Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist
March 18, 2007 at 3:32 am 5 comments
Ha Hoo! Parishioners!!! This is the 4th day of Lentil. Heed these words:
Josh-Around (4:19-24);5:9-12
[The people came up out of the Michael Jordan mode on the tenth day of the first month, and they camped it up in Guygal on the east border of Jericho Beach. Those twelve stoners, which they had taken out of the Michael Jordan, Josh-Around set up in Guygal, saying to the Deadheads, "When your children ask their parents in time to come, 'What do these stoners mean?' then you shall let your children know, 'Deadheads crossed over the Michael Jordan phase here on dry ground.' For the Jack LORD your God dried up the waters of the Michael Jordan Fan Club for you until you cross dressed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red Commie Pinkos, which he dried up for us until we cross dressed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the LORD is Size XLarge, and so that you may fear the Jack LORD your God forever, because fear is just so trendy"]
Jack LORD said to Josh-Around, “Today I have rolled a blunt for you to disgrace Egypt.” And so that place is called Guygal to this day.
While the Deadhheads were camped in Guygal they kept the hangover in the evening on the fourteenth day of the month in the plains of Jericho Beach. On the day after the hangover, on that very day, they had the munchies and ate the produce of the land, unleavened cakes, parched grain and Mars Bars. The manna ceased on the day they ate the produce of the land, and the Deadheads no longer had manna; they ate the crops of the land of Canada that year.
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Hello, caller number one….what’s that? You think Toblerone or Kit Kat is better to eat? Shout it out….go ahead, next caller?
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PAYPAL
1.
Q | March 18, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Yes, fear is trendy in the land of Michael Jordan and apparently thou hast a thing or two for the Jack Lord.
Be thou tempted sister?
2.
jj | March 19, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Thank you thank you, crystal methodist. Your Sunday prayers are saving my life. But next time you’re talking to God, can you tell her I want a new Vette?
3.
scout | March 20, 2007 at 1:19 am
Q, i confess….i am double tempted, especially after seeing a hawaii 5-0 re-run at a friend’s a few weeks ago (what a gawd awful show, but loved it as a kid, and jack lord was never my cup of tea). now micheal jordon, hmmmmm.
jj…..i’ve put in your order…that’s a world war 2 vette, right? hoo hoo haa haa, joking my litle sheep. but those who serve the lord and listen to my sermons get amply rewarded if they vote the RIGHT way, if you know what i mean.
4.
sheena | March 23, 2007 at 11:40 am
Hey Scout, I saw a USA Today article on the Hawaiian land disputes on Molokai yesterday. Is that the stuff you got involved with?
5.
harpervalley | March 23, 2007 at 3:51 pm
thanks sheena….i’ve been missing the hawaiian news whilst on maui, i’ll check it out.