And the Winner is….RASTA STEVE!

Rasta Steve beats out Aryan Ken Doll by only a few votes, as the man who is fucking us all.

Now, do we want him with stubble, a beard, moustache, goatee……..i’ll do the images as the day goes by then create a poll (as fast as my dripping nose will allow and inbetween helping the landlord’s kids witih their haloween costumes).

Deep Desecration

Deep Integration? Why those cheeky corporations and politicians! Here I thought they were attempting to move to a more romantic setting before they fucked us and maybe even let us have some pleasure along the way instead of the virtual gang bang it’s become. Imagine Bush, Harper and Fox (then his little predesseser calderon) coming into your bedroom and plying you with their corporate buddies? Double yuck, ew. But that’s what’s happening in the political arena and Deep Integration doesn’t mean dimming the lights and spinning some slow tunes.

6N Clan Mother Kahentenitha Horn likens it to Deep Impact, and she’s right on when she writes, ‘The plan is ‘deep subjugation’ of everybody on Turtle Island to U.S. dictates.’ Please read the article, you’ll be glad you did.

Personally I see the scope of damage over the last few centuries as total desecration of Turtle Island , but there’s a reason turtle’s have hard shells. In this case the bangers have picked on a snapper, and everything’s getting ready to bite them hard on their asses. Those with conqueror attitute, no matter what race, are gonna be running home to mamma witih their sore butts once the economy crashes , their wars continue backlashes, and global warming makes for bad skin rashes….then who’s going to be doing the 100 yard dashes? The lads and lasses who’s bashes and lashes killed too many and the ashes of injustice and tyrannical mashes that created nuclear flashes sliced them with their own swords, how’s that for slashes? put them in the trashes!!!! Shout it now: put them in the trashes. Good, sing again, we don’t want clashes, we want white doves and sashes!

Kim Jong Sings ‘I’m Sorry’

North Korea bad boy Kim Jong has expressed regret over testing nukes. The little guy immediatley hit the recording studios and sang his rendition of Brenda Lee’s big time hit.

I’m sorry, so sorry
That I was such a fool
I didn’t know
Sanctions could be so cruel
Oh, oh oh oh,
Uh-oh
Oh, yes.

You tell me mistakes
Are part of being Napolean
But that don’t right
The wrong that’s done

(spoken)
(I’m sorry) I’m sorry
(so sorry) So sorry
Please accept my apology
I lost my mind
And I’m blind from the flash to see
OH, oh oh oh
Uh-oh U.S. and China behind Japanese
Oh, yes

*reports today say Condi-deville has heard no apology from kim jong.

Famous Stupid People #12

EVERYONE LOVES A PARADE AND THEY’LL BE ONE SOMEWHERE FOR THE ANON who correctly guessed Augusto Pinochet. Heh, I bet Sheena’s cursing as I’m sure her ‘is he still active politically’ question gave it away.

*A few posts down, “How do you want Harper to Look?’, Rasta Steve and Aryian Ken Doll Steve are running neck in neck. You can vote more then once, so go for it and I’ll close the results over the weekend.

**LISTEN TO CBC’s ‘AS IT HAPPEN’S’ CAROL OFF VIRTUALLY KILL RONA AMBROSE. Off is one of Canada’s best journalists and while she’ll be missed ‘in the field’ her studio appointment is the best thing to happen for ‘as it happens’ in a long time. Mother Corp’s exploding arse logo and politcially motivated demise can’t top having Off onboard….I’m sure Harpoon would never consent to an interview with her

***Verbena-19 has a report on MacKay’s fucked up take on Mahmoud Jaballah’s detentiion and deportation.

Harper: Off With Garth Turner’s Head

It’s the talk of Blogtown…Harper
removing MP Garth Turner from Caucus for ‘breech of confidence’ over his blogspot. We all know, ‘ya right’, more like the outspoken Turner didn’t jive with Harper’s tune, so the dance hall bouncers were bound to come out at any time. The Reform Party just doesn’t like the real Conservatives, let’s face it. But they’ve had to deal with the Lebanon evac and Afghanistan, so
Turner’s turn didn’t come till now. To every season…..

Just look at the pic of Steve! I called Daddy Scout, Parliament Hill custodian to peek at Mr. Harper’s notebook and here’s what it said:

Peter MacKay came to me on several occasions in tears because Turner wears a leather jacket and Peter wants to be the only one allowed to. I can only afford one cool looking MP and Peter wins, hands down. Garth also has a beard and only Rabbi’s should. The Reform Party must look standardized, save for MacKay, our token playboy (note: get more P.I.’s on Stronache and Domi). Turner is a turnip haha (note: tell that to Ben and Rachel at supper). Who in their right mind works for their constituents??? This guy doesn’t get it. I’m glad I axed him and I wish George liked me better so I could brag to him (note: send letter of good luck for GOP). Ew, Turner even has those big 80′s glasses. Jim Prentice’s half frames are sweet. And the guy doesn’t have one bit of Adam Smith in his closet, he just makes me puke (note: have Laureen pick up new Tip Top Tailor suit).

*you can still vote for your fave ‘harper’s fucking me look’ a few posts down. So far ‘Aryan Ken Doll’ leads over ‘Rasta Steve’.

If Only They Were Normal #11- Laura Bush and Laureen Harper

Imagine being married to George Walker or Stephen Joseph. No thanks!!! If their wives were normal they would have left their sociopathic mates by now or at LEAST had an affair to comfort each other’s living with emotionless, incompassionate guys. Let’s let the fly on the wall listen in:

Laura It’s o.k. sugar, Mamma’s gonna make everything alright for pretty little Laureen.
Laureen OH Laura, I , I never knew what it was like to be held and comforted this way before. My husband is so….
Laura Shhh, dumplin’. Let’s leave the world of testosterone behind. It’s just you and me right now.
Laureen Hold me tighter. Tell me you’ll take me to the Mid-East Peace Jam session.
Laura Ya honeychild, don’t you worry, that’s right, put your hand there, how’s this feel?
Laureen I, I’ve never been asked that before. Laura, oh, Laura!!!
Laura Hush now, hush. We’ll make love, not war.

*and to bring you out of that fantasy…….friends on the big island of hawaii where the earthquake took place report that most everything is being restored to normal. One friend who lives on the north end, which got hit the hardest, said it was a real ‘shaker’ as opposed to a roller (hey, she lived in L.A. for 16 years so knows her quakes). Lots of structural damage to buildings and roads but there’s good that comes with this….the old sugar cane flumes that diverted water to the fields have been destroyed and this will help restore moisture to areas that turned desert because of it.

Steve’s Makeover – final on hairdo

A few posts back the poll narrowed Steve’s hairdo down to ‘rasta’ as the main, with ‘other’ following. Two of the ‘others’ were Sheena Vision’s Ken Doll so I did an Aryan version, and YaYa Canada’s suggestion of ‘bullet steve’ which comes via Canada Today (interesting site!!!). Take a close gander at this pic, it’s steve’s hair and clothes made of bullets…really well done!

Now it’s time for the final round to give the man who’s fucking us all a new hairdo…..what’s your vote?

How do You Want Steve to Look?
	Rasta Steve
	Bullet Steve McQUEEN
	Aryan Ken-doll Steve
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Next we’ll move on to facial hair etc.

*OH GREAT – Liberal Frank MacKenna now feels Canada should rethink it’s Missile Defense Program with the States…guess now that we’re a target some Libs feel they should join the club rather then work at defeating the Con-airs…..speaking of Con-air, the Alberta/Montana border will now be airpatrolled. Off we go into the wild blue , red and white yonder!!!! Good way to keep a better watch on those brown-skinned, Canadian-born people.

*Aunty Bertha of Eclectic Eccentriity notified me today of correctional INVESTIGATOR howard sapers releasing a report pointing to all the discrimination in prisons against aboriginals…stockwell responded:

“Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day has said he will consider the findings of Sapers’s report but there is no evidence of systemic discrimination against native offenders in the prison system.”

does he have any gray matter?

McHale’s Navy Flops! Sitcom Cancelled

The blubbering Gary McHale who headed the ‘peace march’ at Caledonia on Sunday attended with a dingy full of supporters rather than the ship he was hoping for. PLUS, as Amelopsis speculates in the post below, MCHALE MAY HAVE BAILED EARLY!!!!! Guess that’s what happens when you have a leaky boat. Ships Ahoy, McHale, your starboard is listing and your hull is covered with barnacles. This ‘made for tv movie’ just didnt cut it and has been cancelled. Time for ‘dry dock’ maybe?

Youngfox Canada and Amelopsis have pics up at their blogs.

Reports from Clan Mom’s are just starting to trickle in and I’ll add some comments here as they do. Meantime keep your eye on MNN, and I’m sure Annamarie at Verbena-19 will keep us updated. Also keep your mouse over Youngfox Canada who was out there, and I’m sure YaYa Canada will have updates.

*not one politician, locally, provincially or federally was around.

Scary McHale’s Heritage

Scary McHale , who lives 100 km’s away from Caledonia, had organized a ‘peaceful’ protest march onto Six Nation’s land at the reclaimed Douglas Estate’s land. He thought 20,000 people would participate but only 1,000 did. CBC reports only one person was arrested as many crossed the ‘buffer zone’. Meantime Clan Mothers calmly held a potluck gathering.

Harper Valley had the opportunity to interview Scary’s grandmother, Josephine Curveasous Jellyfish, after discovering McHale has native blood:

HV – Why is Scary so anti-native?
Grandma – He doesn’t like how I treated him. Love just isn’t his way. He always wanted to play with dolls so I let him and I think he’s afraid his wife will find out.
HV – He played with dolls?
Grandma – Yes, and he loved to dress up as a girl. It was so cute. I made him special dresses as he was always a bit rotound. He went in the jingle dance competitions at the powwows but as he got older was embarassed, you know how it is, some kids tease a lot and the non-native kids razzed him pretty bad.
HV – Are you saying Scary is in denial?
Grandma – I guess that’s a term you could use. He rejected who he is, ran away and joined the navy to prove he is a man. There’s not much regard for a two-spirit in non-native society, but The Navy, well, now we’re talking!
HV – So is this what it’s all about, another ‘Aryan-Wash’ coverup for how deeply he was hurt by society?
Grandma- Are you always this serious? Why don’t you take that fake beard off and sit down for some frybread?

*while msm reports about 1,000 marches turned out, some Clan Mothers estimate it was about 500. The Haudenusee calmly held their potluck and some brothers and sisters came all the way from South Dakota, along with lots of others to join in a peaceful food feast. 6N is still ‘on watch’ as there were some tensions and it’s best to keep prepared. Huge appreciation for all the prayers said have been expressed.

Scary’s grandma’s name came from Dead Dog Cafe’s Authentic Indian name generator. I punched in ‘gary mchale’ , ‘female’ and Josephine Curveasous Jellyfish is what came up.
btw, i am Joline Dank Ragweed.

More links at YaYa Canada under ‘Crystal Methodist”.

Sunday Sermon by Crystal Methodist

Ha Hoo! Parishiners, oh parishoners!

Before you leave Jack Lord’s house, remember to put a few extra alms in the plate! I’m watching and you wouldn’t want me to tell stories about you now, you naughty people you!

A quick note from Luke Warm, 10:23:04 – ‘Yay though I walk through the Valley of Six Nation’s death I shall fear no evil for I am an Aryan sent on mission impossible from Steve Harper’s pointing finger of judgement. Thy rod and staff comfort and pleasure me (ho ho, I added that in for all you heated dames).’

So remember, march on Sunday wearing your best leiderhosen because what mamma said is true…you don’t want to be caught at the hospital with old or dirty underwear!!! Hold your placards high so the media won’t get crotch shots, and please, this is the work of Jack Lord so if you hear the words “Book ‘em, Danno’, don’t resist and know that White Christ will save you!

Ta ta and have a merry, merry missionary march to God’s land (those indians, how they think it’s their land behooves me. May White God strike them with OH, OUCH, WHAT HAPPENED, I just felt my derriere being pinched. Mr. Harper, was that you?). Ho, ha, there’s always fun and games in the hallowed halls.

Prayer Time !

Your thoughts, prayers, meditation (whatever method you use) are needed this weekend for Six Nations on Sunday, October 15th. This is the day non-native protesters are holding a ‘peaceful’ march onto the Douglas Creek Estates (Haldiman tract) that 6N reclaimed in April. Peaceful? If peace were intended the protesters would march to the OPP office or the legislative grounds or parliament hill….they are, after all, saying they are protesting what they consider the government’s failure and the OPP’s unfair treatment of non-natives (ya right).

Gary McHale of Richmond Hill (that’s right, Richmond Hill, not Caledonia) is heading up the march with the assistance of the dastardly Caledonia Wakeup Call Gang. McHale is an obvious plant and I’m sure this group will be hiring plants again to do their best to instill violence against six nations and provoke violence. Then Gary and his wakeup gang and the governments will get what they want…the media will one-sidedly report again about the dumb fuckin’ injuns.

McGuinty could have issued an injunction. Governor General Michealle Jean could have followed the protocal bequested of her by the Clan Mothers and the Queen from the beginning. Who are these politicians and private citizens? Probably all part of Mr. Christ’s Army. Speaking of which, that’s what the feds want most….violence and the army, who have had troops stationed around there since before day 1 to go in and Ipper-white-wash away. Minerals and land, that’s what it’s all about….keep killing those injuns!

For more depth and detail please see
Mohawk Nations News (click on ‘news’). For other info and p.o.v. please see K-Dough’s Canada “Caledonia Rally Railing”, Youngfox Canada“Caledonia Reclamation Protest to Receive Unwanted Visit From Attention Seeking Meatheads” , Verbena-19 Six Nations Peace Gathering on Sunday, October 15th! (Annamarie is still having probs with beta blogger so scroll down).

6N’s plan? Hold a potluck peace gathering

So light your insence, your smudge sticks, spark an owl, spread tobacco, leave a little food on your plate for the ancestors, stand or sit or lie down, put your hands together, have them in your pocket, hold them in front of you, whatever you do that sends your positive vibes to Six Nations for strength, and send those rays of love to the non-native protesters in the hopes that their covered hearts and minds will open (send nasty thoughts you’ll get it back ten-fold, send love you’ll get it back three-fold). We can all join in with the 6N spirit warriors on this one!!!!

M’gwetch, Osium, HiHi.

*btw, you can still vote below in the ‘makeover’ of everyone’s favorite canadian rapist. we’ll get that composite drawing yet….nothing like gang-banging your own country in the name of the babe in swaddlings.

It’s Steve ‘Makeover’ Time!

If Steve is going to fuck us, the least he could do is have a makeover. Here’s some samples, we’ll start with the hair then move on to facial hair, piercings, tats, clothes etc..

Vote in the poll how you’d like your rapist to look. If you click ‘other’ please leave a suggestion and I’ll see what I can come up with.

Remember, we’re all being screwed over by the same guy, so let’s get a composite!!!

How Do You Want Steve to Look? His same Conself Slingblade Hockey Player Donald Trump Gel Steve Steve Marley Sidebar ‘Normal’ shot Other    Free polls from Pollhost.com

YaYa Canada has found a Harper hairdo makeover from another site. Have a gander , you may want to click ‘other’ and leave a comment that says ‘Yaya’s site’. there’s always great reading there anyways, and Yaya’s comments are great and right on spot!!! Ms. Activist Supremo who’s in the know.

Can You Spell T.H.E.O.C.R.A.C.Y.?

‘Let Jesus Fuck You’ is taking on whole new meanings these days as the CONfused goosestep their way to strip Canadian’s of their rights.

I don’t have to post the links to gays, abortion, women, war, making us a target for the sake of ‘protectionsim’, and raping the environment, stepping on native rights, and of course, with that cross Steve’s holding in his hand, the mention of ‘deep integration’ becomes something different.

Gee Steve, if I’m gonna be fucked by you, you could ast least learn how to dress!!!

sitting here putting on my BEST Llinda Blair voice saying , ‘LET STEVEN FUCK YOU, LET STEVEN FUCK YOU !’.

Steve Gets Strict

Our boy Steve says he’s getting strict when it comes to emission controls.

Translated this means neo-cons will now wear gas masks while espousing their polluted, hot, yucky air , which will result in Kyoto standards being doubled in half the time. Brilliant!

I can see Boreen now with goosebumps as she awaits a spanking from hubby dear. More neo-con sex images…..EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

*copy of ‘Green Steve’s’ speech “In fact, that is what they said generally about the last Conservative government – until, earlier this year, they finally acknowledged it to be the greenest in Canada’s history.”….right, as green as Linda Blair’s barf. Anyone else smell another ‘Made in Vancouver announcement to appease Olympic draw bullshit crapola to raise the world’s perception of the deeply integrated Reform Party”?

NOTE: Alison at Creekside recently posted this little gem of a soul protestor at the Peace Arch. My apologies to others who posted this too, I saw it on a few of my ‘regular circuit’ sites but, alas, menopause detracts from the mind once again to put more power to the intuitive.

Famous Stupid People #11

THE REV from The Woodshed correctly guessed Donald Trump. Man, I think this was the fastest guess ever…shows to go ya when the right questions are asked. While I’m no longer sending out prizes, SURELY someone out there has a Donald Trump hairpiece to send Rev. I’m sure he’d cherish it.

NOTE: I will no longer be offering a prize as I’m allergic to snail mail and have grouped prizes for past winneres but can’t quite seem to get them in an envelope. I’ve tried taking anti-histamines to correct this but it’s not working. hmm. So be happy with guessing right and getting a sidebar blurb on your site!!!

“Take That, American Pig Dog!”

Rumours of North Korea testing a nuclear bomb have surfaced. The U.S. , along with Russian, South Korea and Japan all say they detected seismalogial waves that indicate underground testing.

We here at Harper Valley were given a different story from the North Korean government.

Crystal Methodist

It’s Sunday, meet Crystal Methodist, your Gal of Gawd who can help opiate the masses with sermons as ripe as the poppies growing in Afghanistan. Crystal’s a bit of an enigma but we do know she’s a spinster ever chasing the eligable bachelor, Theo Cracy, a church elder known for his savvy at getting parishoners to put a few extra fins and sawbucks into the collection plate.

Crystal;s not ordained but does tend to the flowers and bookeeeping, and if you’re in her path she’ll deliver her own version of The Good Book. Let’s listen to a nanno second of her pental-accosting the Smith’s as they leave Our Lady of Perpetual Borrow –

“Ha hoo! Smith’s, oh Smithies!!! Don’t forget Matthew 21:05 and Peter 18:03 when you go to poker tonight. A little birdie told me. I want to see any winnings put in the plate!!!’.

You get the drift, but ya gotta love her for keeping track of the flock.

*Crystal was inspired by JJ at Unrepentant Old Hippie and her recent post on likening religion to crack.

If Only They Were Normal #10- Michael Ignatieff

Liberal Leadership contenter Michael Ignatieff, if he were normal:

“Yup. You’ll get nothing but straight talk from me. I think we’ve had enough of politicians who can’t shoot from the hip. No more fucking around with fancy-dancy intellectual bullshit and promises, this time it’s going to be for the people and I don’t want anyone knowing who my dad is, hear? That’s got nothing to do with anything. A little common sense, nose to the grindstone, roll up our sleeves and get to work is what it’s going to be. There was a time a person knew what a liberal was and stood for, well I’m bringing that back and there’s no effin way my tax dollars or anyone elses are getting wasted on a useless war. I gotta get back to the job here and I don’t have a zillion speeches saying the same thing over and over so if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna finish up then have some beer with regular citizens and listen to what THEY have to say.”

Steve’s Got Mail !!!

After waiting at LEAST six months, Steve’s ‘Dublya Dublya Real Genuine Wrestling Belt’ finally arrived. Did you ever see such a beaming kid? Ssshhhhh, don’t tell his mom!

All right, so it’s a lousey photoshop….but look at the guy! We’ve got to dress him right. Outta the Tip Top Taylor suit and PLEASE…look at the collar on this guy!!!!

FASHION CONSULTANTS PLEASE! Bruce, Q, Alison, Ross, JJ, Annamarie…EVERYONE, I want your suggestions, how are we going to make this guy look better (besides as the sidebar hottie). I want a team…i’ll be your photoshop slave…should he be a Sultan of Swing? A dapper debonairre ? An ultra chic trendo-boy??? HELP!

Rainbow Friday

Hey, it’s WEAR RAINBOW FRIDAY to support our LGBT Community!!!

Harper: Wow, what a turnout! Brothers and sisters, I want to confess. I’ve had attractions to many men over the years, but, I married and keep to my vows. I did experiment a couple of time during University, and supported Mulroney’s age of consent lowering to 14 in 1987. But that’s besides the point because I wasn’t in a position of authority then. I do know the temptations though and that’s why I banned Blackberries.

I’m not trying to say that all homosexuals are pedophiles like me, er, ah, I mean, like , never mind. But I do want you to know I value you as much as our troops that I send over to have killed. OH, that didn’t sound right. I’m sorry, my speech writer, Polly, is on vacation. She’s a lesbian parrot.

Ah, let’s all join hands now and continue to wear rainbow on fridays. Where’s my paige…..um, I mean pager, PAGER is what I meant. Damn, where’s Polly!!!!