Archive for June, 2006
Women Title Holders to Governor General….be sure to read the letter from the Queen’s Senior Correspondence Officer below the Clan Mother’s letter to the GG.
England’s paparazzi caught Queen Liz making a secret phone call to Canada’s Governor Genereal Michaelle Jean over the Six Nation’s protest at Caledonia.
Recording devices picked up the following conversation:
Liz: Michaelle Jean?
Liz: This is the Queen.
MJ: OH! What a lovely surprise, Your Majesty!
Liz: That’s an interesting name; Michaelle Jean. Philip and I were wondering if you’re a lesbian?
Liz: Nevermind. It’s about those two bit whores who call themselves ‘Clan Mothers’. Let’s just referr to them as ladies, shall we?
MJ: Yes Your Highness.
Liz: You’re a darky who likes to keep her place, isn’t there anything you can do about those untamed beasts?
MJ: I just refuse to answer their letters, emails and phone calls.
Liz: Governor General, may I remind you that your duties include soothing the savage soul? Can’t you send in some DJ’s to blast music whilst the Army gets ready to kill them?
MJ: I’ll see what I can do. Quebec has just declared itself a nation, which overrides all indigenous rights. Maybe I can get Celine Dion to sing to them before they die.
Liz: Excellent! Philip and I were wondering if you’d be interested in a Royal tryst.
Liz: Nevermind. Proceed “Holding the Fort” as you colonized like to say!
MJ: Merci, Your Majesty.
Liz: Please, cut the french. As if the “Royal We” don’t have enough to deal with across the Channel. Thank you Michealle Jean, perhaps if rules change we may knight you some day.
MJ: I’m a woman.
Liz: Heh hemm! One never corrects the Queen. Cheerio, I have to walk the corgies. Mum’s the word on this.
Order you copy of the DVD at http://www.queenspotting.uk only 45 LB !!!!
YES! Seems we’ll be getting three new Naval ships at the low, low price of $15 billion (not including taxes). Can’t wait for them to join our others in the Gulf. O’Connorgan, you must be one happy sailor! Here’s the all-star crew of the first delivered ship, The Beano.
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale of an acid trip,
That started from this humid port,
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing scam,
The Ripper a grave boor,
Five passengers set sail that day,
For three tons of manure.
(three tons of manure).
The press they started getting rough,
Sir Conrad was at a loss
If not for the bullshit of the fearless crew,
The Beano would be lost
(The Beano would be lost).
The ship set ground on the shore of this unchartered Canuk bile,
The Ripper too,
A millionaire, and his knife,
A moving czar,
The professor and StockyAnn,
Here on O’Connorgan’s Isle!
(Starring (right to left): Stephen Ripper, Rona Glambrose (along for the photo-op) Conrad Blackmark, Peter HisWay, Gordon O’Connorgan, Doris, and the Professor as himself because we couldn’t find any Cons who could fill his shoes).
RATS CAN TEACH US SOMETHING – INDIAN SUMMER COLONIAL STYLE
Those loveable, laudable politicians! I for one adore yellowed buck teeth, long skinny tails, and the disease, fleas and destruction vermin bring with them. In fact, I’m somewhat jealous that Gordo Campbell isn’t playing as much with Bushby and Harpo. McGuinty gets to ride his nag alongside the Big Rats on their white steeds and Campbell is on a mule. Then again that mule is traversing the province wreaking it’s own Rat Pack havoc, so good on ya, Gordo!
Sewer rats are sweet, loveable, and easy to trap. Just use $$$ and photo-ops as bait. I wish i had a live trap and could have one as a pet.
Ahhhhhhhh! Where’s the warfarin???
Caledonia Upate from Hazel Hill
Hey kids, t-shirts and pro-made signs for the whole family!!! Order online at http://www.bigot.com. Delivery not guaranteed because those stinking Injuns might barricade the Post Office.
The Queen’s birthday celebrations continue. While her official 80th BD kick-off started back in April (the 21st is her actual date of birth), galas and events continued and the next ‘big bash’ is/was today.
“The Ultimate Children’s Party”, held at the Palace gardens, was to host 2,000 kids and 1,000 adults selected by ballot. Included was an all-star show about the Queen losing her handbag, which contains her speech. I’m sure it was extremely well done and all delighted as Cruela de Ville and Captain Hook stole the handbag and Harry Potter and the Famous Five came to Her Royal’s rescue.
The Queen will then made her entry after the speech was recovered, and she read said speech. Maybe it said something like this,
“Phillip and I wish all you youngsters the best. Remember, Britannia still rules. We may have granted Scotland it’s own parliament but still refuse to hand over the purse strings because, after all, they’re still Scottish. Never forget our superiority and that the inferior colonies must do their best to keep the quaint indiegnous peoples in their place’.
I’m sure the stead-faced monarch will continue celebrations throughout the year. Wonder how much the whole thing will have cost????
Meantime Britain’s homeless still go homeless. Policiallly they’re quite organized but I haven’t heard of any large protests (then again I haven’t been keeping up on Biritsh News). At least they have The Big Issue’ magazine to help somewhat (and where this graphic was liberated from). The Big Issue has been published for many a year now and homeless people (or houseless as Hawaiins call themselves) can become licensed sellers and profit plus be eligable for all sorts of programs. The Big Issue ain’t quite what it used to be, mainly featuring articles and art by the homeless then becoming de rigueur for well-known writers and artists submissions and expanding into an extremely large outfit.
I guess the expansion has allowed for better profits, which equals better programs etc..
Meantime, er, ah , Happy Birthday Liz. What will be done with the leftovers?
This one was inspired by Meaghan’s post on June 24th, at Somena Media, entitled, ‘Ok… got it now….It’s an INSTALANCHE’.
While it certainly may not have been her intention to move me or anyone this way, like her, I’ve been contemplating the whole ‘Blog Phenomena’ the last few days and decided to remove my B.C. Blogger links and whatever else one I had (progressive bloggers? canadian bloggers?). No offense to the people who created these links, they do a great job at keeping them updated, and a lot of work goes into it. It’s handy too as i was able to just click and take a quick cyber walk to check out sites.
However, I’ve grown increasingly annoyed at the ‘status’ some seek, unmitigated attacks amongst so called allies, projections of superiority, and other behaviors that make me go, ‘barf…..isn’t what we’re supposed to be doing is moving away from all this crap???’. Hence I created my own ‘i just blog, that’s all’ jpg.
Sorry to all the linked sites that are ‘just bloggers’ too, this is just my own little way of protesting some big b.s.. As time goes on and I check out more sites, get used them and all, I’ll add to my own links. Feel free to comment if you’re ‘just a blogger too’.
So thanks Meaghan for letting me finally sort some things out and make a decision i’ve been pondering. but hey, you’ll never get me to click on all your ‘here’ ‘here’ ‘here’s’
This photo is ever scarier then the Clan Mother shot of April 20th. Look at those Mohawk criminals! Who do they think they’re fooling posing as writers at a Montreal Library Festival??? It’s like, duh, don’t ya know Mohawks are all bandana-wearing, drug trafficking thugs? Gimme a break…it’s as though, ‘ya right, as if the majority of Mohawks are just everyday, normal people with some who are high achievers, just like in any other community’.
Do you really buy their bullshit that they have graduated their own doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs? Come on, more like tinker, taylor, soldier, sailor – or poor man, beggerman, thief. Get real that there’s well educated ones with doctorates, olympic medals, and other propoganda spun crap. Ha!
I’ve had it, I’m going to let 900am know about this. In fact, I’m going to email the Hell’s Angels and tell them their patsy, Sharon Simon, stole one of their hogs and it’s stashed in her garage. Maybe that’ll be enough so Harper doesn’t have to strike for them and can just be handed honourary colours.
BORN TO BE TRIALED!
On behalf of the Canadian Government, Stephen Harper apologized to the Chinese who were made to pay head tax. Harper says there will be ‘symbolic payment’. OK Stephie, is that another way of saying you might be willing to dole out a measly couple of grand or so?
Has anyone heard the Canadian government apologize to First Nations? Please point this out to me if I’m wrong.
The Chinese get an apology and money. The Japanese were given and apology for internment by Brian Mulroney, plus compensation. First Nations genocide continues, there’s no apology, a coin gets tossed to compensate residential school survivors, education, health care etc. (read ‘Ripping up the Kelowna Accord’ by Watch for Falling Rock).
It’s good the apologies were made. I’m not knocking that. But check out the attitude towards First Nations Rez School compensation by some. And there’s always nice moves in some academic circles to squash info on the continuuing genocide. Hey kids, don’t forget to tell mom and dad the world Peace Forum in Vancouver wouldn’t let ‘Genocide in Canada’ be addressed.
Sometimes it’s a bit overwhelming to live in such a ‘NICE’ , peace-keeping, polite, law abiding country! Let’s see, where did I put my free flag from Sheila Copps…..I think I need it as a hankie to wipe my heart-warmed tears.
Many people, some colonized natives too, have ‘conqueror mindset’ whether they recognize it in themselves or not. We’re all brain-washed to some degree, it’s ok to just admit it. I do get rather bored and tired of those who feel ‘native ways’ are ‘religion’. Considering there is no word for that in indigenous languages it can perhaps best be summarized as ‘philosophy’ for those who don’t quite understand. In better context, it’s a way of living, breathing and feeling…..it’s just a way, that’s all, a way of living. No , you don’t have to be ‘native’ to understand this because many non-natives can ‘just be’. There’s a big clue right there.
Yes, I have some semblances of conqueror brainwashing. I’m not afraid to admit it.
The spirit world: I can’t help you if you are not sensitive to it. Everything has life in my way of ‘being’. When humans or animals die, what happens to their ‘energy’? Science is coming closer to tracing this and one day, one day, there will be ‘proof’ of what are called spirits. I’m sure it will be given a different name. Until then, the insensitive can write it off as primitive beliefs, which is quite condesceding and, ‘conqueror mindset’. Even if you view it all as hogwash, does it harm you that some think this way…does it harm others? I think not, but to launch out and condemn those who do have these ‘beliefs’ does do harm. Think about it.
Many also view Creation Stories of Indigenous people as ‘just stories’. This is shallow thought and some reflection upon it , and I mean delving deep, will show you otherwise.
Excuse me, I have to go do some primitive smudging now to call upon Spirits. How Neandrathal of me.
sarcasm aside, we all have our ‘tribal roots’. if you have time and haven’t already researched your pre-christian roots, this may be of help. there are many non-native souls who stand alongside native rights, yet feel they don’t have the ‘right’ to voice their opinion. not so, it goes heard and appreciated.
understanding your own tribal roots and the destruction of your ancestors beliefs, ways, customs by roman christianity (not to mention the myriad of killings and witch hunts) may help you gain the confidance to use that voice.
the link above was done on a quick search, i’m sure there’s better ones. anyways, enjoy solstice and take part in or do honour to aboriginal day in your own way (i’ll smudge and say prayers and thanks).
Canada is stalling the UN on Indigenous Rights.. Well thank gawd Jim Prentice is a quick study and knows to go along with ‘The Boss’. Just think, if he were a dim-whit he couldn’t say all the intelligent, thoughtful things he does, why, he’d come across like a pin-head!
But the good lord blessed Jimmy with common bloody sense, so now Harper, Howard and Bush can all stall the UN talks while they work on getting all those documents pertaining to legal land claims, The Kelowna Accord, Rights and Sovereignty issues, into the shredder where they belong (with the Kyoto Accord).
Jim, my best advice to you is to get a little help. Try calling 1-800-BIGOT.
thanks to annamaire at verbena-19 for bringing my attention to this.
solicitor general, er, i mean ‘public safety’ minister stickwell day announced that the CONtrol Party will do away with the ‘long gun registry’. this means rifles and shotguns will no longer have to be registered and dick chaney can come up here anytime to draw a ‘buddy tag’.
that leaves ‘short guns’, pistols etc. regulated. BUT WHAT ABOUT MEDIUM GUNS??? everyone leaves out the middle child!
there is growing evidence from the pychiatric world that the cons are using this as a mentallic metaphor:
short guns = ndp and green. socialist basts, keep them under control
long guns = cons. let them be free range (will they lay eggs?)
medium guns = liberals. let’s not even talk about them. eliminate them and nary a word will be written.
we hired two shrinks to assess CON-ditudes. from dr. i.m. jeungheart:
“there’s no doubt there’s metaphorical subconscience with animal rising. besides political party reference it’s a classic case of stickwell wanting to keep his own short penis regulated as he’s not only insecure about size, but feels a need to stay in denial over his own homophobia, which is generated by placing his same-sex attractions deep into his psyche’s closet’.
on the other hand, dr. con von neuremburg says:
‘zis is not a matter of ze politician but ze opposing public transferring zere rage against zere fazers. i suggest those who oppose und make fun of zis man undergo experimental vork in montreal vith l.s.d. und perhaps also be sterilized’.
neither dr. would comment about the middle child being left out. jeungheart began crying and von nuremburg said he had to leave for an appointment at parliament mole hill.
judge david marshall: i don’t ‘bleep’ get it. why the ‘bleep’ doesn’t anyone do anything? no one’s listening to my ‘bleep’ words. those red-skinned savages are ‘bleep’ with canadian law. the media’s right. i have property there! they should get off my ‘bleep’ land. mcguinty’s buying the henning’s ‘bleep’ land back. then we’ll turn it into a park and spray it with pesticides and herbacides. that will show the ‘bleep’ injuns.
we’ll put a monument on it of john a. macdonald and the other conquerors of this nation. ‘bleep’ , why can’t the injuns understand? can’t they get it through their ‘bleep’ heads they are terrorists? i’m getting a ‘bleep’ headache. some clan ‘bleep’ mother won’t take her sunglasses off. what the ‘bleep’ kind of injun would do that, oh i get it, a ‘bleep’ terrorist one.
bailiff! i need to change my ‘bleep’ depends. court will take a 15 minute recess. and bailiff, bring in the ‘bleep’ kangaroo!
Hurry, tell mom and dad to let you re-direct your allowance from the Liberals to the Cons. This Tory Spelling contest is open to Candian residents, Canadian-born and brown-skinned people need not apply.
Vote today and dream of your Con-artist Get-Away!
1. LavaTORY with toilet icon (a good hint at flushing all those accords down the throne)
2. PurgaTORY with Iron Maiden ‘Purgatory’ cd icon (play it backwards and it says, ‘The Anti-Christ is Ghandi’)
3. LaboraTORY with hand holding test tube (a unique sublinimal to get back to Eugenics)
GREAT post by Gazateer about his dad.
my day was spent remembering a story to tell my dad that i could thank him for. i didn’t want the family drama, just a short conversation where i could let him know i appreciate some of the good stuff he brought to my life.
when i was in about grade seven there was a neighbourhood meeting because someone up the road was buying a home they wanted to turn into a half-way house. my parents were the only ones who supported it. mom and dad sat us down, explained things, different views, their views, and invited us to come if we wanted. i tagged along and watched dad speak up and all the neighbours get upset that someone was supporting this. the memory sure stuck with me.
after relating this to dad he told me i had just ‘made’ his father’s day. but then as a parent who’s not been perfect i hope someday my daughter might be able to do the same for me one day. she’s 23 and loves her dad to bits.
anyways, despite my father’s limitations as a dad, that’s just one story of good things he brought to my life.
If I’d been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still deed me, will you still believe me,
When I’m sixty-four.
You’ll be older too,
And if you say the word,
I could vote for you!
I could be handy, bending a muse,
When my press is gone.
I can knit a tale by the fireside
Sunday mornings repent ’cause I lied.
Doing the garden, digging my grave,
Who could ask for more.
Will I still be greedy, will i still be needy,
When I’m sixty-four.
Every summer we can rent a cottage,
In the Laurentians, if it’s not near
Those who don’t live well
Cronies on my knee,
Solberg, Prentice and Stockwell.
Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Cuz me an’ the army we’ll still have our way.
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Cauze I’ll still be greedy, and so needy,
When I’m sixty-four.
the harp must be having a hay-day. he’s got the majority of canadians believing six nations are ‘the bad guys’ while his cowboy cronies have worked hard with mainsream media to depict the savage injun. why does that make my head ring with bush’s words, ‘we’re workin’ hard. let’s keep workin’ hard’?
and the queen’s cowboys, well they ‘got their woman’, audra anna taillefer of victoria, b.c. was put into custody on charges of intimitdation and robbery. of course there was no mention of the elderly couple driving their car towards the protesters, yelling racist comments, throwing garbage at the protesters, or of the documents seized from the atf vehicle showing the govt. had hired non-native aggitators. nor did they mention that the elderly woman was taken to hospital only as a precaution.
stephen, you’re sure good at what you do!!!
i should email him and let him know i think someone on our local municipal council is a terrorist. that’s one way of taking a dolt out of action.
a few years back i went to mesa verde in colorado with my friend, dan, a hopi/choctaw. we listend with intent to the nice old park ranger explain things…he really was an amiable man. every now and then he’d stop to say, ‘the archeologists and anthropologists can’t figure out yet what this (particular thing or room) was used for.
dan would whisper in my ear what the object or room was used for.
this continued and finally i asked dan why he knows and the scientists don’t.
dan replied, ‘easy. they’ve never asked us. if they came to us and asked we would probably tell them but they seem intent on trying to figure things out on their own with their own methods’.
this brings me to some recent blogs i’ve seen on ‘creationism’ and some schools not wanting to teach darwin’s theory of evolution and other schools not wanting to teach bibilical creation and the whole political spectrum of religion and govt. arguing what ‘is right’. the pillars just love their power struggles. i suggest schools and govt. drop it all together or open it all up as topic of exploration that also brings in creation stories from indigenous peoples. but that might teach our children to think…could the varying institutes handle that? the ivory tower, despite some of it’s benefits, still doesn’t allow one to go too far outside the envelope.
my cree ancestory has it’s creation story, it is not a question of believing it or not. it is something that ‘just is’ and to be learned from. these ‘myths’ as they’re called, were put in place for good reason….we are not to delve beyond them, just to accept them. we were not meant to delve into creation because with those answers, come answers to destruction. by delving-in we have learned about cloning, fission and fusion and created enough bombs to destory the Earth over and over and over. work outside the stories and you cross the line.
while science has many good things, it is not , as self-proclaiimed, the be all and end all. what was ‘true’ in science 100 years ago is not ‘true’ today. what is held as ‘true’ today will not be held as ‘true’ in 100 years. darwin was just one guy. the bible, who’s creation story has been taken literally and has many interpretations both literally and metaphorically, is a book with lots of good stuff but is interpretation upon interpretation. we all know the dark side of religion, power and war, do we also realize that eugenics and ‘race’ came out of the works of followers of darwin? there are just some places we’re not meant to go.
is it not enough to know a higher power placed us here, or that we may have evolved from apes, or that we came up from the ground and were led into a new world by a spider, or that we were in a clam shell and dropped by a raven? is it not enough to just accept lemuria (atlantis, pan etc.)? why not just relax and even accept david icke? what’s all the argument about? you ‘believe’ this, i ‘believe’ that…accept it, big deal, don’t go door knocking.
healthier stance: the hawaain traditional belief is that we came from the stars, we were all one on earth (lemuria – (the mu links, we are still ‘all one’ but need and will come together again ‘as all one’. as most indigenous people’s believe (and so as it probably was in european pre-christan days), ‘we are all one blood’.
i don’t have to ‘believe’ or ‘dis-believe’ lemuria. just to accept that ‘it is’ to some and it is not to be imposed. rather, the hawaiians who believe that hawaii was part of lemuria, say to you when they meet you, ‘welcome home’. isn’t that sense of belonging anywhere a comfort that’s so needed these days?
an old woman who saw paddle sitting in his canoe and stuck between some rocks, gently lifted him out and brought him home. she said prayers for him and put some pitch from a tree into a large crack in the bottom of his boat.
the elder then released paddle into the grand river, asking Creator to help him on his voyage. paddle passed many farms, sacred sites, and a white eagle always flew around him. He came across cities that were dumping gargabe and toxins into the river and sometimes had to plug his nose or ears. People were rushing this way and that, giving no regard to the Ancestors, and many buildings were on top of old grave sites and sacred places.
then paddle came to a city called caledonia. there was a dark cloud hanging over the place and many blackened hearts. he prayed for the people, all races, and a tear fell from his face of wood. paddle asked Creator to bring light to those who held dark, and for peace and justice to come to the place called ‘the place of peace’ by the river where many were praying for the same.
paddle saw the poverty, oppression and theft of land of the praying people. he asked The Great Spirit to bring them strength to hold onto their faith that showed the light in these people’s hearts. a young girl saw paddle drift by, she waved at him and asked Creator to help protect him on his voyage. like the old woman, the girl saw paddle as a living being, like the rocks and plants and planet.
paddle’s tear dried up after the girl waved and the waters carried him towards lake erie.