Archive for December, 2006
CTV reports that a Russian spy has been deported. Stockwell, of course, is taking credit even though somewhere in someone’s archives there’s a good report on him giving the libs shit for not being fair to the guy…something like that, you know how concerned i am at making this a journalism site.
The CTV story mentions Paul William Hampell as being part of the ‘feared’ KGB…guess the government is concerned Russia will uncover Steve’s plot to take over the world. Confiscated items from this ‘dangerous’ spy include:
A fraudulent Ontario birth certificate in a travel pouch under his shirt
A Canadian passport
$7,800 in five different currencies
Several bank and credit cards
Index cards with detailed notes about Canadian history
Five SIM cards, used for when a cellphone user changes countries; several were password-protected
Two digital cameras
A shortwave radio
I know I’m afraid….very afraid. Stockwell, thanks for saving the Cuntry.
A MUSLIM CHRISTMAS
Come they told me a’Ramdamadumb
An arab babe to see a’Ramadamdumb
Brown skinned brown eyed you’ll see a’Ramadamdumb
So shocking you will pee a Ramadamdum Ramadamdumb Ramadamdumb
Religious myth whle you sit on a knee
a Ramadamdumb , sucking my thumb
“Fellow Canadians, Quebecers and Albertans. Boreen, Roachel, Bin and myself wish you Glad Tidings on this Holy Day of the birth of the white skinned, blue-eyed Jesus (even though our calendar is way off from back then). I will continue to govern as the Babe in Swaddlings wishes me to and work our way towards the rapture (we’re creating it because the Bible told us so).
Once we have wiped out the earth to prove we are right, we will, er, um, well, I guess we’ll be in heaven and all you heathens will be in hell. It’s not that we want to destroy earth, it’s because we have to. We’re not insecure, honest.
Merry Christmas from Harper Corp.
Today I will discuss Same Person Marriage. This is sanctioned by the Missionary Alliance Church, and in fact encouraged as per Timothy Leery 3:25 “Taketh thy hand and place it on thy bossom and crotch whilst shining in the divine psychodelic light of G.O.D. (Great Orgasmic Dogma). “
As a spinster I have gone ahead and married myself and joined in holy union with my right hand, whom I’ve name ‘Stephen’. The church advocates sacred vows amonst oneself to help prevent homosexuality, AIDS/HIV, marriages that are not for procreation, and to help prevent lumbago.
I have taken the six week course in SPM and am now a qualified councellor so can answer your questions. JJ, I believe you have some enquiries. Hello, caller number one, is that you, Q?
1-900-meth. At $2/minute, who can lose?
Please, no election, pah rup pah pah pum
I can’t get an erection, pah rup pah pah pum
Dion and Duceppe too, pah rup pah pah pum
Stop talking about my poo, pah rup pah pah pum, rap pah pum , rap pah pah pum
So to honour me, pah rap pah pah pum
While I pick my bum.