Archive for July, 2006
Hey kids, real genuine poll !!!
It had to be done…I just had to steal K-Dough’s sidebar poll and make my own, considering CTV and the Glob’s poll show Harper ain’t gettin’ the support he thinks on the Mid-East. Usually CTV Polls are impossible to answer as they give you two options, which don’t fit into my mindset at least.
So here it is….you have ten options:
CTV still has it’s poll up as of today , go vote and nudge the ‘yes’ vote ahead. Thanks to ???, gee i like to give credit to where i got some ideas from but it was late when i posted this and i can’t remember who’s site had posted a blurb urging people to go vote at the glob or ctv…gulp, my apologies!!!!
Harper Not Really Skipping Montreal’s Outgames
While kd lang has been critisizing Harper for not attending Montreal’s Outgames, Steve-Joe says it’s not true. Harper and his press aides say SJH will be in attendance to appease the Bloc…he just wants to be incognito.
Wife Boreen is not happy about Steve’s disguise, saying he’s been wearing it around 24 Sussex, “Just a little too much. I can understand why he has to do something so horrible for the sake of the Nation, but this is not the Method School of Acting here and we’re using up too much butter. No more ‘Last Tango’ after this and I’ll never complain about missionsary position again!”.
Have fun, Stevey-Joe, and remember which team you’re batting for!
Check out Queerty as well as The Kalamalka Rainbow for Gay News/Opinion
This today from CBC, Gay and Lesbian Emergence: Out in Canada (I’m sure there’s many innacurracies, but…).
Clan Mothers Rock On – 407 error !
Women Title Holders file objection to Ontario 407 ETR highway
The uber-cool Six Nations Clan Mothers keep going on reclamation and have sent in their objection over Ontario’s foreign owned Highway 407. What to look for in the near future – no more tolls. In the further future – Native Sovereignty and bands having returned to their Mother Clan , paving (pardon the pun) the way to the truest form of democracy.
The oligarchy and megalomaniacs will be crying, but not to worry, we’ll console. Spread the love!
“Still Crazy, After All These Years…”
BBC – Bush-Blair team unshakeable as ever. Article commentary on Blair’s recent visit to the Whitehouse, “The two men had clearly spent their private meeting making sure they would sing from the same hymn sheet in front of the cameras.”
B&B’s comments in a few years when they’re finito:”Ya, but we sure had some good times.”
Condi’s Piece Package
Resplendant in her Israeli Designer Combat gear, U.S. Secretary Condoleezza Rice is undaunted that she can’t land in the Lo-East because of increased fighting. “They’re having communication problems because of all the war noise. If they knew I was on my way again they’d stop, after all, I’m Condi Rice and they’re not”. Condi is also certain the noise interfered with Israeli troops not being able to hear the pleas from the UN personell who were killed by a missile. “Honestly, everyone’s making such a big fuss about it. If people had been wearing their radio earphones like my cool Sigal Dekels, it wouldn’t have happened…so who’s to blame? The UN people should have known better.”
Condi expects to be able to land as soon as Lebanon and Israel know she’s in the area again. The U.S. piece plan seeks an international agreement on a UN-mandated fashion force that can provide good-looks in the region.
Condi’s Piece Package also includes:
- Do a make-over on Hezbollah and integrate the guerrilla force into the Lebanese army with designer uniforms.
- Create the piece of land held by Israel and claimed by Lebanon into a shopping mall called “The Plaza Strip”.
- create a piece of land as a “buff zone” where only ‘hotties’ can go.
- convince Hezbollah to carry Prada purses.
- create an international Beauty Pageant for Lebanon.
ROCK ON, SISTERS! The Answer is Blowin’ in the Wind
Cool Six Nations Women Title Holders serve Notice of Seizure
These women rock! It must be close to 150 days they’ve held their land at the Henco site at Caledonia, despite the OPP going in, using tasers and billie clubs on unarmed men, women and youth. The RCMP and Army have been on standby in close proximity, the U.S. has had their ATF up spying on them, Judge Marshall has made bogus coury orders, which have been ignored. Locals have hurled garbage, rocks, racist comments, Premier Dalton McGuinty tries his best to clamp them down, Caledonia Mayor Marie Traynor and negotiator David Petersen have shown their racist stripes.
This and dealing with the elements of weather but Six Natiions holds strong, which is a message to us all not to loose hope in the face of adversity. The Clan Mothers are inspiring, to say the least….and if anything, the work towards Native Sovereignty will grant us ALL liberation from the powers that be in the illegal nation of Canada.
Some of the best things you can do to help:
Subscribe to MNN News
Put an MNN Banner on your site
DONATE to the Mohawks holding the land:
Money, clothing, walkie talkies, tents, blankets…to enquire
email Hazel Hill
or Jaqueline House
DONT FORGET TO CHECK OUT Neuronic’s BAD ASS GEOGRAPHY TUTORIAL
General Steve Joe Harper
Oh he’s itching for it, isn’t he? After Busholini gave him his combat name, Steve, Harper’s just been waiting for NATO to be called upon to the defence of Israel. While his combat gear that he ordered from the back of a Superman comicbook took a few weeks to arrive and he checked the mail everyday, Steve was so excited when it came he tried it on immediatley. Boreen says he had to cancel an appointment with the parents of the slain Canadian UN worker to do it, but he just couldn’t contain his glee.
In addition, Steve had ordered his new King James Special Wartime edition, which is said to replace any need for a helmut or other protection. Said Boreen, “He’s so brave anyways. On the flight to Cyprus, he just kept reminding me that The Lord was on our side and we were safe. It’s not true what the reports said about him peeing his pants because of fear, it was because he doesn’t like to go number one and two when there’s anyone but his guards around’.
Great Steve, we’ll just tack on a bill to the taxpayers for all the Depends you’ll need if you keep heading in the direction you are.
Hydro Pimps
‘Yo, eh? The Provincial dudes ain’t so rude,
wind ain’t crude but we didn’t get screwed.
Cuz what the province say and the Mohawk say , it don’t matter anyway.
They paid off Henco, they’ll pay us off after we make the public scoff
at Six Nations for holding back ‘Green’, get some eco’s on the provincial team.
Wham bam, what a sham, the prov ain’t so good at their little scams.
But we don’t care long as money’s coming
so damn the injuns and the people running
for election cuz next time around
we know we can get some other ground,
and wind, and fire and water,
we’re just acting like people think we oughta’.
Yes but when will we get the WHOLE TRUTH?
BBC reports Isreali troops ignored the pleas of UN peace keepers before firing a PRECISION-GUIDED missile which killed a Canadian UN personell.
So Prime Minister Ehud Omert, are we really expected to believe your investigation into the incident….your track record wouldn’t indicate so:
“In the 1970s, Olmert was rumored to be a party to a complex scheme involving well-known Jerusalem businessmen, organized crime, corrupt legislators, and retired General Rechavam Ze’evi. This affair was documented in investigative journalist Aryeh Avneri’s Ha’tvusa in 1992. During the run-up to the Ze’evi libel suit, Olmert allegedly took funds from the Likud treasury for his defense fund, although his lawyers were from his own law firm, which would effectively constitute bribery. [citation needed] All accusations against Olmert were eventually settled out of court.
Israeli businessman David Appel has been suspected of bribing both Sharon and Olmert, while he was mayor of Jerusalem, in what is known as the Greek island affair.
On February 20, 2006, it was disclosed that an inquiry is being carried out on the 1999 sale and lease-back of Olmert’s Jerusalem house, which allegedly was done on financial terms very favorable to Olmert, in what would amount to be an illegal campaign contribution and/or bribe. [6]“(from the Wiki article).
Supreme Beings Conference
I got to wondering how the Supreme Being of Christianity, Islam and Judaism are portrayed by various artists. This called for a jaunt into Google Images where a myriad of paintings, photos and goofy things met my eyes. Each search for Allah, God and Yahweh brought up animals named after the deities of the major religions who are partaking in major wars.
I thought I’d lay down these pets in a pasture of green, but only Yahweh the cat was somewhat prostrate. Then I imagined their conversation: ‘arf, woof’ ‘meow, prrrrr’ ‘whinney, neigh’.
And from that we should all heed their lessons.
National Encryer – Boreen Tells All
Click on the pic to read “Missionary Impossible”.
Secrets Revealed (Too Much Information!)
Britain’s PM Tony Blair is going with the polls and cutting off all lingerings of his affair with President Bush. Always the opportunist, Blair’s now differing posture from his G-string 8 Summit is based on a Guardian/ICM poll. The PM had to break the news to Bush, who’s taken it fairly well as his new rose-coloured glasses subserviant, Steve Harper, follows the Prez’s every whim.
Blair – I say, George, hope you don’t mind but I do have my popularity to consider.
Bush – Ya, I understand…want a snort?
Blair – No thank you.
Bush – Given up on that as well as me? Heck, that’s alright Tony, I’m still workin’ hard.
Blair – I knew you’d understand, old chap. And it was great while it lasted.
Bush – Ya, we had some good times up on that mountain.
Blair – Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Bush – Huh? Speak english will ya?
Blair – I do believe I’m the expert on that one, George.
Bush – Not that old arguement again.
Meantime, Whitehouse sources have leaked why Bush chooses Diet Coke as the Breakfast of Champions. Seems he just can’t get over Clinton’s success.
Immaculate Misconception
U.S. Secretary of State CONdoleezza Rice is in the Mid-East for Piece talks (you get a piece of this, I get a piece of that). After likening the war striken Israel and Lebanon as the birth pangs of a new Middle East, Rice set off first to Lebanon then Israel after delivering a spanking fresh baby Region. Rice insists the father is God, but President Bush is denying his ever having slept with CONdi and says her use of model missiles may have something to do with it.
The recent drama over Georgie dumping Rice for Tony Blair then moving on to Steve Harper has paired Toni and Condi. Somehow the jilted attracted each other… Tony being head of the Labour Party may have a lot to do with it. At any rate Condi’s now talking ceasefire along with Tony, demonstrating their strength as a new couple. Blair has no aversion to helping with the newborn.
The British PM says he may consider siding with Bush if Bush calls him ‘Tone’. Rice says she’ll also think things over if Mr. President will continue to supply battery operated Patriot Missiles, which have a far superior effect to cigars.
The Joy of Cooking – Quick Condi Rice
Utensils: One large cauldron, wooden spoon, Cupid’s arrow, Patriot Missile, ladle.
Ingredients: 120 lb. U.S. Secretary of Defense, (can substitute with 120 lb. sacraficial lamb), 1,000 lbs. of carnage, 2 ounces salt, 5 stalks celery, 6 lbs. carrots, 8 pounds lentils.
Directions: Send the main ingredient to the Middle East and let cure for a few days with Patriot Missile smoke. Chop vegetables with arrow and add to cauldron. Once cured, place main ingredient in cauldron. Add salt and stir with wooden spoon. Cook on high temperature for a few daze. Dip ladle in and make sure lamb is cured. If not, send for electro-shock therapy and add 12 boxes of valium. Let steep for years.
This is a difficult recipe as the cure rate of the main ingredient can vary depending on how long it’s been in the stockyards. Experiment a few times and as always, the more your love goes into your creation, the better the after taste.
Steve, Boreen and Neo-Conology
After a few weeks of a hectic shcedule inlcluding kowtowing to Bush, the Gr8 Scumpit and single-handidly rescuiing Canadians in Lebanon, it was time for Mr. and Mrs. Harper to take a break.
Seen here at the MKULTRA Tanning Salon, The Harper’s got a quick blast and Scientology-like zap as reward for upholding Focus on the Family values. L. Ron Bush gave the approving nod.
The Mr. and Mrs. were heading out to Winners to beef up their wardrobe afterwards, then for a quick bite at Tim Hortons to help support Canadian troops in Afganistan who are out of donuts.
Kiss me, dahling
The Rosy Lipped Batfish. I found this on Pharyngula. It’s a cool site to drop by as well as many others at Science Blogs. This site is like a web ring of scientists, a lot of it admittedly completly over my head, but a great source of info and there’s constant political debate over neo-con’s trying to enforce creationism. Lot’s of good laughs too.
Leba-non and Iz-unrael
Preparing for WW3 (The last one). Don’t forget to stash lots of good comedy books. Oh, and toss out any political shit cause things will never be the same after. One more thing…EVERYONE looks cool in sunglasses!
Slow News Day
As the tensions of getting the first load of Canadians out of Lebanon has died down, this gives us the opportunity to catch up on some of the Harper meetings at the Gr8 Scumpit. Steve’s meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel went well, and here’s an exert from a tape recorder hidden in the shoe of Get Smart, seen next to Angela.
Angela: Vell Stefan, I can call you Stefan, jah?
Harper: Ve shall have to check vith my mamma but go ahead because I vould like to brown-nose vith all Gr8 members.
Angela: You are so very handsome, you I would allow to rub my shoulders.
Harper: Ho ho, sank you but ze Lord says in ze Ten Commandments not to do zis.
Angela: How do you do it, how do you sway your people so well?
Harper: Vell, first I go all baby-like und make ze press not ask me questions, und zen I rip up zings like accords as Heir Bush has taught me
Angela: Please, don’t mention ze creep!
Harper: Ho ho, Angela you women’s liberation types! Anyways, you’ll like zis part, then I lift my arm like ze Furher….hang on I show you!
BOTH: Ho ho, har har, hah hah hah!
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PAYPAL
