stock.

That being the case, his left side should cuff, ball and chain his right side and pick him up by the collar and lead him off to some Papillion  penal colony where he can guard himself while living amongst his mirror  images.

Howard has been suffering from ‘dictatorshipitis’ , an unchecked pandemic sweeping the globe.  It’s thought he contracted it from Vice-president Dick Cheney while the VP was visiting Howard on a Koori hunting trip.

Howard is considered armed, legged and dangerous…please contact First People’s authorities if seen, and ensure his grandchildren aren’t anywhere near him.  Bottoms up, Howard, you raging lunactic!

The test? Are YOU prepared to stand alongside Canada’s First Peoples when the shit hits the fan?

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thanks to Wandering Coyote for the heads-up.

Gay Pride Week Toronto…Steve, you dreamboat!

…or is that shipwreck?

May this be a fun lgbt week everywhere! Toronto’s pride week is one of the largest in the world.So to my lgbt friends everywhere…have a good one!

This post created especially for JJ who would like to see Steve as the leather Village guy….and Bruce who denies Harper would ever be on ‘his team’.

Please check out Canuk Attitude, Slap Upside the Head, Kalamaka Rainbow, Montreal Simon….just a few of the blogs dedicated to gaydom.

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While Florida has their ‘world’s ugliest dog contest’ so does marin county…this year’s winner: Elwood, a chinese crested/chihouha

See Red Friday (ride ‘em, Steve-boy)

The aggitation has begun as white supremecists sprayed swaztikas on an aboriginal center in Quebec. And the ‘plot thickens’ while AFN Chief Phil Fontaine of Goof met with the RCMP and other police forces…gee, couldn’t have anything to do with June 29th Day of Solidarity with First Nations, could it, and Steve and Phil seeming to think injuns=violence???

Steve: Every now and then I like to wear my cowboy gear…Boreen loves it when I wear chaps. The red eyes? Er, contact lenses for uv rays. Honest, I’m not angry at the savage injuns. They deserve every right to stay on their reservations and support themselves. High time they all worked and quit drinking and drugs. Phil and I are working on a scheme with Guillaume Carle, just basic land grab stuff.

Never mind what JJ says about me skipping out of Commons for the summer during Gay Pride week. I have nothing against homos or injuns or homo-injuns. I wish I had my body against them but I can’t ‘come out’ so I’ll wage cowboy war instead.

Whaddya think, should I look more Village People cowboy, or will this John Howard hat do?

The Passion of the Steve (Commons is out for Summer)

The Commons is out for the summer and MP’s are going home. Steve bids a quick farewell to parliamentary aide, Mr. Hayseus Christo.

Photoshop inspired by Q of North of Center’s lastest post.

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Amelopsis’ Garden has a startling post on the use of dog and cat hair as fur trim.

Timethief at Stolen Moments has a petition to sign for closed containment salmon farming.

Aw, Poor Baby!

Every now and then a pic comes along that doesn’t need photoshopping. From the PM’s own photo gallery, here’s Steve Joe at the NHL awards, doing some blurb for the Lester B. Pearson Award.

Ironic, isn’t it? One of Canada’s worst PM’s handing out an award by one of Canada’s greatest PM’s. No wonder Steve looks so down…he can’t touch Pearson’s legacy. But being the good armchair politician that he is, I’m sure Steve will create something like ‘Best Xtian Player’ or ‘Most Goals Scored by an Anti-Abortionist’.

Think of the trophies….The Golden Fetus, Jesus in a Hockey Suit, Hockey Stick with Gold Emobossed Cross, the list is endless. Can’t wait till he tries to order ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ said before each game…then he can sit like Emporer Constantine and watch the Ottawa Pistics try defeat the Mohawk Lions. Now what’s wrong with THAT picture???

Roooooaaaaaarrrrrrr!!!!

Famous Stupid People # 21

TA DA DA DAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! Wandering Coyote correctly guessed Angela Merckel !

Scout will get to writing a review of her blog a bit later…right now i’m doing my best to elicit sympathy as have mild pneumonia AGAIN!!!

Know Your Neo-Con Rhetoric?

From TomDispatch via Motherjones….take the 11 question quiz.

Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

Ha hoo! Parishioners! Today’s sermon is from Battle Star Galactica 5:23. “For remember, first and foremost, we are colonizers looking for Kobol. If we can’t find Kobol, we’ll create it. Yay though our enemies The Cylon Alliance disguises themselves as Left Wing, Center, Gays, Indians, blue-collar, rainbow children, Goddess worshipping heathen pagan slovenly savage souls, we shall not falter.

Yay though I have walked through the valley of death I feared not because I carried a big wand. Thy rod and thy staff penetrateth me (men say: I bendeth over). Away in a manger, Good King Wensalasass sang Noel while shepards washed their socks by night.

For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever, amen.”

Now, I’ll leave you with that and must dash off to 24 Sussex (Stephen and Boreen want to change it to Susabstanence). Please tidy up after and no dipping in the plate…and I mean you in particular, JJ!

World’s Ugliest Dogs

I may be a bit behind the times but the other week my young friend Hailey pointed out to me the past winner of ugliest dog in the world, Sam. WHOA!!! Every year Florida holds the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest. This year a Chinese Crested named Archie won…but then he had no competition from Sam, who passed away. Sam was a thrice times title holder.

Check out why:

Happy Saturday, hope you’re reading this while eating
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*Note: FINALLY someone’s done a good charicature of Steve!!! Check out Alison from Creeksides photoshop.

For an update on Canadian Gay news, check out ‘mini slaps’ on Slap Upside the Head.

Red-X Friday

pic liberated from MNN

“This is a historic day”. Yes, HP and MNN have negotiated for the rights to use this story on Red-X. Scout said: Give me 5 cents and I’ll post your story”
Mnn: 10 cents.
Scout: 10 cents? No way. How about this, I give you 25 cents to use it.
MNN: Cheapskate. We”ll right you a cheque for a thousand dollars.
Scout: What are you, Scottish Indians? I’m giving you $5,000. Final offer.

The result was total liberation.

Hey Steve…wanna wear red – read this!
From MNN:
INFAMOUS INDIGENOUS SAGE “RED-X” TELLS THE FEDS: “QUIT BLOWING SMOKE UP OUR BUTTS” REGARDING JUNE 29TH DAY OF ACTION & LAND CLAIM SETTLEMENT PROPOSAL

MNN. June 12, 2007. Ottawa is asking Phil Fontaine, the Walkie-Talkie Wizard of the AFN [Assembly of First Nations] to order us to stop expressing ourselves on June 29th and to go back into our hole. The Red-X asked, “Is [Prime Minister] Steve Harper responsible for wiping every Canadian’s butt? Is George Bush at fault for every American’s stupidity?” Phil’s not our leader. He’s theirs. We don’t pay him. They do. This double talk is so annoying.

The Red-X arrived on his silver eagle from the west where the sun never sleeps, to look over our vast great expanse of Indigenous territory, now scarred and polluted by centuries of cruel occupation. MNN was so lucky to catch him for this short interview. Here are a few of his words of wisdom.

The Knight is Dark

Well, well, well, Mr.’s Harper, Fontaine and Prentice. Looks like you all want to be the knights in shining armor and make that great legacy, lest a CN Rail engine goes up your collective arses. Guess you all grew up watching the same movies.

Harper announced his plans to ‘revolutionize’ the native land claim resolution process and he, Fontaine and Prentice are giggling with glee, for now, while they sit upon their steeds. OH OH boys! Look out….here comes THE TRUTH!!!

Let’s see, how much was the Kelowna accord that Harper ripped up going to cost? And now he’s going to dedicate $250 miilion a year for ten years to ‘solve the problem’? And WHAT is the truth of the matter? No matter what, claims have to be dealt with on a nation to nation basis…Harper has decided to set up an independant tribunal. Harper: “Instead of letting disputes over land and compensation drag on forever, fueling anger, frustration and uncertainty, they will be solved once and for all by impartial judges,”. Oh, I see…and who will these judges be, Steve? A panel made up of international diplomats? Steve, Canadian judges have been disregarding Canada’s own Rule of Law for , hmm, centuries…how will you ensure this tribunal will have no interests?

Ah yes, compromise…let’s give injuns bits of their land back, some sovereignty (note: some), but no mineral rights….well, hey, maybe there will be a cut to keep people happy.

Yoo hoo, Stevie! How come you recognize Quebec as a nation but not Indian Nations, as set out in ….READY…..TA DA……THE LAW!! Why don’t you just do your job as PM and order judges, premiers etc. to follow the law? Why don’t you follow the law, Stephen Joseph Harper? OH, I see , it’s too simple and you think you can convince the old ‘compromise’ game….you know, let’s move forward , win/win and all that. Do you really think Chief Terry Nelson is going to call off June 29th, the Day of Solidarity With First Nations?

Sir Lances BoilsAlot Harper sure knows how to bend Fontaine. Sir Philip Fountain of Goofs and Lord James Apprentass get to ride along side for the jousts that will follow. If you think natives will play Guinivere, send yourself a chain mail letter.

And speaking of following the law, how about signing this international online petition from the 6N Clan Moms….read it….you’ll learn the LAW.

BTW, Steve, Phil and Jim…you might try applying to Ajax as the white night, or to Monty Python as The Knights of Knickers’. Quit playing heroes, boys, and just do your job.
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*CBC’s follow up interview with Jim Prentice. Prentice says this new deal will help ensure June 29th is a peaceful day…what, like people gathering to support First Nations is automatically not peaceful? Seems we have some stereotyping and spin here because who’s been shooting and tasering gathered, unarmed natives for decades now? Prentice, you live in a dream world, turn off your t.v.!!

Congratulations Gordon Campbell…NOT!

And what has B.C. Premier Gordon Campbell been up to lately? While giving legislature members pay raises of 30-50%, plus tidy pension packets, he’s managed to nealty bury himslef in the news over painting the new C super class ferry with designs to promote the Olympics. Good Gordo…meantime health care cut backs continue and the disenfranchised suffer more. Ah but what’s the point of bitching when, after all, the 2010 Olympics will benefit so many (read=business). You and I , the commoners, won’t benefit of course.

Sure, ya gotta hand it to the guy with ice in his veins…who else would attempt to take bus passes away from seniors or cut off their medical prescription funding? Such a nice man…nice enough to throw to the sharks from aboard one of the new super ferries. THE OLYMPRICKS…that’s Gord’s crew.

Argh, maties and Campbell, walk the plank like men!

If Only They Were Normal #20, Vladimir Putin

OK, so sometimes it can be easy to cheer for Putin when he doesn’t buy into U.S. policy, and he’s doing things like aligning Russia with China and the EEC. But basically the guy’s a dink, rules with an iron fist, and won’t leave other countries alone. Russia is a stinking polluted mess selling it’s resources at any cost. So , if Vladimir Putin were normal:

“Dah. I have gone back to the ways of my ancestors and am acting as shaman for the country. Socialism, the circle, not communism combined with faux western democracy. I’ll beat this drum till the Earth is healed and promise to keep my missile in my pocket. Nyet to fucking around with other countries…Russia has to concentrate on Russia and reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 500%. Vodka is out, shrooms are in! We have to take the magical ride together and expand our consciousness if we’re to get out of this mess.

The Steppes are calling, no more G8 stuff, it’s indigenous strength from now on… Gorbachev, eat my cariboo hide!

Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

Ha Hoo! Parishioners! Today’s sermon will be short as I’ve been summoned to Europe. Rember, a little birdie told you this, but Mr. Harper has asked me to help tide things over his words about African Aid. It seems the good PM has some trouble explaining what the missionary position is there. My, my, the world seems to construe religion and sex as some abhorent mixup, but let me tell you…if we were all to assume missionary position a man could simply get his job done while we lay there saying Hail Mary’s, then there would be more time to devout to Jack Lord.

Hence today I shall leave you with The Good Book (not to be mistaken for T.V. Guide) and ask you to read Luke Warm, Timothy Leery, and Mark My Word. Have fun, behave, and if I’m lucky enough I’ll be able to have a chat with Boreen and get that tingly sensation all over again.
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FOR KAHENTINETHA HORN’S TAKE ON HARPER AND AFRICAN AID THAT TIES INTO THE ‘WANNABES GOTTABES’ POST BELOW CLICK HERE.